Tag Archive: The Good Wife


60 Minutes, season premiere at 7:30pm on CBS

60 Minutes returns for its 47th season with Scott Pelley reporting from Iraq on the battle against ISIS.

Madam Secretary, series premiere at 8:30pm on CBS

– Alicia Florrick now has Téa Leoni’s Elizabeth McCord as an opening act. A CIA vet and mother of two, McCord is tapped to be secretary of state when her predecessor dies. And she’s given the worst first assignment ever: rescuing two kidnapped American teenage boys who are being held in Syria. Leoni has great potential here (and is supported by a marvelous cast, including Bebe Neuwirth, Željko Ivanek, and Keith Carradine), but the character development and ”I’m already hooked” magic (à la Good Wife) aren’t quite there yet. Right now Madam Secretary is just kind of The Pretty Good Wife.

Masterpiece Mystery! Miss Marple, 3-hour season premiere at 8pm on PBS

– While staying at a lavish tropical island hotel, Miss Marple investigates the
 sudden death of a fellow guest. With the help of a curmudgeonly business tycoon, Miss Marple unravels a web of deceit, murder and “dark magic,” leaving her to consider every one of the hotel’s guests as a suspect. Sir Antony Sher (God on Trial) guest stars. Filmed on location in South Africa and based on Christie’s 1964 novel, A Caribbean Mystery was adapted by comedian, author and actor Charlie Higson, who has a cameo as the unassuming American ornithologist James Bond. Also starring are MyAnna Buring (Downton Abbey), Pippa Bennett Warner (Case Histories), and Charity Wakefield (Any Human Heart).

The Good Wife, season premiere at 9:30pm on CBS

– Season 6 will premiere with Alicia (Julianna Margulies) in a difficult spot. Eli (Alan Cumming) wants Alicia to run for State’s Attorney, but Alicia is bent on not getting involved. Meanwhile, episode 1 will also find Diane (Christine Baranski) considering joining Florrick/ Agos as a partner.

Mr. Pickles, series premiere at 11:30pm on Adult Swim

– Adult Swim’s new animated comedy, Mr. Pickles, is about 6-year-old Tommy Goodman (Kaitlyn Robrock), his family and their Border Collie, Mr. Pickles (Will Carsola). The show follows Tommy and Mr. Pickles as they embark on adventures. However, Mr. Pickles has a dark secret – he likes to kill, mutilate and hump his victims.

Squidbillies, season premiere at 11:45pm on Adult Swim

Squidbillies is back for another season. Fans can look forward to seeing Early (Unknown Hinson) get involved in the fight for marriage equality in the Season 9 premiere.

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2014 TV Premiere Week: Monday, September 22nd

Sunday, March 9th

Once Upon A Time, midseason premiere at 8pm on ABC

Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey, series premiere at 9pm on FOX

– From the irreverent Seth McFarlane comes … a brainy mind-expanding exploration of the universe?! Believe it. Of course, let’s not give the Family Guy guy too much credit: its a 21st-century reboot of astronomer Carl Sagan’s iconic 1980 science television series Cosmos, albeit embellished with lavish production values and hosted by the formidable Neil deGrasse Tyson. The premiere is overview: Big Bang theory, the organization of the universe, historical understanding of creation. The emphasis on how Christians persecuted early rebels of reason feels like subversive score-settling. Tyson‘s sincere share about Sagan’s personal impact sets a better tone. Cosmos captures the imagination anew by celebrating imagination itself as an essential tool to a deeper, more truthful understanding of life.

Chopped Tournament of Stars, season premiere at 9pm on Food

– In an all-new five-part Chopped competition, athletes, RvG alums, comedians and actors will compete for a chance to win a $50,000 grand prize for charity. Over four themed episodes, celebrities will face the dreaded mystery basket ingredients and cook in three rounds — appetizer, entree and dessert. One celebrity from each of the four episodes will advance to the finale where one lucky competitor will walk away with the grand prize and bragging rights as the Chopped Tournament of Stars champion.

Long Island Medium, season premiere at 9pm on TLC

– Season 5 appears to deliver everything viewers love and come to expect from Theresa Caputo aka the Long Island Medium. Caputo’s clients run the full gamut of emotions in reaction to her surprisingly accurate, sometimes impromptu readings. In between all that, Caputo and her husband have to deal with empty nest syndrome as the kids move on to new chapters in their lives, which kicks off with a road trip special in San Francisco, where Theresa meets a man whose partner died of HIV. He keeps the memory of his late boyfriend alive in several ways, such as participating in the annual AIDS/LifeCycle bike ride. But, he has had a hard time moving on to a new romantic relationship. Theresa tells him that his partner’s spirit encourages him to move on to a new relationship — even sending her thoughts of online dating sites that he can join.

The Good Wife, midseason premiere at 9pm on CBS

Resurrection, series premiere at 9pm on ABC

– The people of Arcadia, Missouri are forever changed when their deceased loved ones suddenly start to return. At the start of this fantasy drama, an 8-year-old American boy wakes up alone in a rice paddy in a rural Chinese province with no idea how he got there. Details start to emerge when the boy, who calls himself Jacob, recalls that his hometown is Arcadia, and an Immigration agent, J. Martin Bellamy, takes him there. The home he claims as his own is occupied by an elderly couple, Henry and Lucille Langston, who lost their son, Jacob, more than 30 years ago. While they look different, young Jacob recognizes them as his parents. Those closest to the family try to unravel this impossible mystery — but this boy who claims to be the deceased Jacob knows secrets about his own death that no one else knows. If less spookily atmospheric than the Sundance Channel’s not dis-similar Returned, Resurrection handsomely frames its ”What the Hell?” premise.

Revenge, midseason premiere at 10pm on ABC

The Mentalist, midseason premiere at 10pm on CBS

Lindsay, series premiere at 10pm on OWN

– The highly anticipated OWN docu-series Lindsay follows movie star and media sensation Lindsay Lohan on her journey through recovery following a very public period of crisis. Lindsay is one of the most talented young actresses of her generation, boasting an impressive list of credits, including “The Parent Trap” and “Mean Girls”. Having had her career and personal life sidelined by her public struggles, Lindsay is strikingly candid about her life and is more determined than ever to get back on her feet. In this honest, no-holds-barred account, viewers will see an intimate, unflinching look into the life of one of the world’s most sought-after celebrities. Cameras follow Lindsay as she returns to New York, reunites with friends and family, and attempts to build a new life. As she works to stay on track amid the demands (and pitfalls) of fame, she opens up as never before, discussing everything from her emotional recovery process to her exhausting run-ins with the paparazzi.

My Five Wives, series premiere at 10pm on TLC

My Five Wives features Brady Williams, his five wives, and their combined 24 children, who all live together on their large family property outside Salt Lake City, Utah. Following as he balances the needs, hopes, frustrations, and fears of each wife along with his own, the special offers a candid and open look at this controversial lifestyle, and goes behind closed doors to share the intimate details and complicated decisions they have to make as a larger than average family. When My Five Wives returns, the family is constantly on the go. On top of it all, adoption is up for discussion with one wife, and another might be pregnant. New education opportunities, busy careers, and growing kids exploring their identities and perspectives on marriage prove that this family is anything but static!

Online Dating Rituals of the American Male, series premiere at 10pm on Bravo

– Bravo unmasks the world of the booming online dating culture from the male perspective on the new docu-series, Online Dating Rituals of the American Male. Each week, the show follows two men as they hunt for their ideal partner (or fling!). Viewers will get an inside look at the male psyche from the beginning stages of trolling and communicating online to landing a date with a potential match. The series features a variety of men from the typical “romantic” searching for his one true love to the guy whose goal is strictly getting lucky. From earnest romance to cringe-worthy moments, viewers will get a taste of the trials and tribulations that come along with dating in the digital age.

Monday, March 10th

Believe, series premiere at 9pm on NBC

– Directed by “Gravity helmer Alfonso Cuarón (who also co-created the show), the supernatural show’s pilot centers on a 10-year-old girl with mysterious powers she has trouble controlling. Levitation, telekinesis, the ability to control nature, see the future… since she was born, Bo (Johnny Sequoyah) has had gifts she could neither fully understand nor control. But now that she is 10 years old, her powers have become stronger and the threat from malevolent forces that would use her abilities to control the world has grown more dangerous. With her life and future in jeopardy, Bo’s protector, Milton Winter (Delroy Lindo, “The Chicago Code”), turns to an unlikely source to keep her safe – Tate (Jake McLaughlin, “Crash”), a wrongfully imprisoned death row inmate who’s lost his will. Tate and Bo begin an extraordinary journey, one in which trust must be earned. On the run and traveling from city to city, every place they stop and everyone they meet will be changed forever. But they’ll have to keep going to stay one step ahead of the sinister forces after Bo’s power… because it will take a miracle to keep them safe forever. If it’s not already obvious: Yes, this is a J.J. Abrams production.

Tuesday, March 11th

Chrisley Knows Best, series premiere at 10pm on USA

– Welcome to Todd Chrisley’s House of Quips, a reality show where everyone speaks like a bitchy Southern-fried caricature. The patriarch of the Chrisley family, Todd is a self-made millionaire and successful entrepreneur.  Born in Georgia and raised in Westminster, SC – Todd and his wife of nearly 18 years, Julie, raise their five children in the suburbs of Atlanta. Todd Chrisley isn’t your typical father. Brash and outspoken with a razor sharp southern wit and remarkable ability to dish insults, he keeps the family in line through his tough and at times brutally honest form of parenting. Todd runs his family just like his business – with an iron fist – and micromanages every move and expenditure made by each member of the Chrisley clan. A “patriarch of perfection,” Todd believes that he has all the answers.  As Todd often jokes to his children, he’s “already been there, done that, and got the tee-shirt.”

Friday, March 14th

Vice, season premiere at 11pm on HBO

– Piers Morgan is stepping down from his CNN chair, Alec Baldwin has left MSNBC (among other things), and Woody Allen’s ”son” is a trusted news source. What happened to TV journalism? A lot, but the second season of Vice‘s news program tries to reverse the trend with more boots-on-the-ground reporting and, at least in the premiere, fewer stunts. (Remember when they sent Dennis Rodman to North Korea?) This edition has Shane Smith exploring the rampant corruption in Afghanistan, where it seems American dollars are helping make the Taliban stronger. Yes, you read that right. The Vice guys may be on the brash side, but perhaps more journos should take note.

