Archive for May, 2014

Sunday, May 25th

National Memorial Day Concert, special from 8 to 9:30pm on PBS

– Not feeling like the beach? Check out the 25th annual D.C. event, with live acts like the National Symphony Orchestra and Megan Hilty.

The Normal Heart, original movie premiere at 9pm on HBO

– Academy Award nominee Mark Ruffalo, Matt Bomer, Taylor Kitsch, Emmy winner Jim Parsons and Academy Award winner Julia Roberts star in The Normal Heart. Directed by Emmy winner Ryan Murphy, the drama tells the story of the onset of the HIV-AIDS crisis in New York City in the early 1980s, taking an unflinching look at the nation’s sexual politics as gay activists and their allies in the medical community fight to expose the truth about the burgeoning epidemic to a city and nation in denial. Ruffalo portrays Ned Weeks, who witnesses first-hand a mysterious disease that has begun to claim the lives of many in his gay community and starts to seek answers. Matt Bomer plays Felix Turner, a reporter who becomes Ned’s lover. Taylor Kitsch plays Bruce Niles, a closeted investment banker who becomes a prominent AIDS activist. Jim Parsons plays gay activist Tommy Boatwright, reprising his role from the 2011 Broadway revival. Roberts plays physician Dr. Emma Brookner, a survivor of childhood polio who treats several of the earliest victims of HIV-AIDS.

Monday, May 26th

Masterchef, season premiere at 8pm on FOX

– Host and award-winning chef Gordon Ramsay, restaurateur Joe Bastianich and acclaimed chef Graham Elliot return for Season Five of the culinary smash hit Masterchef. The three celebrated food experts will put the latest group of contestants through a series of challenging elimination rounds and turn one home cook into a culinary master. The unscripted series once again will conduct a nationwide search for the best home cooks in America, thirty of which will be flown to Los Angeles to present their signature dishes to the judges in hopes of earning a coveted Masterchef apron. Once the auditions are over, the top home cooks will be put through their paces in a series of challenges designed to test their palates, food knowledge, passion and culinary skills. With each new challenge, the pressure will mount as the home cooks compete for the coveted title of Masterchef, a cookbook deal and the $250,000 grand prize.

Petals on the Wind, original movie premiere at 9pm on Lifetime

– On the heels of the hit Lifetime original movie “Flowers in the Attic,” comes the much-anticipated sequel. A decade after Cathy (Rose McIver, Masters of Sex, Once Upon a Time), Christopher (Wyatt Nash, Pretty Little Liars) and Carrie (“Bailey Buntain”, Bunheads) escaped from their grandparents’ attic at Foxworth Hall, “Petals on the Wind” continues to follow the twisted plight of the family as they attempt to put their sordid past behind them, but soon discover certain secrets can’t be left behind. When Cathy finds herself in an abusive relationship with a fellow dancer, Julian (Will Kemp, 90210), Christopher and Cathy are forced to face the forbidden feelings they developed for one another while coming of age during captivity. But when tragedy strikes the Dollangangers once again, Cathy returns to Foxworth Hall to confront her grandmother and seek revenge on her mother with a plan to seduce her husband Bart (Dylan Bruce, Orphan Black). When Christopher runs to Cathy’s side, the two are determined to start over again – together.

American Ninja Warrior, 2-hour season premiere at 9pm on NBC

– Everyone’s favorite heart-racing obstacle course competition series returns for its sixth season. Matt Iseman returns as host, along with former NFL player Akbar Gbaja-Biamila (NFL Network). Jenn Brown (NFL Network) serves as co-host. The action-packed premiere follows competitors as they tackle a series of challenging obstacle courses in both qualifying and finals rounds across the country. Those that successfully complete a course in their designated region will move on to the national finals round in Las Vegas, where they face a stunning four-stage course modeled after the famed Mt. Midoriyama in Japan. This season, the series will travel to five cities in search of the ultimate athlete – Los Angeles, Dallas, St. Louis, Miami and Denver – before heading to Las Vegas. Men and women from all walks of life will vie for the title of American Ninja Warrior, including school teachers and firemen, current and former members of the military, amateur sports enthusiasts and even a few Olympic gold medalists. In order to guarantee a spot in the national finals, competitors must successfully complete the finals course in their respective city. From there, competitors will travel to Las Vegas and earn the chance to win the title of American Ninja Warrior, along with the $500,000 grand prize.