Sunday, September 29th

The Amazing Race, season premiere at 8pm on CBS

Once Upon A Time, season premiere at 8pm on ABC

The Simpsons, season premiere at 8pm on FOX

Bob’s Burgers, season premiere at 8:30pm on FOX

Family Guy, season premiere at 9pm on FOX

Revenge, season premiere at 9pm on ABC

The Good Wife, season premiere at 9pm on CBS

Homeland, season premiere at 9pm on Showtime

American Dad, season premiere at 9:30pm on FOX

Masters of Sex, series premiere at 10pm on Showtime

Betrayal, series premiere at 10pm on ABC

The Mentalist, season premiere at 10pm on CBS

Eastbound & Down, season premiere at 10pm on HBO

Hello Ladies, series premiere at 10:30pm on HBO

Monday, September 30th

We Are Men, series premiere at 8:30pm on CBS

We Are Men is a single-camera comedy about four single guys living in a short-term apartment complex who unexpectedly find camaraderie over their many missteps in love. Carter, the youngest and most recent addition to the group, moved in after being ditched at the altar mid-ceremony, and is now eager to re-enter the dating scene and get on with his life with some guidance from his “band of brothers”: Frank Russo, a successful middle-aged clothing manufacturer and four-time divorcée who still fancies himself a ladies man; Gil Bartis, a small business owner who was caught having the world’s worst affair; and Stuart Weber, a speedo-wearing OB/GYN who’s hiding his assets until his second divorce is settled. Abby is Frank’s charming and attractive daughter, who stands as the one positive remnant from his failed relationships. Armed with a hot tub, pool-side barbeque and plenty of questionable advice, these losers in the marriage department take Carter under their wing to impart their own brand of wisdom about the opposite sex.

RuPaul’s Drag Race: The Lost Season Ru-Vealed, season premiere at 9pm on Logo

– Fans of RuPaul’s Drag Race: rejoice! There’s no need to wait until February for more Ru, because The Lost Season is here at last! Ru’s very first cast of drag competitors had no idea what they were getting into, and neither did we! This season full of firsts just may be the most unpredictable one ever. The nine episodes that started a Ruvolution are stuffed to their fishy gills with legendary, herstory-making moments, on the way to one coveted title: America’s next drag superstar. Meet ferocious queens like Nina Flowers, regal BeBe Zahara Benet, bubbly Ongina and many more as they turn it out on the runway and lip-sync for their lives! If you missed it the first time around, here’s your chance to see where it all began as Ru declares who will “Shantay” and stay or “Sashay away” for the very first time! Seen it already? Then gag over the brand-new extras, like video commentary, intros from Ru and the gals, and exclusive online behind-the-scenes footage! Sure, season one’s workroom appears to be held together with duct tape and Ru’s close-ups are shot through a mummy’s worth of gauze. But it’s all part of the magic! Drool over the hunky Pit Crew, cackle at the cornucopia of catch phrases, and count the ‘Cama-rooon’s!’ as RuPaul’s Drag Race: The Lost Season redefines Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve, and Talent.

Wednesday, October 2nd

Super Fun Night, series premiere at 9:30pm on ABC

– Written, co-executive producer and starring Rebel Wilson (Pitch Perfect, Bridesmaids), this new comedy series follows Junior attorney Kimmie Boubier (Wilson) and her two best friends Helen-Alice (Liza Lapira) and Marika (Lauren Ash) have had a standing date every Friday night for the last 13 years. They even have a motto for what they call “Friday Night Fun Night”: “Always together! Always Inside!” However, Kimmie’s recent promotion throws a monkey wrench into the tradition, and she meets a dashingly handsome British attorney, Richard Royce (Kevin Bishop).

Top Chef, season premiere at 10pm on Bravo

– Emmy and James Beard Award-winning series Top Chef is back and heads to New Orleans. This season kicks-off with a new pre-premiere digital video series, Padma’s Picks. Padma’s Picks gives one of New Orleans’ most talented chefs the opportunity to cook their way on to the actual show. Host and Judge Padma Lakshmi visits some of The Big Easy’s most celebrated establishments to find 10 of the best and brightest chefs from New Orleans. These chefs will then battle head-to-head to make it to the finale of Padma’s Picks with the ultimate winner earning a coveted spot on this season’s cast. Returning to the judges table in NOLA for Top Chef Season 11 are lead judge Tom Colicchio, Gail Simmons, Hugh Acheson, and New Orlean’s own Emeril Lagasse, alongside host Padma Lakshmi. This season will up the ante against the backdrop of the gastronomically diverse city of New Orleans — and the chefs will be tasked with serving up food for top entertainers, culinary stars and celebrity guest judges including: Jon Favreau, Lea Michelle, Anthony Mackie, Questlove, Leah Chase, Paul Prudhomme, Jacques Pepin, David Chang, John Besh, and Eddie Huang as well as local legends Kermit Ruffins and Dr. John.

Ironside, series premiere at 10pm on NBC

– In the gritty world of the NYPD, no one’s tougher than Detective Robert Ironside. He’s a fearless cop who won’t stop until the guilty are brought to justice. He and his trusted, handpicked team of specialists will do whatever it takes to solve New York’s most difficult and notorious crimes – even if it means breaking the rules. Tough, sexy and acerbic, Ironside’s never been afraid to call it like he sees it. As a detective, his instincts are second to none, and those around him have to stay on their toes if they want to keep up… because when his spine was shattered by a bullet two years ago, Ironside swore he’d never let a damn wheelchair slow him down. Justice. Nothing gets in his way. Blair Underwood stars in a bold new drama about a different kind of cop.

Thursday, October 3rd

The Vampire Diaries, season premiere at 8pm on The CW

– In the tumultuous fourth season of The Vampire Diaries, the world of Mystic Falls was turned upside down when the beautiful and compassionate Elena Gilbert (Nina Dobrev) came face-to-face with her worst nightmare – life as a vampire. While Elena struggled to control her new powers and the overwhelming thirst for blood, the astonishing news that a cure for vampirism may actually exist reached Damon (Ian Somerhalder) and Stefan (Paul Wesley) Salvatore, the two vampire brothers who love her. Their search for the cure leads the brothers, along with Elena’s brother Jeremy (Steven R. McQueen) and her best friends Bonnie (Kat Graham) and Caroline (Candice Accola), to a horrifying confrontation with the ancient and all-powerful immortal, Silas, who has been entombed with the cure for more than 2,000 years. But Elena isn’t the only vampire who longs to return to life as a human, and the question of who will take the cure is resolved in the heart-stopping season finale, along with moments of unexpected joy, unspeakable sorrow, and a confession of true love. The series heads into its fifth season with some characters headed off to college, a newly cured vampire trying to survive as a human, and a shocking Salvatore secret.

The Millers, series premiere at 8:30pm on CBS

The Millers stars Will Arnett as Nathan Miller, a recently divorced local roving news reporter looking forward to living the singles life until his parents’ marital problems unexpectedly derail his plans. After Nathan finally breaks the news of his divorce to his parents, Carol and Tom, his father is inspired to follow suit and stuns the family when he leaves his wife of 43 years. Already in shock, Nathan is even more aghast when his meddlesome mom decides to move in with him. Meanwhile, his absent-minded dad imposes upon Nathan’s sister Debbie, her husband Adam and their daughter. Nathan’s best friend and news cameraman Ray was excited to be Nathan’s wingman in the dating scene, but Carol manages to even cramp his style. Now, as Nathan and his sister settle in with their truly impossible parents, they both wonder just how long the aggravating adjustment period is going to last.

Scandal, season premiere at 10pm on ABC

– Everyone has a secret… and Olivia Pope (Kerry Washington) has dedicated her life to protecting and defending the public images of the nation’s elite and keeping those secrets under wraps. Revered and feared at the same time, Olivia, a former communications director to the President of the United States, left the White House to open her own prominent crisis management firm. Her clients aren’t the only ones with secrets, though; surprisingly, she may need to exercise all her damage control skills on her own behalf. When we last left Olivia Pope and Associates, Olivia herself became the client when news spilled that Olivia is the President’s mistress and we discovered the man who’s been plotting against her is her dear old dad Rowan (Joe Morton). Furthermore, Fitz retreated to his wife Mellie after Olivia spurned his offer to become the First Lady; ace spy Jake (Scott Foley) was tossed into a nasty subterranean purgatory for killing a B613 agent to save Olivia; chief of staff Cyrus (Jeff Perry) was carted to the hospital because of a bad ticker; and mini-ninja Quinn’s (Katie Lowes) newfound thirst for torture freaked the heck out of her sensei, Huck (Guillermo Diaz).

Welcome to the Family, series premiere at 8:30pm on NBC

– Dan Yoder (Mike O’Malley, Glee, My Name Is Earl) and wife, Caroline (Mary McCormack, In Plain Sight, The West Wing), think they finally have it made. Their daughter, Molly (Ella Rae Peck, Deception, Gossip Girl) – not the most diligent of students – has managed to graduate from high school and has been accepted to college. Her proud parents are looking forward to an empty nest and are breathing a heavy sigh of relief. Across town, Molly’s secret boyfriend, Junior Hernandez (Joey Haro, Glee, Awkward), is graduating from his high school with top honors and has plans to go to Stanford. Parents Miguel (Ricardo Chavira, Desperate Housewives) and Lisette (Justina Machado, Six Feet Under, ER) are bursting with pride. Everything seems like it is falling into place for them, but unbeknownst to both families, Molly and Junior are about to become parents themselves. Once the teens break the big news, these two very different families are thrown together, which goes anything but smoothly… and the news that Molly and Junior are engaged to be married doesn’t exactly make things better. Dan and Miguel have the most difficult time adjusting to their new situation (and each other), while Caroline and Lisette take a softer approach to getting to know one another. When each of the parents realizes the kids are serious about making a life together, the adults exhale and begin to come to terms with this new blended family. Clearly, it will take understanding, humor, love and patience to make it all work.

Sean Saves The World, series premiere at 9pm on NBC

– Sean Hayes (Will & Grace, Hot in Cleveland) returns to NBC in a new comedy from the creator of Better Off Ted about work and family… the ultimate balancing act! Sean’s a divorced dad who’s trying to juggle it all. From his overbearing boss and offbeat employees at work – to his pushy mom and weekends with his teenage daughter at home – handling it all is no easy task. So when Ellie, his 14-year-old bundle of joy, moves in full-time, it’s a whole new challenge. Never one to do anything halfway, Sean’s intent on being the best dad ever – so he loads up on parenting how-to books and plans Pinterest-worthy family dinners. But it seems his company’s new owner has decided Sean and his team should work longer hours, throwing a kink in his perfectly constructed homemaking plans. Ellie, a normal girl who wants to hang with her friends and eat on the run, sees this development as a plus. She loves her dad, but he’s clearly going overboard. From keeping his boss happy, his employees motivated and enduring his mother’s tactless “advice” to raising a smart, grounded and healthy kid, it’s going to be a growing experience, to say the least. But if anyone can swing it, it’s Sean.

The Originals, series premiere at 9pm on The CW

– Family is power. The Original Vampire family swore it to each other a thousand years ago. They pledged to remain together, always and forever. Now, centuries have passed, and the bonds of family are broken. Time, tragedy and hunger for power have torn the Original Family apart. Klaus Mikaelson, the original vampire-werewolf hybrid, has returned to New Orleans, the city his family helped build, the city from which he and his siblings – Elijah and Rebekah – were exiled a century ago by their relentless hunter father. Curious as to why Klaus would return to the one place he swore he would never set foot again, Elijah follows his brother and learns that the beautiful and rebellious werewolf Hayley – Klaus’ onetime flame – has also come to the French Quarter searching for clues to her family history. Hayley has fallen into the hands of a powerful witch named Sophie Deveraux. When Sophie reveals to the brothers the almost unbelievable news that Hayley is carrying Klaus’ unborn child, Elijah realizes that the Original family has been given a second chance at humanity and the redemption they desperately crave. But Klaus is more intrigued by his recent unexpected reunion with his former protégé, Marcel, a charismatic but diabolical vampire who now has total control over the human and supernatural inhabitants of New Orleans. Tensions between the town’s supernatural factions – vampires, witches, werewolves and humans – are nearing a breaking point as Marcel commands his devoted followers and rules with absolute power. As Klaus vows to reclaim what was once his – the power, the city and his family – he realizes that Elijah is right and that his unborn child could be the key to the Originals’ return to power.

Friday, October 4th

Cassadee Pope: Frame by Frame, series premiere at 10pm on CMT

– Follow the season three winner of The Voice as Cassadee Pope embarks on her career as a country artist. Behind-the-scenes footage shows Pope recording her first solo music video, performing at the CMT Music Awards and releasing her first single. Pope gained attention with her pop-rock background initially on Team Blake during The Voice but quickly rediscovered her roots and topped the iTunes charts with three country performances. Shortly after her fan-voted victory, she signed a record deal with Republic Nashville and began working on her debut album, Frame by Frame, with renowned music producers Dann Huff, Nathan Chapman, Max Martin and Shellback. Her unique vocals and powerful performances earned the 24-year-old Florida native a coveted opening slot on Rascal Flatts’ Live & Loud tour that kicked off in May with The Band Perry. Cameras rolled as Pope prepared to embark on the tour with two of country’s hottest trios — and the journey of a lifetime. The docu-series reveals an intimate look into what it’s like to be an aspiring artist in the country music industry. For Pope, it’s a barrage of endless work days, cross-country travel and unexpected twists of fate.

Sunday, September 29th

The Amazing Race, season premiere at 8pm on CBS

The Amazing Race is a multi-Emmy Award-winning reality series hosted by Emmy Award- nominated host Phil Keoghan, which pits 11 teams, each comprised of two members, against each other on a trek around the world for approximately 25 days. At every destination, each team must compete in a series of challenges, some mental and some physical, and only when the tasks are completed will they learn of their next location. Teams who are the farthest behind will gradually be eliminated as the contest progresses, with the first team to arrive at the final destination winning $1 million. Season 23’s teams will paraglide over Chilean sand dunes, take an icy plunge in Norway and race cars in Abu Dhabi.

Once Upon A Time, season premiere at 8pm on ABC

– Once upon a time there was a fairy-tale show that everybody watched, but then it got super-complicated and its Sunday-night spell began to fade. In season 3, Once will be more focused with the core cast on a mission in a new world. It’s fairy-tale “Avengers” on Captain Hook’s boat going to Neverland to rescue a kid from Peter Pan (who in Once’s world has a dark streak). And the Evil Queen (Lana Parrilla) gets a love interest, and a mermaid Ariel (JoAanna Garcia) shows up. Fingers crossed for a talking crab named Sebastian.

The Simpsons, season premiere at 8pm on FOX

– Season 25 opens with a different kind of Homer. He returns from a nuclear workers’ convention acting so weird that Lisa calls the FBI. In other episodes, Homer delivers a baby in an elevator and Sideshow Bob pops up as a food scientist. Also, Comic Book Guy finds love with a Japanese woman.

Bob’s Burgers, season premiere at 8:30pm on FOX

– The only thing the Belcher clan loves more than working at the restaurant is not working at the restaurant. In the season 4 premiere the family goes camping, but it ends poorly for them. H. Jon Benjamin who voices Bob says “diarrhea is involved.”

Family Guy, season premiere at 9pm on FOX

– The Griffin family’s adventures begin this season when Peter finds a clue for a treasure…on a kids’ menu place mat. Also on tap for season 12: Quagmire counsels Meg when she’s being bullied at school, Cleveland returns, and Peter has a twin growing out of his neck. “The family ends up liking him better than Peter,” explains exec producer Steve Callaghan, “so there’s a rivalry between Peter and his vestigial twin.”

Revenge, season premiere at 9pm on ABC

– In the first 60 seconds of the season 3 premiere, Emily Thorne (Emily VanCamp) is shot at her wedding and falls into the ocean. But per Revenge tradition, we’ll have to wait for the pieces of the puzzle to come together later this season. This season, the stories will focus less on Initiative-related hoo-ha and more on the main characters. Of particular interest is what’s to come between Emily and Jack (Nick Wechsler), who now knows she is his real beloved Amanda.

The Good Wife, season premiere at 9pm on CBS

– In the season 4 finale, after Peter (Chris Noth) won the election, Alicia (Julianna Marguiles) phoned someone to meet at her apartment. When the door opened, it wasn’t Will (Josh Charles) but Cary (Matt Czuchry), who had asked her to leave Lockhart/Gardner to star a firm with him. Her answer? “I’m in.” In season 5, Alicia and Cary are still plotting their exit. Meanwhile, Diane (Christina Baranski) pursues a judgeship, leading to a recurring conflict at the firm. Marguiles says viewers should expect fireworks.

Homeland, season premiere at 9pm on Showtime

– The winner of 6 Emmy Awards including Outstanding Drama Series, Homeland is an edge-of-your-seat sensation. Marine Sergeant Nicholas Brody (Emmy winner Damian Lewis) is both a decorated hero and a serious threat. CIA officer Carrie Mathison (Emmy winner Claire Danes) is tops in her field despite being bipolar. The delicate dance these two complex characters perform, built on lies, suspicion, and desire, is at the heart of this gripping, emotional thriller in which nothing short of the fate of our nation is at stake. In season 2, Carrie continued her hunt for Abu Nazir while maintaining a complicated personal/professional relationship with Brody. Meanwhile, Brody was nailed as a terrorist by Carrie and forced to become a double agent. The second-sea finale saw the CIA’s offices bombed by terrorists, with Brody blamed for the act and on the run to Canada—with an assist from Carrie. Season 3 picks up two months later with much still up in the air. Numerous agencies are running a massive manhunt after Brody. At the same time, the CIA finds itself under attack for its negligence in the days and weeks leading up to the bombing.

American Dad, season premiere at 9:30pm on FOX

– The 10th-season premiere features Steve and Snot trying to lose their virginity…via cloning. It backfires when the girls come out of the cloning machine as infants, so Steve and Snot have to spend the summer raising these girls. And by the time they’re ready for prom, Steve and Snot have developed paternal feelings so there goes their plan.

Masters of Sex, series premiere at 10pm on Showtime

– A little historical and a whole lot steamy, this new period drama about the early days of the sexual revolution has all the ingredients of the perfect cable drama. Masters of Sex stars Michael Sheen (“Frost/Nixon”) and Lizzy Caplan (Party Down) as real-life pioneers of the science of human sexuality, gynecologist William Masters and his research assistant Virginia Johnson. Their research touched off the sexual revolution and took them from a midwestern teaching hospital to the cover of Time magazine and multiple appearances on Johnny Carson’s couch. He is a brilliant scientist out of touch with his own feelings, and she is a single working mother ahead of her time. The series chronicles their unusual lives, romance, and unlikely pop culture trajectory.

Betrayal, series premiere at 10pm on ABC

– Two lovers’ worlds will collide, culminating in a powerful and compelling story of sex, love, loyalty, marriage and treachery in this provocative, sensual and gripping new drama. Based on a Dutch series, Betrayal starts off with a meet-cute between professional photographer Sarah Henley (Hannah Ware), and high-powered attorney Jack McAllister (Stuart Townsend), who have an instant and undeniable attraction, but they’re both married. Sara’s husband, Drew Stafford (Chris Johnson), is a successful prosecutor with political aspirations, and the couple have a seven-year-old, Oliver. Unbeknownst to Sara, Jack is in-house counsel to a powerful but somewhat shady entrepreneur, Thatcher Karsten (James Cromwell), and is married to Thatcher’s daughter, Elaine (Wendy Moniz). Elaine is secure in her relationship with Jack and the couple has 16-year-old twins, Valerie (Elizabeth McLaughlin) and Victor (Braeden Lemasters). However, Sara and Jack both realize something is missing in their marriages, and fight against the realization that they’ve met their soul mates in one another. As Sara and Jack struggle with their feelings and their guilt about their families, Thatcher’s brother-in-law, Lou, is murdered, and all evidence points to Thatcher’s mentally challenged son, T. J. (Henry Thomas). Sara discovers she’s in the middle of a nightmare when she learns that Drew will be the prosecuting attorney in this high-profile murder case, which can secure his political future, and that Jack will be the lawyer for the defense. The lovers find themselves in an impossible situation – on opposite sides of a murder investigation.