The World Wars, 2-hour miniseries premiere at 9pm on History

– An assassination in Sarajevo sparks a global war. For the next 30 years, deadly fighting rages across Europe, Africa, China and the Pacific. Hitler. Churchill. De Gaulle. MacArthur. Patton. Stalin. Mussolini. We know them as legends. But they first learn what it will take to rise to greatness as young soldiers, fighting for their lives on the frontlines. This is the story of a generation of men who come of age in the trenches of World War I, only to become the leaders of World War II. The lessons they learn on the frontlines shape them as they rise to power—and haunt them as the deadly fighting breaks out again. Some become heroes, forged in courage under fire. Others emerge as the most infamous villains the world has ever seen. Theirs is one story—the story of a 30-year global struggle. A fight that will either save the world—or destroy it. Narrated by two-time Oscar nominee Jeremy Renner (“The Hurt Locker”, “The Town”), this three-night event series features gripping dramatic scenes, stunning CGI visuals and interviews with contemporary leaders, including John McCain, Colin Powell, John Major and David Miliband, along with noted historians from around the world. The World Wars is a mini-series event that takes viewers on an epic and groundbreaking ride through the bloodiest century in history.

Tuesday, May 27th

America’s Got Talent, 2-hour season premiere at 10pm on NBC

– NBC’s top-rated summer series from producer Simon Cowell returns this summer with the hottest performers from across the country ready to compete in the blockbuster reality show’s ninth season. Howard Stern, Heidi Klum, Mel B and Howie Mandel return as judges and Nick Cannon returns as host. With the talent search open to acts of all ages, America’s Got Talent has brought the variety format back to the forefront of American culture by showcasing performers from across the country. The series is a true celebration of the American spirit, featuring a colorful array of singers, dancers, comedians, contortionists, impressionists, jugglers, magicians, ventriloquists and hopeful stars, all vying for their chance to win America’s hearts and the $1 million prize.

The Wil Wheaton Project, series premiere at 10pm on Syfy

– The Wil Wheaton Project is a weekly topical comedy show hosted by actor, blogger and champion of geek culture Wil Wheaton. The 30-minute show is a fast-paced, lighthearted exploration and celebration of all things within the realm of science fiction and genre entertainment. Each week, Wil provides his insider point-of-view, sense of humor and genre expertise as he dissects the week’s most popular and trending topics across science fiction film, television and pop culture, video games, viral videos and news. Wil is on his feet for the rapid-fire half hour, delivering witty commentary on the things he knows and loves in this golden age of sci-pop culture. The result is a fun appreciation and celebration of fandom and all things science fiction.

The Night Shift, series premiere at 10pm on NBC

– Welcome to the night shift, where the toughest and craziest cases always seem to come through the door. Every shift is a fight between the heroic efforts of saving lives and the hard truths of running an underfunded hospital. At San Antonio Memorial, the men and women who work the night shift are an irreverent and special breed, particularly adrenaline junkie TC Callahan (Eoin Macken, Merlin). After three grueling tours of duty in Afghanistan, TC is about to learn that his toughest battles will be fought right here at home. He and his irreverent team of late-night docs, including his best friend Topher (Ken Leung, Lost) and protégé Drew (Brendan Fehr, Roswell), know how to let off steam with the casual prank or two, but when lives are at stake, they are all business. New night shift boss – and TC’s ex-girlfriend – Dr. Jordan Alexander (Jill Flint, The Good Wife) struggles to keep everyone in check, but TC doesn’t make it easy. Paul (Robert Bailey Jr., “Coraline”) is fresh out of medical school and still adjusting to the rigors of an emergency room. Krista (Jeananne Goossen, Alcatraz), also a new intern, has something to prove, while Kenny (JR Lemon, “Tyler Perry’s A Madea Christmas”) is a seasoned nurse who keeps the doctors focused and isn’t afraid to break a few rules to get the job done. Meanwhile, Landry de la Cruz (Daniella Alonso, Revolution), the lone psychiatrist on the night shift, finds she has to tend to her colleagues as much as she cares for the patients on the ward. Unfortunately, the night shift is now under new senior management and boss Michael Ragosa (Freddy Rodriguez, Six Feet Under) has to balance the real-world pressures of cutting costs while battling the stigma that he is more interested in saving money than helping people.