The Mentalist, season premiere at 10pm on CBS

– After seeing pictures of seven possible baddies in the season 5 finale, fans just to know one thing: Who is Red John? A lot of the stories we’ve been following will be coming to their climaxes, not their conclusions. Nonetheless, CBS announced that we will learn who killed Patrick Jane’s (Simon Baker) family by year’s end.

Eastbound & Down, season premiere at 10pm on HBO

Eastbound & Down appeared to end definitively last year with a finale that saw Kenny Powers (Danny McBride) leave baseball behind to be with his family. After a surprise renewal, this fourth and final season finds a Kenny who’s living in the suburbs, is married, and has a pretty normal life…and he’s pretty miserable. Therefore, he once again embarks on a quest for fame and fortune—one that involves new cast member Ken Marino (Childrens Hospital, Burning Love) as a successful ex-athlete.

Hello Ladies, series premiere at 10:30pm on HBO

The Office co-creator Stephen Merchant creates, writes, executive produces and stars in Hello Ladies, a new comedy series based on material from his stand-up special of the same name. In his first starring series role, Merchant portrays Stuart, a web designer who recently relocated to LA from England in hopes of finding excitement, romance, and maybe even a soul mate. Working out of his LA home, Stuart has an easy rapport with an attractive roommate named Jessica (Christine Woods), though it is clear she’s not romantically interested in him. Half as charming as he thinks he is – and twice as desperate – Stuart is obsessed with infiltrating the glamorous world of beautiful people, and doggedly hits the LA social scene in the company of pals Wade (Nate Torrence), who’s in the throes of a separation from his wife, and Kives (Kevin Weisman), a charismatic paraplegic who fares far better with the ladies than Stuart or Wade.

Once Upon A Time, season premiere at 8pm on ABC

– To ensure that no one in fairytale land—especially Snow White—had any more “happily ever afters,” Evil Queen Regina cast a curse which trapped the fairy tale characters, frozen in time, and brought them into our modern world. Although still alive, they had no knowledge of their former selves and were sleepwalking through life—ageless—for 28 years, until a savior arrived in the form of Emma Swan. Unbeknownst to Emma, she was the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming, who had whisked her out of Fairy Tale Land and into our world as an infant to save her from The Curse. When Emma’s 10-year-old son, Henry—whom she had given up for adoption years earlier—appeared on her doorstep with a book of fairy tales and a wild story about how Emma was the progeny of fairy tale characters trapped in a town called Storybrooke, she thought he was crazy. But curiosity got the better of her, and when she brought Henry back to the town—where Regina, ever the control freak, had made herself mayor and was also Henry’s adoptive mother—Emma soon discovered that Storybrooke was more than it seemed. Over time she came to believe the stories were true, began to see cracks in the curse, and was finally able to break it. Reality and myth were merged as the fairy tale characters began awakening, once The Curse was lifted, and remembered who they were in the season one finale. But to their dismay they were not transported back to fairy tale land. And to make matters worse, Rumplestiltskin—aka Mr. Gold—in an effort to gain the upper hand in his power struggle with Regina, introduced magic into the town. In fairy tales magic has its place, but in our world it can have unfathomable consequences. Now the fairy tale characters must contend with magic in their quest to find a way home, as new fairy tale characters are revealed, old acquaintances are revisited, and some we had come to believe could be trusted will turn against their own kind.

The Amazing Race, season premiere at 8pm on CBS

– The nine-time Emmy Award-winner for best reality-competition series hosted by eight-time Emmy Award-winner Phil Keoghan is a known as television’s most compelling and exciting race around the world. Entering its 21st season, the show pits 11 teams, each comprised of two members, against each other on a trek around the world for approximately 25 days. At every destination, each team must compete in a series of challenges, some mental and some physical, and only when the tasks are completed will they learn of their next location. Teams who are the farthest behind will gradually be eliminated as the contest progresses, with the first team to arrive at the final destination winning $1 million. This season’s group—featuring Chippendale’s dancers, a double amputee who’s also a snowboarding champ, and monster-truck drivers—will travel to nine countries including Indonesia, China, and France.

Call the Midwife, series premiere at 8pm on PBS

Call the Midwife is a moving and intimate insight into the colorful world of midwifery and family life in 1950’s East London. We are introduced to the community through the eyes of young nurse Jenny Lee as she arrives at Nonnatus House to live and work as a midwife alongside an Order of Nuns. As Jenny comes to terms with her new life, we meet some phenomenal people who prove that their warmth, resilience and determination are to be admired beyond measure. At the heart of this world are the Sisters of St. Raymond Nonnatus who have been active in the East End as Anglican nursing nuns since the beginning of the 20th century. The Sisters and the midwives of Nonnatus House carry out many nursing duties across the community. However, with between 80 and 100 babies being born each month in Poplar alone, their primary work is to help bring safe childbirth to women in the area and to look after their countless newborns.

The Simpsons, season premiere at 8pm on FOX

– Now the longest-running scripted show in television history, The Simpsons immediately struck a chord with viewers across the country more than 20 years ago as it poked fun at itself and everything in its wake. With its subversive humor and delightful wit, the series – now entering its 24th season – had made an inedible imprint on American pop culture, and the family members have become television icons. In the season 24 premiere, America’s favorite Midwestern family travels to New York City to track down Bart’s long-lost love (guest voice Zooey Deschanel). Other upcoming adventures this season include Grampa (Don Castellaneta) escaping from his retirement home; Homer finding out his bowling buddy (guest voice Steve Carrell) is an accountant for the mob; and Bart discovering the cool new neighbors’ son (guest voice Patton Oswalt) isn’t as cool as he appears to be.

Bob’s Burgers, season premiere at 8:30pm on FOX

– The animated comedy Bob’s Burgers returns for a well-done third season. The series follows the ups and downs of Bob (H. Jon Benjamin), who runs Bob’s Burgers with the help of his wife and their three kids. Bob has big ideas about burgers, but his family falls short on service and sophistication. Despite the greasy counters, lousy location and dearth of customers, Bob and his family are determined to make every “Grand Re-Re-Re-opening” a success. This season, Bob’s eccentric landlord Mr. Fischoeder (guest voice Kevin Kline) purchases a mechanical shark that threatens the town’s safety; the kids unwittingly get jobs working for a pair of married pot farmers; and Louise has an identity crisis when a bully steals her bunny ears.

Family Guy, season premiere at 9pm on FOX

– Entering its tenth season, Sunday-night staple Family Guy continues to entertain fans with its outrageous humor, cutting-edge animation and epic episodes. Since its debut, the show has reached cult status among fans, and its breakout star, a talking baby, has become one of the greatest TV villains of all time. The show follows the adventures of an endearingly ignorant dad, Peter Griffin (Seth MacFarlane), and his hilariously odd family of middle-class New Englanders in Quahog, RI. Lois (Alex Borstein) is Peter’s wife, a stay at home mom with no patience for her family’s antics. Then there are their kids: 17-year-old Meg (Mila Kunis) is a social outcast and the Griffin family punching bag; 13-year-old Chris (Seth Green) is a socially awkward teen who doesn’t have a clue about the opposite sex; and 1-year-old Stewie (MacFarlane) is a diabolically clever baby whose burgeoning sexuality is very much a work in progress. Rounding out the Griffin household is Brian (MacFarlane), the family dog, a member of Mensa with a penchant for dry martinis and dumb blondes.

The Good Wife, season premiere at 9pm on CBS

The Good Wife is an Emmy-nominated drama starring Emmy Award winner Julianna Margulies as a wife and mother who boldly assumes full responsibility for her family and re-enters the workforce after her husband’s very public sex and political corruption scandal lands him in jail. Pushing aside the betrayal and crushing public humiliation caused by her husband, Peter, Alicia Florrick started over by pursuing her original career as a defense attorney. Now a senior associate at a prestigious Chicago law firm, she joined her longtime friend, former law school classmate and firm partner Will Gardner, with whom she had a steamy romance last season. Alicia found an ally and a friend in Kalinda, the firm’s tough and mysterious in-house investigator, until Alicia discovered Kalinda had slept with Peter during his first term as State’s Attorney and Kalinda has been trying to make it up to Alicia ever since. Gaining confidence every day, Alicia transforms herself from embarrassed politician’s scorned wife to resilient career woman, especially for the sake of providing a stable home for her teenage children Zach and Grace. Season 4 will find the firm in serious financial trouble (cue recurring guest star Nathan Lane as its appointed trustee in the premiere), Alicia struggling to decide how much she and the kids can be used in Peter’s (Chris Noth) gubernatorial campaign, and Kalinda (Archie Panjaba) pushing the envelope of sex on network TV when her dangerous estranged husband Nick (Marc Warren), reenters the picture.

Dexter, season premiere at 9pm on Showtime

– He’s smart, he’s good looking, and he’s got a great sense of humor. He’s Dexter Morgan (Michael C. Hall), everyone’s favorite serial killer. As a Miami forensics expert, he spends his days solving crimes, and nights committing them. But Dexter lives by a strict code of honor that is both his saving grace and lifelong burden. Torn between his deadly compulsion and his desire for true happiness, Dexter is a man in profound conflict with the world and himself. Last season Dexter stalked the Doomsday Killer, a vicious, deluded, religious fanatic who displayed his victims in grisly, Biblical-themed tableaux. Debra catching Dex mid-murder was only the beginning. If you were frustrated by the Showtime drama’s wonky sixth season, the intense fall premiere just might win you back as Lt. Debra Morgan (Jennifer Carpenter) starts to piece together her brother Dexter’s secrets. Season 7 also introduces a mysterious woman (Chuck’s Yvonne Strahovski) who helps Miami Metro with a case, and a Ukranian crime lord (Rome’s Ray Stevenson) who’s heading toward a “big showdown” with Dexter. But the real fireworks will come from Deb and Dex’s seemingly impossible new relationship.

Revenge, season premiere at 9pm on ABC

– ABC’s hit primetime soap drama is back on a new night with something to prove. Wealth, beauty and status define the people in the Hamptons, but one woman is willing to destroy everyone for the sake of revenge. Last season, Emily Thorne (Emily Van Camp) was the new rich girl in town. But the truth is that Emily wasn’t exactly new to the neighborhood. In fact, this was once her old neighborhood, until something bad happened that ruined her family and their reputation. Emily, who is in fact Amanda Clarke, is the daughter of convicted terrorist David Clarke. The real Amanda (not to be confused with fauxmanda aka the real Emily Thorne) has returned to her childhood home in the Hamptons to seek vengeance on behalf of her now-deceased father against the people that framed him: the rich and powerful Grayson family and all their accomplices. In the (literally) explosive season one finale, Charlotte Grayson overdosed on prescription pills after learning her mother, Grayson matriarch Victoria (the brilliant Madeleine Stowe), presumably perished in a plane crash orchestrated by her estranged husband Conrad on her way to testify against him. Revenge picks up eight weeks later, at the start of the Hamptons’ summer season. Like last fall’s, the premiere will flash-forward to a dramatic and terrifying event that the first half of season 2 will work toward. Creator Mike Kelley promises we’ll get answers to burning questions regarding the fates of in-peril characters Charlotte, Victoria, and Lydia (who was also onboard the plane).

American Dad, season premiere at 9:30pm on FOX

– This animated comedy from Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane follows staunch GOP supporter and CIA agent Stan Smith (Seth MacFarlane) and the misadventures of his unconventional family in Langley Falls, VA. The series returns for an eighth season this fall. After seven seasons, this Sunday-night staple is still showing us new sides to its characters. In the premiere, we discover Hayley’s (Rachel MacFarlane) musical talents when she becomes the house singer in the bar Roger opens in the attic. Other highlights this season will include cameos by Rupert Grint, Community’s Alison Brie, Castle’s Nathan Fillion, and Mad Men’s Jon Hamm. Fans can also look forward to the show’s most warped Christmas episode yet: Danny Glover will guest as Krampus, the mythical creature who, according to Germanic legend, kidnaps naughty children. But this one sings! (Charles Bradley provides the singing voice.)

666 Park Avenue, season premiere at 10pm on ABC

– What would you do to have everything you desire? Step inside 666 Park Avenue, New York’s most seductive address. We all have some burning needs, desires and ambitions. For the residents of The Drake, the premier apartment building on Manhattan’s Upper East Side, these will all be met – for a price – courtesy of the building’s mysterious owner, Gavin Doran (Terry O’Quinn). But be careful what you wish for, because the price you have to pay is your soul. When Jane Van Veen (Rachael Taylor, Grey’s Anatomy) and Henry Martin (Dave Annable), an idealistic young couple from the Midwest, arrive in New York City, the glamorous center of industry and media, they are offered the opportunity to manage the historic Drake. Jane, a small town girl with big ambitions, always knew she wanted to be an architect. Henry, a member of the Mayor’s staff, is grounded, intelligent and tenacious. They are lured by the intoxicating lifestyle of New York’s wealthy elite. Gavin, who has many skeletons in his own closet, is at the height of his world and commands the dark power of The Drake. Olivia (Vanessa Williams), his beautiful but enigmatic, supportive wife, wears her elegance, wealth and position in society as armor… but cracks will slowly be revealed. Jane and Henry not only fall prey to the machinations of Gavin and Olivia, but unwittingly live in the dark embrace of the building’s supernatural forces which endanger the lives of its residents. Sexy, enticing and captivating, home to an epic struggle of good versus evil, The Drake maintains a dark hold over all of its tenants in this new, chilling drama, tempting them through their ambitions and desires.

Homeland, season premiere at 10pm on Showtime

– The Emmy award winning series for best drama, best drama actor and best drama actress enters its second season with much well-deserved buzz and anticipation. M.I.A. in Afghanistan for eight years and subjected to unthinkable torture at the hands of al-Qaeda, Marine Sgt. Nicholas Brody (Emmy winner Damian Lewis) finally came home, was declared a national hero, and is even being prepped for a political career. CIA officer Carrie Mathison (Emmy winner Claire Danes) believes he has been turned and become part of a plot to be carried out on American soil. But the volatile Carrie has some demons of her own as she tries to prove her theories are real and not a figment of her wild imagination, which is aggravated by her bipolar disorder. At the end of last season, Brody’s failed terrorist attack (thanks to a malfunctioning explosive vest) confirmed Carrie was right but without any evidence to expose Brody as a terrorist, his political career is on the rise and Carrie may be out of a job. In the season two premiere, an asset from Carrie’s former life comes in from the cold, and Brody discovers that Abu Nazir may not be content with his nonviolent approach to affecting change in American foreign policy.

The Mentalist, season premiere at 10pm on CBS

– The crime drama stars Golden Globe Award nominee Simon Baker as Patrick Jane, an independent consultant with the California Bureau of Investigation (CBI), who has a remarkable track record for solving serious crimes by using his razor sharp skills of observation. Within the Bureau, Jane is notorious for his blatant lack of protocol and his semi-celebrity past as a psychic medium, whose paranormal abilities he now admits he feigned. Jane’s role in cracking a series of tough, high-profile cases is greatly valued by his fellow agents; however, no-nonsense Senior Agent Teresa Lisbon alternates between reluctantly acknowledging Jane’s usefulness and blasting him for his theatrics, narcissism and dangerous lack of boundaries. Lisbon’s team includes agents Kimball Cho, Wayne Rigsby and Grace Van Pelt, who all think Jane’s a loose cannon but admire his charm and knack for clearing cases. With the crime drama switching to a new night for its fifth season, its basically a new start for the show. There will be major developments in Patrick Jane’s (Simon Baker) quest to nab Red John, the serial killer who murdered his family (although in the season’s second episode, Jane will meet a girl who claims to be his dead daughter). Jane and his CBI cohorts are forced to collaborate with a team of FBI agents, led by Rome’s Polly Walker. Red John’s lackey Lorelei Martins (Emmanuelle Chriqui)—introduced in last season’s finale—will stick around for several episodes as a foil, possible informant, and risky love interest for Jane, much to the chagrin of Agent Lisbon (Robin Tunney).

Sunday, September 25th

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, season premiere at 7pm on ABC

– The tearjerker series that helps create dream homes for the poor and good-hearted returns for another riveting season. We don’t know about you, but it is what’s lurking behind that big bus which keeps us absolutely riveted from week-to-week: a house pimped out to the extreme. It’s extremely uplifting, as the renovated home always belongs to a deserving family. It’s extreme transformation. And it’s extremely community-oriented. You’ll see dingy kitchens get completely tricked out, spa-inspired bathrooms built where icky ones once were, and olympic-sized swimming pools installed in what were once shabby overgrown yards. It’s stuff we know you’d want at your own pad—and then some. And Ty and his crew do it from the ground up, adding five-star luxuries and the occasional theme park attraction. Before you start getting all jealous, the lucky homeowners always have a heartening back-story: Heroes, community leaders, and a plethora of inspirational families are truly the heart and soul of the show. There’s that saying, “home is where the heart is,” and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition puts the heart right where it belongs.

The Amazing Race, season premiere at 8pm on CBS

– The hit reality competition series is an eight-time Emmy Award-winning reality series hosted by Emmy Award- nominated host Phil Keoghan, which pits 11 teams, each comprised of two members, against each other on a trek around the world for approximately 25 days. At every destination, each team must compete in a series of challenges, some mental and some physical, and only when the tasks are completed will they learn of their next location. Teams who are the farthest behind will gradually be eliminated as the contest progresses, with the first team to arrive at the final destination winning $1 million.

The Simpsons, season premiere at 8pm on FOX

– The longest running scripted show on television exploded into a cultural phenomenon in 1990 and has remained one of the most groundbreaking and innovative entertainment franchises. Matt Groening created the iconic family consisting of Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie.

The Cleveland Show, season premiere at 8:30pm on FOX

– The animated comedy series is a spin-off of the mega-hit Family Guy starring the “happy mustached face” of Cleveland Brown (Mike Henry) and his family and friends living in his hometown of Stoolbend, Virginia. The Cleveland Show follows the Brown-Tubbs blended family headed by Cleveland and his sassy high-school-sweetheart-turned-second-wife Donna (Sanaa Lathan). The rest of the household includes Donna’s boy-crazy teenage daughter, Roberta; the 5-year-old with an old soul Rallo (Henry); and the lovable but not-so-bright Cleveland Jr. Rounding out the clan are Cleveland’s friends and neighbors, including loudmouth redneck Lester (Richardson) and his weighty wife, Kendra; talking bear Time (creator Seth MacFarlane) and his talking bear wife, Arianna (guest voice Arianna Huffington); vertically challenged Holt (Jason Sudeikis); and Holt’s gay best friend, Terry (Sudeikis). In the third season, the family gets a new neighbor; Donna is reunited with her long-lost mother; Cleveland Jr. joins the church choir and finds religion, a girlfriend and possibly a wife; Cleveland discovers a conspiracy behind pop music; and Cleveland’s most embarrassing secrets are revealed to the world.

Boardwalk Empire, season premiere at 9pm on HBO

– From Martin Scorsese and the writer of The Sopranos Terence Winter comes this critically-acclaimed and high-budgeted HBO period drama series set in Atlantic City at the dawn of Prohibition when the sale of alcohol became illegal and created opportunities for corrupt men to become filthy rich. Everything is for sale in America in the 1920s. Atlantic City is “The World’s Playground,” a place where rules don’t apply. For a few dollars, a working man can get away and live like a king—legally or illegally. The undisputed ruler of Atlantic City is the town’s Treasurer, Enoch “Nucky” Thompson (Steve Buscemi), a political fixer and backroom dealer who is equal parts politician and gangster and equally comfortable in either role. Along with his brother Elias, the town’s Sheriff, and a crew of Ward Bosses and local thugs, Nucky carves out a niche for himself as the man to see for any illegal alcohol. The moody drama picked up many awards at the Golden Globes for its freshman season but lost steam at the Emmy’s this fall despite being nominated for 18 awards. When the second season opens, the year is 1921 and Nucky will face consequences for tampering with the election results in the season finale.