Little Women: LA, series premiere at 10pm on Lifetime

– Lifetime’s new reality series chronicles the adventures of a unique group of smart, sexy and funny girlfriends with big hearts, big personalities and even bigger drama…who all happen to be little people. Little Women: LA invites viewers to walk in their shoes as they deal with relationships, parenting, careers and especially, the ups and downs of friendships. Each episode features longtime girlfriends Terra Jole, Tonya Banks, Elena Gant, Christy McGinity, Briana Manson and Traci Harrison. They laugh, cry, compete and fight with one another, but through it all they share a special unbreakable bond. And, while dealing with everyday challenges like the rest of the world, they prove that height is just a number. There’s nothing small about this loud and proud group who can teach us all a lesson or two about living life to the fullest.

Wednesday, May 28th

So You Think You Can Dance, 2-hour season premiere at 8pm on FOX

– My favorite summer series soars into its 11th season with a two-hour premiere event showcasing America’s most talented dancers during the audition rounds. Hosted by Cat Deeley and featuring resident judges Nigel Lythgoe and Mary Murphy, as well as guest judges, including Jenna Dewan-Tatum (Atlanta), Billy Porter and Misty Copeland (Philadelphia), Wayne Brady (New Orleans), Jenna Elfman and Fabrice Calmels (Chicago) and Christina Applegate (Los Angeles). The new season of the Emmy Award-nominated hit dance competition series once again will include awe-inspiring performances, as well as nail-biting eliminations, as the contestants compete to be named America’s Favorite Dancer. In Season 11, producers travel across the country in search of dancers who represent the best America has to offer. Callbacks are held in Los Angeles, where the dancers work with top choreographers to learn routines that they will perform for judges Lythgoe and Murphy, and guest judges Adam Shankman, Tara Lipinski, Stephen “tWitch” Boss and Irina Dvorovenko. Once the judges pick the Top 20 dancers, they turn it over to America. Each week, the dancers will be paired up to perform inspired pieces choreographed by some of the biggest names in the business. The following week, one male and one female dancer will be eliminated from the competition. To add some star power to the early episodes this season, Justin Bieber will introduce a “dance crews” component to the show, which will be separate from the usual competition.

Rogue, season premiere at 8pm on DirecTV

– Grace (Thandie Newton) has left her life as an undercover cop to be a better mother to her daughter. She’s recently separated from Tom and with the arrival of her estranged mother, she’s got plenty of drama at home. Grace’s new job as a handler for an FBI task force has her investigating corporate espionage in San Francisco. But when her undercover operative, Sarah, goes missing, Grace is forced to go back undercover to save her. That’s when she meets Ethan (Cole Hauser), the owner of the security consultancy Sarah investigated before disappearing. Grace looks to gain Ethan’s trust to learn what happened to Sarah, but Ethan has his own agenda. His close friend and business partner was murdered the night Sarah vanished. He’s determined to find who’s responsible—creating a dangerous game of cat and mouse. As Grace gets closer to Ethan, her feelings grow. But can she trust him?

Big Ballet, series premiere at 10pm on Ovation

– Ovation proudly presents Big Ballet, a three-part docu-series that chronicles the highs and lows of a plus-size amateur troupe mounting a production of Swan Lake. Led by ballet legend Wayne Sleep, who worked through his own size issues as the shortest dancer ever to debut on the Royal Ballet stage, and Prima Ballerina Monica Loughman, Big Ballet shows the world that it’s not about the size of the dancer, but the size of the dancer’s heart.

Thursday, May 29th

Undateable, series premiere at 10pm on NBC

– From Bill Lawrence, the creator of Scrubs, Undateable is a new comedy series about a group of friends who are this close to finding a relationship – they just need a little help. Whether it’s due to a lack of style, the wrong job or even just a bad haircut, everyone goes through a time in their lives when they’re undateable. Most of us eventually grow out of it, but some people need a little more help than others. Enter Danny Burton (Chris D’Elia, Whitney). Confident, attractive and impervious to outside opinions, 29-year-old Danny – who may be in a state of arrested development himself – decides to help out his new roommate, Justin Kearney (comedian Brent Morin), the owner of an unsuccessful bar and a chronic overthinker, and Justin’s group of oddball friends – Shelly (comedian Ron Funches), Burski (comedian Rick Glassman) and Brett (David Fynn, Game of Thrones). Danny introduces the gang to his recently divorced older sister, Leslie (Bianca Kajlich, Rules of Engagement), who immediately bonds with this group of guys, as she feels a little stuck in her own life as well. The gang spends most of their time at Justin’s bar, helping solve each other’s respective problems over beers, and while they love to give each other a hard time, they always have each other’s back.

The Sixties, miniseries premiere at 9pm on CNN

– The space race, the cold war, “free love,” civil rights and more: The decade of the 1960s shaped our history – and changed the world. In collaboration with Tom Hanks, Gary Goetzman and Mark Herzog, CNN explores perhaps the most transformative decade of the modern era in a 10-part documentary series and brings new insights into how those events shaped today.

Friday, May 30th

Crossbones, series premiere at 10pm on NBC

– From Neil Cross, the award-winning creator of Luther, comes Crossbones, a compelling new drama filled with extraordinary action, adventure and intrigue – set in a world where one can never be sure just who is hero and who is villain. It’s 1729. On the secret island of Santa Compana, Edward Teach, better known as the barbarous pirate Blackbeard (Emmy winner John Malkovich, “Death of a Salesman,” “Red”), reigns over a rogue nation of thieves, outlaws and miscreants. Part shantytown, part utopia, part marauder’s paradise, this is a place like no other. Blackbeard has designs on the longitude chronometer, an invention that will change the world. During a massive attack on an English vessel, his most trusted pirates attempt to steal the device. But on board is Tom Lowe (Richard Coyle, Covert Affairs), an English spy working undercover as ship’s surgeon. Lowe’s mission is to prevent the chronometer from falling into the hands of pirates – and to assassinate Blackbeard, should the opportunity arise. Taken as prisoner to Santa Compana, Lowe must find a way to reassemble the precious chronometer, all while trying to uncover Blackbeard’s master plan – a plan that includes a greater threat to the English throne than merely pirates…

Derek, season premiere streaming on Netflix

– A bittersweet comedy-drama about a group of outsiders living on society’s margins, Derek centers around Derek Noakes (Ricky Gervais), a tender, innocent man whose love for his job at a retirement home shines through,” according to an official description. Derek cares deeply for the home’s residents, because they are kind and funny and tell him stories of what life used to be like. The success of Gervais’ tales of a simpleton working at an old folks’ home depends on an impeccable balance in tone; without it, the misty-eyed optimism is just empty schmaltz.

Saturday, May 31st

2014 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony, from 8 to 11pm on HBO

– Though only one woman entered the Hall of Fame this year, the ceremony was fully hijacked by ladies. The cavalcade of rock divas who filled in for the ill Linda Ronstadt (including Sheryl Crow and Stevie Nicks) bellowed and stomped through hits like ”You’re No Good”—and since inductees Nirvana were short one Kurt Cobain, a rotating cast of femmes fatales (Joan Jett, Kim Gordon, St. Vincent, and Lorde) howled through classics such as ”Smells Like Teen Spirit” and ”All Apologies.” As for the other newly inaugurated acts, Hall & Oates dealt buttery harmonies, Peter Gabriel delivered his still-joyous world-beat bonanza, and Kiss didn’t play at all—which is just as well, as this night belonged to the double-X-chromosome crew.