Desperate Housewives, season premiere at 9pm on ABC

– The seventh and final season of the primetime soap opera starring a group of wealthy Desperate Housewives promises to pull out all the stops and come full circle by returning to the original plot line of Mary Alice’s suicide. In the town of Fairview there’s a street called Wisteria Lane; a peaceful cul-de-sac with manicured lawns and beautiful houses. It’s a place where you know all your neighbors and your neighbors know all about you. It’s the perfect suburban fantasy. But, behind every picket fence there are secrets. And, in every seemingly happy home, you’ll find jealousy, lust, passion, and sometimes…murder. In the season finale, Gaby’s abusive stepfather tracked her down to satisfy his perverted desires but thankfully Carlos saved her by knocking him over the head. However, that blow proved to be fatal and now they had a corpse on their hands right as their dinner party was set to begin. Gaby’s trio of best friends/neighbors arrived to find the dead body and decided to help conceal the crime before their significant others, including Bree’s detective boyfriend, made the discovery themselves. This season, the four housewives and Carlos will have to deal with the guilt and anxiety that comes from hiding a murder.

Family Guy, season premiere at 9pm on FOX

– Entering its ninth season, Seth MacFarlane’s brainchild continues to entertain fans with its outrageous humor, cutting-edge animation and epic episodes. Since its debut, the show has reached cult status among fans, and its breakout star, a talking baby, has become one of the greatest TV villains of all time. Family Guy has racked up numerous awards, including an Emmy nomination for Outstanding Comedy Series, only the second animated series in television history to be honored with such a distinction. The show follows the adventures of an endearingly ignorant dad, Peter Griffin (Seth MacFarlane), and his hilariously odd family of middle-class New Englanders in Quahog, Rhode Island. Lois (Alex Borstein) is Peter’s wife, a stay at home mom with no patience for her family’s antics. Then there are their kids: 17-year-old Meg (Mila Kunis) is a social outcast and the Griffin family punching bag; 13-year-old Chris (Seth Green) is a socially awkward teen who doesn’t have a clue about the opposite sex; and 1-year-old Stewie (MacFarlane) is a diabolically clever baby whose burgeoning sexuality is very much a work in progress. Rounding out the Griffin household is Briar (MacFarlane), the family dog, a member of Mensa with a penchant for dry martinis and dumb blondes. Next season, Peter befriends Ryan Reynolds (guest-voicing as himself), the Griffins struggle to stay grounded after winning the lottery, Meg falls for an Amish boy and Stewie gets behind the wheel to take the family car for a spin. Then, on Meg’s 18th birthday, Quagmire moves in for the kill, and Peter tries to put an end to the relationship. Finally, Brian and Stewie travel back in time to the very first episode of the series.

The Good Wife, season premiere at 9pm on CBS

– The hit drama stars Emmy Award winner Julianna Margulies as a wife and mother who boldly assumes full responsibility for her family and re-enters the workforce after her husband’s very public sex and political corruption scandal lands him in jail. Pushing aside the betrayal and crushing public humiliation caused by her husband, Peter, Alicia Florrick starts over by pursuing her original career as a defense attorney. As a junior associate at a prestigious Chicago law firm, she joins her longtime friend, former law school classmate and firm partner Will Gardner, who is interested in rekindling their former relationship. The firm’s top litigator and other partner, Diane Lockhart, likes Alicia’s work and her connections so she and Will award her with a full-time associate position following a trial period. Alicia beat out Cary Agos, a clever young attorney who takes a job in the state’s attorney’s office, now bitter and vengeful. Alicia finds an ally and a friend in Kalinda, the firm’s tough and mysterious in-house investigator. Gaining confidence every day, Alicia transforms herself from embarrassed politician’s scorned wife to resilient career woman, especially for the sake of providing a stable home for her children, 14-year-old Zach and 13-year-old Grace. At the end of last season, Peter won the race for State’s Attorney on the same night that Alicia discovered he had slept with Kalinda when she worked for him at the State’s Attorney’s office. Alicia kicked Peter out of the house and started up a heated romantic relationship with her longtime love interest and current boss Will.

American Dad, season premiere at 9:30pm on FOX

– The Emmy-nominated animated series that follows staunch GOP supporter and CIA agent Stan Smith (voiced by creator Seth MacFarlane) and the misadventures of his unconventional family in Langley Falls, VA returns for a seventh term. Stan’s blissfully unaware wife, Francine (Wendy Schaal), has an unfaltering loyalty that allows her to turn a blind eye toward Stan’s unabashed arrogance. Meanwhile, Stan constantly butts heads with his 18-year-old left-wing activist daughter, Hayley (Rachael MacFarlane), who knows just how to push her father’s buttons whether it’s by helping the homeless, demanding women’s rights or supporting gun control. Hayley’s 14-year-old brother is the geeky yet cocky Steve (Scott Grimes), a kid who spends his time playing Dungeons & Dragons and obsessing about the opposite sex. The Smith cabinet is rounded out by two rather unconventional members. There’s the sassy and sarcastic space alien, Roger (Seth MacFarlane), who lives in the attic and loves to play dress-up; and Klaus (Dee Bradley Baker), an attention-starved goldfish with the brain of a German guy who always throws in his two cents regardless of whether anyone is listening.

Pan Am, series premiere at 10pm on CBS

– ABC’s new period drama about the luxurious Pan Am Airways in the 1960s stars the wonderful Christina Ricci as a stewardess for the posh airline during a time when flying was the coolest thing to do. Welcome to 1963: a time when only a lucky few could take flight, experience a global adventure or gain a front-row seat to history. Those lucky few flew Pan Am, the largest, most prestigious airline in the world. More than Coca-Cola, Elvis Presley or the transistor, Pan Am exported American culture to the world abroad and brought that world back to American shores. The jet age has arrived and Pan Am’s Clipper Majestic is about to embark on its inaugural flight with Captain Dean Lowrey (Mike Vogel) at the helm. Dean, who has recently been made captain wouldn’t trade this moment for anything in the world. Step by step, Maggie Ryan (Christina Ricci) has climbed her way up to a better life, to greater opportunity. As Purser of Pan Am’s new Clipper Majestic, she’s at last riding high; determined not to fall. Kate Cameron (Kelli Garner) left her sheltered life in East Granby, Connecticut to brave the intrigue of a wide new world. Now, she must brave even more intrigue in becoming an international agent for the CIA. In running off on her wedding day, Kate’s sister, Laura Cameron (Margot Robbie), left her past and future, following her older sibling to the skies of Pan Am; a bold move, but one with serious personal consequences.

CSI: Miami, season premiere at 10pm on CBS

– Inspired by the crime procedural franchise CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, this Miami-themed spin-off follows a South Florida team of forensic investigators who use both cutting-edge scientific methods and old-fashioned police work to solve crimes. Horatio Caine, a former homicide detective, heads a group of investigators who work crimes amid the steamy tropical surroundings and cultural crossroads of Miami. His team includes Calleigh Duquesne, a bilingual Southern beauty with a specialty in ballistics; Eric Delko, an underwater recovery expert who knows all the twists and turns of the Florida waterways; and Ryan Wolfe, a former patrol officer who specializes in blood and trace evidence. Rounding out the team is Natalia Boa Vista, the enigmatic DNA specialist and Walter Simmons, who has transferred over from the night shift. Helping Horatio with cases is Det. Frank Tripp, a tough yet thorough police officer. Together, these investigators collect and analyze the evidence to solve the crimes and to avenge those who cannot speak for themselves – the victims.

Monday, September 26th

The Chew, series premiere at 1pm on ABC

– The new daytime talk show/cooking show The Chew celebrates and explores life through food, with a group of dynamic, engaging, fun, relatable co-hosts who serve up everything to do with food — from cooking and home entertaining to food trends, restaurants, holidays and more — all aimed at making life better, fuller and more fun.  It is broadcast live, weekdays, from New York City. The Chew stars Mario Batali, Michael Symon, Carla Hall, Clinton Kelly and Daphne Oz. Mario Batali is co-owner of 17 restaurants across the country, including his flagship New York City restaurant Babbo.  The former Iron Chef America star hosted a variety of shows for Food Network, including Ciao America and Molto Mario. Michael Symon is a star of the Food Network series Iron Chef America.  Symon is the owner of five restaurants, including the critically-acclaimed Lola and Lolita, cornerstones of his hometown’s dining scene in Cleveland, OH. Carla Hall is best known as a competitor on Bravo’s Top Chef, where she won over audiences with her fun catch phrase “Hootie Hoo” and philosophy to always cook with love. Clinton Kelly is a familiar face to fashionistas around the country as style host of the TLC series What Not to Wear. Daphne Oz is The Chew‘s fresh face of healthy living and resident practical tipster.  In 2006, she wrote her national bestseller The Dorm Room Diet, sharing the healthy lifestyle plan she developed at school that helped her permanently shed thirty pounds. Oz also helped to found HealthCorps, a non-profit organization that equips teenagers with educational information in the areas of nutrition, exercise and stress management.

Gossip Girl, season premiere at 8pm on The CW

– Our favorite Upper East Siders scattered around the world for one sizzling summer, the fifth season will reveal the souvenirs our sexy socialites have brought back home with them. Blair Waldorf (Leighton Meester) has spent a fabulous summer with her fiancé, Prince Louis (guest star Hugo Becker), in her future kingdom of Monaco. But when Blair returns home from the holiday, this Princess-to-be will quickly learn that planning a royal wedding can be a royal pain. And the fallout from Blair and Chuck’s (Ed Westwick) heartbreaking decision to let each other go isn’t making life easier. Meanwhile, Serena van der Woodsen (Blake Lively) scored the perfect summer job in sunny Los Angeles, working for an A-list director. Being in California has clearly allowed Serena to discover a new sense of purpose, but will the return of her cousin Charlie (Kaylee DeFer), in actuality a struggling actress Aunt Carol paid to impersonate her daughter, threaten to ruin everything? Only time will tell. Chuck Bass and Nate Archibald (Chace Crawford) enjoyed a hedonistic summer trip around the globe but, when they stop in Los Angeles to visit Serena, things quickly spin out of control. Nate falls into bed with a sexy and mysterious older woman, Diana Payne (guest star Elizabeth Hurley), who has more in store for him than he knows. And a seemingly carefree Chuck is chasing down exotic adrenaline rushes that might put his life in real danger.