Billy Joel: The Bridge to Russia Concert, music special at 8pm on PBS

– Have a bottle of white, a bottle of red, and enjoy this throwback concert special featuring performances from Joel’s 1987 concerts in Russia.


Sunday, May 18th

Coldplay: Ghost Stories, music special at 7pm on NBC

– Chris Martin & Co. will perform their biggest hits and debut songs from their new album, and viewers at home will keep an eye on Gwenyth Paltrow’s twitter.

2014 Billboard Music Awards, live awards show from 8 to 11pm on ABC

– The annual Las Vegas shindig tends to double as a showcase for the industry’s summer tour offerings. This year, performers include Florida Georgia Line, Luke Bryan, and OneRepublic, all of whom will be coming to a stadium near you soon. Of course, there are awards as well, with Lorde, Katy Perry, and Justin Timberlake among the artists with the most nods.

Saturday Night Live: The Women of SNL, 2-hour special at 9pm on NBC

– A showcase highlighting the funniest women in the show’s 35-year history.

Monday, May 19th

The Bachelorette, season premiere at 9:30pm on ABC

– Roses! Mansions! Men! And… guns? (Both kinds!) The Bachelorette is back, but with Andi Dorfman at the center of it all, it’s oddly tame — despite Dorfman’s penchant for shooting firearms. The season premiere has all the dating show staples you’ve come to expect, but what it lacks is an edge. Dorfman is a little too good at keeping the guys at ease, and without a drunken idiot jumping in the pool or a suitor trying to sneak a smooch, the night is hardly worth the hangover. Being fair and genuine can work in reality, but reality TV needs a little more.

The Maya Rudolph Show, series premiere at 10pm on NBC

– No, Maya Rudolph isn’t returning to Saturday Night Live, but this may be the next best thing for fans of the actress/comedian/ Beyoncé impersonator. (Well, besides an 90-city ”Night of Nuni and Nuni” tour with Fred Armisen.) She has reteamed with SNL executive producer Lorne Michaels to headline her own variety special, one that returns us to the feel-good days of The Carol Burnett Show and Rudolph to a comedy playground full of song, dance, and sketch. ”I [was] a little embarrassed when I heard myself repeating the same thing over and over again, which is: I wanted a show where I could laugh with my friends,” she says. ”What is this — like, my sixth-grade yearbook?” Her classmates include SNL alums Andy Samberg, Chris Parnell, and Armisen, as well as Sean Hayes, Kristen Bell, and Craig Robinson, plus musical guest Janelle Monae. Also: Suggestive foods and keytars may be involved.

Tuesday, May 20th

I Wanna Marry “Harry”, series premiere at 9pm on FOX

– Reality meets romance, with a little twist, in the surprising dating show I Wanna Marry “Harry”. Summer love is in the air, as an average English “bloke” is given the royal treatment and an upper crust makeover before meeting 12 single American women searching for Prince Charming. Will he be able to convince them he’s regal? And if he does, will they fall for the crown, or fall in love with the real him? Join “Harry” as he courts each of the ladies, taking them on romantic dates worthy of a princess and trying to make some version of their fairytales come true.

Wednesday, May 21st

Motive, season premiere at 10pm on ABC

Summer crime procedural drama Motive returns for an exciting second season with gripping new cases featuring more complicated killers and intricate crime scenes. Homicide detective Angie Flynn (Kristin Lehman) is as determined as ever, and her pursuit for justice never falters. Her partner, Detective Oscar Vega, continues to be her rock with his no-nonsense attitude and methodical approach. Detective Brian Lucas is no longer the rookie at the station, a role he’s happy to hand over to the very keen and ambitious Officer Wendy Sung. And confident and charismatic new Team Commander Sergeant Mark Cross shakes up the station when he joins the team. He and Angie share a mysterious and strained connection, one she would prefer to leave in the past.

Thursday, May 22nd

Gang Related, series premiere at 9pm on FOX

– Every villain has a noble cause, and every hero has a dark side. In the gritty new action-drama, Detective Ryan Lopez (Ramon Rodriguez, “Battle Los Angeles,” The Wire) is a rising star in Los Angeles’ elite Gang Task Force. What the world doesn’t know is that long before Ryan became a cop, he pledged allegiance to a different band of brothers – a powerful Latino gang called Los Angelicos. When Ryan’s best friend and police partner is senselessly killed by a notorious gang member, Ryan teams up with longtime Task Force member Cassius Green (RZA, “G.I. Joe: Retaliation,” Californication), who has been at the forefront of the city’s war on organized crime. In this war between law enforcement and gangs, the series explores how only people who really know the streets can win the battle on the streets. Despite his profession, Ryan is still beholden to the gang’s leader, Javier Acosta (Cliff Curtis, “Live Free or Die Hard,” “Training Day”), the father figure Ryan has tried to make proud his entire life and the man who masterminded his entry into the police force. But Ryan is starting to realize that he is even more dedicated to being a cop than he is to Los Angelicos. While balancing two allegiances, two father figures and two families, Ryan’s increasing sense of loyalty to one will help him finally determine which side of the law he is really on.

Friday, May 23rd

Chrome Underground, series premiere at 10pm on Discovery

Chrome Underground follows Motoreum’s founder Antonio Brunet and Yusuf Johnson hunting classic cars around the world with the help of Andrew McLaren. Yusuf and Antonio are professional car hunters, but they aren’t your usual car pickers, as they put their lives on the line in their day jobs. Travelling outside the US to lawless countries no other dealer would dare to, they search for ‘diamond in the rough’ vehicles they can flip for a fortune. Mexico, Columbia, Venezuela – no country is off limits, even those where people are killed for their vehicles every day. From classic cars, to vintage bikes and even army tanks- they’ll cut a deal on anything if they think it’ll make them a profit.

Sunday, May 11th

Rosemary’s Baby, 2-hour miniseries premiere at 9pm on NBC

– Based on the 1967 best-selling suspense novel by Ira Levin, this new adaptation of Rosemary’s Baby centers on a young married couple who escapes New York and moves to Paris with hopes of leaving their sad past behind. After a series of unfortunate events, Rosemary and Guy Woodhouse are presented with an offer they can’t refuse – an apartment at the most prestigious address in the city. Problem is, it comes with a haunted past and an immeasurable price. In this new four-hour, two-part psychological thriller, Rosemary quickly finds herself surrounded by peculiar people and startling occurrences. Isolated in her apartment in a city where she doesn’t speak the language, she begins to fear the worst: Guy may have made a pact with their neighbors, promising their newborn as a human sacrifice in occult rituals in exchange for a writing career. To what lengths would someone be willing to go for success and fortune?

Oprah’s Master Class, season premiere at 10pm on OWN

– This Mother’s Day marks the beginning of an all-new season of masters sharing the greatest lessons they’ve learned, from triumphs and failures to disappointments and heartbreaks. Tune in to the season premiere featuring Justin Timberlake tonight. One of this generation’s most celebrated entertainers, Justin sits down for a candid conversation and shares stories he’s never told before about his musical influences and most valuable life lessons.

Penny Dreadful, series premiere at 10pm on Showtime

– Some of literature’s most terrifying characters, including Dr. Frankenstein, Dorian Gray, and iconic figures from the novel Dracula are lurking in the darkest corners of Victorian London. Penny Dreadful is a frightening psychological thriller that weaves together these classic horror origin stories into a new adult drama.

Tuesday, May 13th

Riot, series premiere at 9pm on FOX

– This hilarious thrill ride will knock you off your feet as Australian comedian Rove McManus and seven accomplished comics join Riot. Executive produced by Steve Carell, Riot features a group of regular players – including John Ross Bowie, Jamie Denbo, Brian Palermo, Jordan Black, Jessica McKenna, Meryl Hathaway and Rob Gleeson – improvising a series of showdowns designed to test mind and body. Throughout the show, the players must think on their feet as they face unpredictable song, dance and sketch challenges, often while navigating the show’s trademark one-of-a-kind set, tilted at a 22-degree angle. Each week, special celebrity guest stars also will be featured, including Cheryl Hines, David Arquette, Tom Green, and Mayim Bialik.