Terra Nova, series premiere at 8pm on FOX

– From executive producer Steven Spielberg et al his friends comes this new CGI action series that can best be described as a time-traveling “Jurassic Park” with crappier special effects. This so-called “epic family adventure 85 million years in the making” follows an ordinary family on an incredible journey back in time to prehistoric Earth as a small part of a daring experiment to save the human race. In the year 2149, the world is dying. The planet is overdeveloped and overcrowded, with the majority of plant and animal life extinct. The future of mankind is in jeopardy, and its only hope for survival is in the distant past. When scientists unexpectedly discovered a fracture in time that made it possible to construct a portal into primeval history, the bold notion was born to resettle humanity in the past – a second chance to rebuild civilization and get it right this time. The series centers on the Shannon family as they join the Tenth Pilgrimage of settlers to Terra Nova, the first colony established in this beautiful yet foreboding land.

Hart of Dixie, series premiere at 9pm on The CW

– Fast-talking New Yorker and brand new doctor Zoe Hart (Rachel Bilson) has it all figured out – after graduating top of her class from medical school, she’ll follow in her father’s footsteps and become a cardio-thoracic surgeon. But when her dreams fall apart, Zoe decides to accept an offer from a stranger, Dr. Harley Wilkes, to work with him at his small practice in Bluebell, Alabama. Zoe arrives in this small Gulf Coast town only to find that Harley has passed away and left his half of the medical practice to her in his will. She quickly finds that Southern hospitality isn’t always so hospitable – the other doctor in town, Brick Breeland, is less than pleased to be sharing the practice with this young outsider, and his daughter, Lemon, is a Southern belle whose sweet disposition turns sour when she meets Zoe. Zoe’s only allies are the mayor, former football star Lavon Hayes, her bad-boy neighbor Wade Kinsella, and handsome lawyer George Tucker – who just happens to be Lemon’s fiance. Zoe is out of her element and ready to pack her bags, but a surprise visit by her snobby New York mother leads to Zoe’s decision to stay in Bluebell for a while, discovering small-town life and a side of herself she hadn’t known was there.

Mike & Molly, season premiere at 9:30pm on CBS

– The sophomore comedy for which star Melissa McCarthy took home the Best Actress in a Comedy Series Emmy win this fall is about a working class Chicago couple who find love at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting. Officer Mike Biggs (Billy Gardell) is a good-hearted cop who sincerely wants to lose weight. Mike’s partner, Officer Carl McMillan, is a thin, fast-talking wise-guy who, despite his teasing, encourages Mike on his road to slimness and romance. While speaking at an O.A. meeting, Mike meets Molly Flynn (McCarthy), an instantly likeable fourth-grade teacher with a good sense of humor about her curves. For Molly, focusing on smart choices isn’t easy while living with her sexy older sister, Victoria, and their mother, Joyce (Swoosie Kurtz), both of whom flaunt their effortless figures while indulging their healthy appetites right in front of her. Mike also faces temptation at the diner he and Carl frequent, where they’ve become friends with a Senegalese waiter, Samuel, to whom dieting is a foreign concept. Mike and Molly found each other in the most unexpected of places. Now, they’re about to find out where their quest for companionship will take them.

Wednesday, September 28th

Suburgatory, series premiere at 8:30pm on ABC

– This ABC Family-type comedy series tries to fill the hole in ABC’s Wednesday night comedy block following The Middle and leading in to Modern Family. Single father George Altman is doing his best to raise his sixteen-year-old daughter Tessa in the big city. When he discovers a box of condoms in her bedroom, though, he decides the time has come to move her to a more wholesome and nurturing environment: the suburbs. But behind the beautiful homes and perfect lawns lurk the Franken-moms, spray tans, nose jobs, and Red Bull-guzzling teens who have nothing in common with Tessa. It’s a whole new world, one that makes George wonder if they haven’t jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire. With the help of suburbanites like old college friend Noah, flirty Alpha mom Dallas and awkward classmate Lisa, George and Tessa slowly learn to navigate the pitfalls of suburban life. With time, they might even find that it isn’t so bad. Once you get past the plastic smell.

Happy Endings, season premiere at 9:30pm on ABC

– Forget who gets to keep the ring — when a couple splits, the real question is, who gets to keep the friends? In this modern comedy, a couple’s break-up will complicate all of their friends’ lives and make everyone question their choices. When life throws you for a curve, hold on tight to the people you love. Every circle of friends has someone who’s the gravitational center. For years, perfect couple Dave (Flash Forward’s Zachary Knighton) and Alex (24’S Elisha Cuthbert) drew their friends in and held them together. Now that they’ve split, does this group have the stuff to stay together? Or do Max, Brad, Jane and Penny have to choose sides? Suddenly every event is a negotiation… like, who gets to go on the annual ski trip? There are a lot of big questions to be answered, but this group has been together so long, somehow, little by little, they’ll figure out how to hold on, even though their center is split up. It helps that Dave and Alex have agreed to stay friends. But there will definitely be other complications down the road. This show isn’t afraid to ask the embarrassing personal questions that inevitably arise in every long-term, close-knit group of friends.

The Real World: San Diego, season premiere at 10pm on MTV

– MTV’s less trashy and non-guido original reality series that spawned Jersey Shore is still on the air for its bagillionth season. Seven strangers find themselves in San Diego and though the locale may be sun-soaked and beachy, there are storms brewing. It’s a three month journey through the lives of Ashley, Alexandra, Frank, Nathan, Priscilla, Sam and Zach as they get to know, not just each other, but who they really are themselves. Living in the seaside community of La Jolla, the roommates must learn to navigate the waters, both in and outside the house. The diverse group includes a Zimbabwean Gymnast, a Professional Football Player, a Nuclear Engineer, a Drag King, a Model, a Bisexual Recent Graduate, and a San Diego Native who, as the youngest in the house, may have something to teach her roommates yet. The endless summer awaits.

Thursday, September 29th

How To Be a Gentleman, series premiere at 8:30pm on CBS

– This new comedy series inspired by the book of the same name is about the unlikely friendship between a traditional, refined writer and an unrefined personal trainer. Andrew Carlson (creator David Hornsby who doubles as executive producer, he’s also the EP of the brilliant and undercompensated It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia) is an etiquette columnist whose devotion to ideals from a more civilized time has lead to a life detached from modern society. Infectiously optimistic, Bert Lansing (Entourage’s Kevin Dillon) is a reformed “bad boy” from Andrew’s past who inherited a fitness center, but can still be rude, loud and sloppy. When Andrew’s editor, Jerry (Dave Foley), tells him to put a modern, sexy twist on his column or be fired, he hires Bert as a life coach in the hopes of learning to be less “gentle man” and more “real man.” Andrew’s mom, Diane (Nancy Lenehan), and his bossy sister, Janet (Mary Lynn Rajskub), support the plan, as would Janet’s husband, Mike (Rhys Darby), if he was allowed to have an opinion. Though Andrew and Bert’s views may be centuries apart, they may find they’re each other’s missing link.

Private Practice, season premiere at 10pm on ABC

– The hit Grey’s Anatomy spin-off from creator Shonda Rhimes follows renowned neonatal surgeon Dr. Addison Montgomery as she relocates to Los Angeles following her failed marriage to Derek Shepherd and joins a private practice run by her best friends from college that treats patients in all aspects of their medical care. Having made a home in LA and among her friends at the practice, Addy may have at last found true love with fellow doctor and longtime friend Sam Bennett. But just as things have become romantic for the two of them, their friends question if their relationship, so complicated by the presence of Sam’s ex—Addison’s best friend, Naomi—has a chance. Violet and Pete are finally married and taking care of their child together. At long last, through numerous bumps in the road, break-ups and make-ups, Charlotte and Cooper are engaged to be married, but the trip to the altar may not be an easy one. Charlotte didn’t want to tell Cooper about her traumatic rape last season but it all came out and when Charlotte finally decided to press charges, it was too late. Charlotte finally got some form of justice against the man who raped her when he was stabbed by his girlfriend in self-defense. Her telling the authorities about almost getting killed finally led to Lee’s arrest, but before this, he was saved at the surgeon’s slab with Charlotte granting the procedure in spite of her having been victimized by him. In the season finale it was decided that they would close down Oceanside Wellness and open another practice; and Naomi decided it would be best to move to New York to be with Gabriel. Benjamin Bratt will join the cast as a series regular for the fifth season as fertility specialist Jake Reilly who sparks up a prohibited romance with Addy behind Sam’s back.

Saturday, October 1st

Bedlam, series premiere at 10pm on BBC America

Bedlam is a ghostly series set around Bedlam Heights — a hip, newly renovated apartment building. Those who live there think they have the best address in the world, but little do they know their new home has a harrowing past. The conversion of Bedlam Heights from a former insane asylum has awakened the ghosts of its dark and violent past. These spirits wish to reclaim what’s theirs and seek revenge on those who have wronged them. Kate (Charlotte Salt, The Tudors), a direct descendant of the people who ran the former asylum for generations, lives and works in Bedlam Heights. Her father, Warren (Hugo Speer, Skins), still owns the old family property, and Kate is helping him fill the remaining vacant apartments. She shares her apartment with roommates Ryan (Will Young, Skins) and Molly (Ashley Madekwe, Secret Diary of a Call Girl), but only with the unexpected arrival of Kate’s adopted cousin, Jed (Theo James, Downton Abbey) — a troubled man with a history of mental illness who sees ghosts and visions of the past — are they able to uncover the terrifying secrets of Bedlam Heights. The hauntings that follow prove that sometimes when you scratch away the surface, things aren’t always what they seem.