Friday, May 16th

Barbara Walters: Her Story, special at 9pm on ABC

– The retiring journalist and host of The View caps her last day of work with a reflective special. Maybe she’ll make herself cry?

Plimpton! Starring George Plimpton as Himself, documentary premiere at 9pm on PBS

– Famed participatory journalist George Plimpton (1927–2003) was a writer, editor, amateur sportsman, actor, and friend to many. Plimpton co-founded and worked as the editor of influential literary magazine The Paris Review for 50 years (1953-2003). Plimpton! Starring George Plimpton as Himself offers a charming introduction to the man who inspired a generation of ”extreme” first-person reporting. The documentary is both a chronicle of one of the last century’s most intriguing characters, as well as a cinematic adaption of his nuanced and funny literary style. Using Plimpton’s own narration, new interviews with friends, family and contemporaries, and extensive archival material, the film creates a compelling portrait of a one-of-a-kind person who lived fully, strangely and incredibly.

Sunday, May 4th

David Spade: My Fake Problems, comedy special at 10pm on Comedy Central

– Comedic super-star David Spade returns to the stage in his first hour-long stand-up special in over ten years. Taped at Hollywood’s The Fonda Theatre, David Spade: My Fake Problems is Spade at his best with his trademark snarky delivery. In this appropriately-titled special, the comedian recalls the time Chris Farley bought him 10 lap dances in a row. Well, they are cheaper if you purchase in bulk.

Monday, May 5th

24: Live Another Day, 12-episode series premiere at 8pm on FOX

24: Live Another Day is a thrilling new event series set to restart the ticking clock on the groundbreaking and Emmy Award-winning drama. Set and shot in London, the suspenseful event series once again will follow the exploits of heroic agent Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland). Four years ago, Jack was a fugitive from justice. Now an exile, he nevertheless is willing to risk his life and freedom to avert yet another global disaster. Tracking Jack are CIA head Steve Navarro (Benjamin Bratt, Law & Order); CIA agent Kate Morgan (Yvonne Strahovski, Dexter), who is both resourceful and ruthless; Jordan Reed (Giles Matthey, Jobs), a smart and sophisticated CIA computer tech; and Erik Ritter (Gbenga Akinnagbe, The Wire), a sharp, strong and arrogant field operative. Calling the shots is James Heller (William Devane, “The Dark Knight Rises”), now President of the United States. Heller is flanked by his Chief of Staff Mark Boudreau (Tate Donovan, Damages), who is married to Heller’s daughter – Jack’s former flame, Audrey (Kim Raver, Revolution). Meanwhile, a hardened Chloe O’Brian (Mary Lynn Rajskub), Bauer’s CTU confidante, is now working underground with high-profile hacker Adrian Cross (Michael Wincott, “The Crow”). The harrowing day will have Jack attempting to thwart an unthinkable terrorist attack that could change the world forever.

Louie, season premiere at 10pm on FX

– Louie’s back!!! After a 19-month hiatus, television’s most-critically acclaimed comedy series Louie will make its season four debut with two all new episodes of the Emmy Award winning show back-to-back every Monday. Created by stand-up comedian Louis C.K., Louie is a comedy revolving around Louie, a semi-fictional version of Louis C.K. played by C.K. The show is filtered through the observational humor of Louie. Each episode puts a spotlight on Louie’s hectic life as a stand-up comedian and single father who shares custody of his two daughters, Lilly (Hadley Delaney) and Jane (Ursula Parker). The single-camera comedy is a mix of Louie’s stand-up comedy and scripted films. The series deals with everyday life issues including work, parenting and relationships, and has touched on topics ranging from religion to politics to social behavior. While many of the episodes are stand-alone, the series has also included many serialized episodes, which will hold true in season four.

Tuesday, May 6th

Small Town Security, season premiere at 11pm on AMC

– AMC’s reality series follows the family-owned, private security company JJK Security in rural North Georgia led by matriarch Joan Koplan (The Chief). The unorthodox universe that revolves around Chief Joan Koplan continues to expand, as several new out-of-this-world characters join the JJK gang. Joan, Dennis, Irwin, Christa, Brian, and Lambchop are also forced to contend with a series of unexpected shocks and developments that seem as if they might have been written for a Spanish telenovela rather than a real-life television show. In season three, these curve-balls force our cast to lean on each other like never before. Keeping queen-bee Joan protected in her hive proves tougher than ever for our cast, as dwindling business, serious health issues, and a speecy spicy meatball close in on our beloved heroine. Joan’s hardworking, hoarding-prone husband Irwin sets off on several new adventures – none of which include cleaning his office – in an attempt to enjoy his retirement years even though he’s not retired and should instead be growing the business. Captain Starr continues to take bold steps to further his gender transformation from Denise to Dennis, and decides to enter the wild world of online dating while at the same time seeking to exert more power within the JJK hierarchy. The usually even-keeled Brian, when not fighting off Joan’s advances, starts to fight back against the onslaught of bad habits and backward thinking that infects the culture of JJK. And as the company’s workload continues to dwindle, so do Christa’s office hours…and she is forced to find other [rather unusual] ways to make ends meet. Provocative, preposterous, and unflinchingly real, season three of AMC’s reality series Small Town Security boldly goes where no man, woman, or chihuahua has gone before.

Wednesday, May 7th

Catfish: The TV Show, season premiere at 10pm on MTV

– Think the well has run dry of ”Please help!” requests from suspicious online lovers? Let the third season prove you wrong: The premiere exposes the ugly truth behind a sadistic bully-cum-hacker and her long-suffering Internet boyfriend. Singular in its cultural relevance, the docuseries remains one of TV’s most captivating hours, and hosts Nev Schulman and Max Joseph are stellar conduits into what’s become a worldwide phenomenon (catfish is now a verb, after all). Potential e-lovers, take heed: The truth about cyber-romance is out there — it just happens to be on MTV.

Thursday, May 8th

American Comedy Awards, live awards show from 9 to 11pm on NBC

– Revived by the peacock after 13 years, the American Comedy Awards honors those who have achieved new heights during the past year in both film and television, and pays tribute to some of comedy’s most enduring personalities. The telecast will acknowledge the work of stand-ups, those who specialize in movies and the actors and actresses who are seen by millions on TV every week. The (strangely) unhosted event’s nods include Anchorman 2 and Jim Gaffigan, and Chris Rock will honor Bill Cosby with a career-excellence award.

Maron, season premiere at 10pm on IFC

– Comedian and podcast host Marc Maron has so perfected the art of the humblebrag, even his TV alter ego jokes about how young his girlfriend is. When season 2 opens, Maron’s publicist has scored him a guest spot on AMC’s Talking Dead, though he’s never seen Walking Dead. His girlfriend (Nora Zehetner) offers to school him, but she also makes a request: He can’t use their relationship as material anymore. Good thing she’s not watching this episode, which begins with some decent gags (Maron wanting to profess his love with a toe ring!) before he gets to groaners like this: ”I have no problem dating a younger, hotter woman — it’s just a little bit trying when I ask her to clean her room.”

Saturday, May 10th

In the Flesh, season premiere at 10pm on BBC America

– Creator, Dominic Mitchell, reignites the world of teenager Kieren Walker (Luke Newberry), a PDS (Partially Deceased Syndrome) sufferer who continues in his struggle to find acceptance, in the second season of BBC’s America’s zombie miniseries In The Flesh. In the cauldron of Roarton, where the living and the undead have reached a fragile peace, Kieren is desperately keeping his head down and squirreling money into his ‘escape fund’ for Paris. But in the wider world, fear is in the air. The radical Pro-Living Party, Victus, is gaining government seats with a resulting spate of PDS Terrorism linked to the Undead Liberation Army (ULA). With the arrival of new and explosive characters from both Victus and the ULA, Kieren’s plans are thrown into disarray as both set their sights on him. He’ll find himself caught in the emotional crossfire, making his desire for a quiet life an unrealistic option.