Sunday, September 26th

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, 2-hour season premiere at 7pm on ABC

– This feel-good, tearjerker (at least for me, every single episode without fail) of a reality series will be undergoing its own makeover in season 8. No longer will hottie host Ty Pennington arrive at a family’s home to announce that they’ve been selected. Instead, he will surprise the family when they least expect it, like on a family outing to the Yankees game. They will also be expanding their definition of “home” to include schools, group homes, and community organizations. In the 2-hour season premiere, the team is joined by the kid stars of Modern Family to help renovate the building for Boys Hope Girls Hope in Baltimore. Other cool celebrity guests helping out this season include Cedric the Entertainer, Shaq, Raven-Symone, and Kristin Chenoweth, the last of whom will perform a Broadway number during a demolition—I am so there.

The Simpsons, season premiere at 8pm on FOX

– Now the longest-running comedy in television history, the hit animated comedy series immediately struck a chord with viewers across the country as it poked fun of itself and everything in its wake. With its subversive humor and delightful wit, the series has made an indelible imprint on American pop culture, and the family members have become television icons. In the season premiere, Lisa goes to a performing-arts camp that becomes “Elementary School Musical.” Glee’s Lea Michele, Cory Monteith, and Amber Riley guest star as fellow campers singing a version of “Good Vibrations.”

The Amazing Race, season premiere at 8:30pm on CBS

– Season 17’s Brook and Claire are already famous from the hilarious watermelon in the face mishap that went viral. The race around the world premieres with a 90-minute episode. The team that wins the first leg will receive “a real gamechanger” of a surprise, according to host Phil Keoghan. The new teams include a pair of YouTube sensations, home-shopping hosts, and Ivy Leage a cappella singers. They will be trotting the globe from Bangladesh to Ghana to the Arctic Circle, all new destinations for the show.

The Cleveland Show, season premiere at 8:30pm on FOX

– The Family Guy spin-off from creator Seth MacFarlane follows Peter Griffin’s soft- spoken neighbor Cleveland Brown as he and his son Cleveland Jr. relocate to Cleveland’s hometown of Stoolbend, VA to create a new family unit with his high school sweetheart and her two misbehaved children. Coming off a shaky start and mixed reviews, the show has found it’s groove and now features a promising list of guest stars, almost all musicians, for it’s sophomore season. The premiere episode features Kanye West voicing as 19-year-old Kenny West, an aspiring rapper who Cleveland takes under his wing, they write a song and West is signed to a record deal. Other artists appearing this season include T-Pain, will.i.am, and Justin Timberlake. Timberlake will be playing the gay fiancé of Cleveland’s friend/co-worker Henry as well as singing a ballad he co-produced about the last booger 5-year-old Rallo plans to eat. I can’t possibly pass up on that piece of musical genius, can you?

Desperate Housewives, season premiere at 9pm on ABC

– There is something to rejoice in the fact that comedy series Ugly Betty got cancelled and that is that Vanessa Williams makes the perfect addition as Wisteria Lane’s fifth housewife. After Dana Delaney’s Katherine had a mental breakdown, turned gay, and moved out of the cul-de-sac last season, there was a void in Wisteria Lane’s clique of frenemies. Williams plays glamorous socialite Renee Perry (Vanessa Williams) who is married to a Yankee, a player on the team not a Northerner, and also happens to be Lynette’s old college roommate. Perry strolls into the Lane in a limo and chatting on the phone. She’s bound to make waves with her nouveau-riche lifestyle and attitude that I’m sure Gaby will find great issue with, because they are so similar. Also bringing a good dose of drama this season is Mary Alice’s widower, the sketchy Paul who returns with his new wife Beth.

Family Guy, 1-hour season premiere at 9pm on FOX

– After a phenomenal season that continued to push the boundaries (the 150th episode entitled “Brian and Stewie” was a one-hour one-scene episode), the hit adult animated comedy series that satires American culture and society is back for more jabs. The season premiere is a murder mystery in Quahog and exec producer Steve Callaghan says they will kill off a few characters. Oh well, that only opens the door for some new ones to come in and spice things up in the quaint little Rhode Island town. After under attack this season is Santa Claus! The hour-long Christmas episode features Stewie vowing to travel to the North Pole to kill Mr. Claus after the local mall Santa leaves before the homicidal tot gets his turn. The episode also features four musical numbers—score!

Dexter, season premiere at 9pm on Showtime

– Last season ended with a crazy twist that seems impossible to top! In the dramatic season finale, Dexter (Michael C. Hall) finally killed the Trinity Killer (John Lithgow) and was feeling proud until he discovered that before he was offed, the Trinity Killer killed Dexter’s wife and left her in a bathtub next to her infant son, crying in a pool of Mommy’s blood. Gives me the chills just recounting it. This season, Dexter goes from happily married husband to guilt-ridden single dad. How will it affect his ability to maintain an average-guy facade while satisfying his need to kill? As Dexter’s secret life and new responsibilities threaten to overwhelm him, his ability to remain focused — and undetected — are being tested like never before.

Brothers & Sisters, season premiere at 10pm on ABC

– The adult family drama series is like that awkward family reunion, where everyone is airing their dirty secrets at the dinner table. The thing is, with the Walkers, they’re dropping these bombshells at every meal. The Walkers appear to be the perfect all-American family, but it’s up to matriarch Nora Walker (Sally Field) to hold everyone together as they cross paths with divorce, infidelity, addiction, war, politics, prejudice and death. This season, the producers aim to make more self-contained episodes. The cast has also been cut by three—Rob Lowe and Balthazar Getty are out, and after three episodes so is Emily VanCamp.  The action picks up a year after May’s car-crash cliff-hanger, as widow Kitty (Calista Flockhart) mulls a new career and a new man. Nora will land her own radio show called Ask Mom, as well as a man.

Bored to Death, season premiere at 10pm on HBO

– The dark comedy series follows the misadventures of Jonathan Ames (Jason Schwartzmann), a young Brooklyn writer who is feeling lost and down on his luck. Rather than face reality, Jonathan turns instead to this fantasies—moonlighting as a private detective—because he wants to a man of action like his heroes from the classic private detective novels. Meanwhile, Jonathan’s boss, the pot-loving magazine editor George (Ted Danson), is having a career crisis as he contemplates whether the printed word is still relevant in today’s culture. And in order to deal with his troubles, he smokes more pot…should be amusing. Zach Galifianakis (“The Hangover”) plays Jonathan’s best friend Ray, a talented but not-yet-financially-successful cartoonist. He’s Sancho Panza to Jonathan’s Don Quixote.

Undercover Boss, season premiere at 10pm on CBS

– The reality series follows high-level chief executives as they slip anonymously into the rank and file of their companies. The first season of the series, last year’s most watched new program, clearly resonated with Americans. As a result of the show’s popularity, the producers had to concoct new and imaginative wars to convince suspicious workers that they weren’t being filmed for a hit reality show. The show’s success also made it much easier to persuade more companies to participate since they truly believe it’s a valuable work experience that will significantly enhance a boss’s ability to lead successfully.

Sister Wives, series premiere at 10pm on TLC

– Nowadays there is a reality show about almost anything, and if a Mormon family with numerous wives makes for a hit HBO drama series, why can’t it be a reality series? And who better to exploit the unique and rather large families than TLC? Meet husband Kody Brown — along with his three wives: Meri, Janelle and Christine and their combined 13 children — and see how they attempt to navigate life as a “normal” family in a society that shuns their lifestyle. From their unconventional family structure and living arrangements to financial challenges, each half hour episode exposes the inner workings of a polygamist household, revealing the unexpectedly tight-knit and loving relationships between Kody’s wives. The series begins with Kody announcing to his three wives of 16 years that he is bringing a new wife and her three kids into the family. Bringing on a fourth wife could easily disrupt the balance, changing lives forever. The series chronicles the growing pains as Robyn and her kids assimilate into the family and the sister wives work through the insecurities and uncertainties that are inevitable to their chosen way of life. Sister Wives also captures the intense dynamics surrounding a man juggling three wives while attempting to keep it a secret from the outside world.

Eastbound & Down, season premiere at 10:30pm on HBO

– Arrogant, washed-up big league pitcher Kenny Powers (Danny McBride) thought he’d scored a shot at a comeback in the majors, but the offer turned out to be bogus. Now, having left his North Carolina life behind, he’s making a fresh start in a small Mexican town, and bless the locals with his awesomeness. Powers hooks up with a crappy south-of-the-border team, then finds a temporary fix for the hole in his heart left by April by falling for a local hottie named Vida.

Monday, September 27th

Sesame Street, season premiere at 7am on PBS

– Sesame Street’s 41st season is the subject of much controversy lately due to Katy Perry’s exposed cleavage during a musical number with Elmo. Well that skit was cut due to parents complaining it was inappropriate for young children, but other female celebrities guest starring this season include Amy Poehler and Kyra Sedgwick.

The Buried Life, season premiere at 10:30pm on MTV

– The docu-series about four cute boys on a mission to cross items off their bucket list began with a simple question: “What do you want to do before you die?” Out of it grew an inspirational TV show and a grassroots movement that has allowed viewers to live vicariously through four friends — Ben, Jonnie, Duncan and Dave — as they put themselves in the most incredible and unexpected situations while traveling the country trying to complete a list of “100 things they want to do before they die.” For every item they cross off their list, they help a perfect stranger accomplish one of their dreams. Season two of the series promises more elaborate capers and inspirational moments as people from around the world share their own lists and ask the guys for help. Crashing a parade, capturing a fugitive and raising $1,000,000 in a week, are just a few of the list items they will attempt to pull off. The guys will also try to help two sisters make an important motorbike journey across Florida to bury their father’s ashes, build a skate park for a community that has lost four teenagers to tragedy — and help a struggling rock band get signed to a record label.

Tuesday, September 28th

No Ordinary Family, series premiere at 8pm on ABC

– The Powells are about to go from ordinary to extraordinary. After 16 years of marriage, Jim (Michael Chiklis, The Shield Fantastic Four) feels disconnected from his workaholic wife, Stephanie (Julie Benz, Dexter), and two teenage children, Daphne (Kay Panabaker, Summerland) and JJ (Jimmy Bennett, Star Trek). To encourage family bonding time, Jim decides the family will join Stephanie on her business trip to South America. When their plane crashes into the Amazon River, they barely enjoy a moment to celebrate their survival before returning to the grind of everyday life. But they will soon realize that their lives have been forever changed. Each member of the family starts to show signs of new, unique and distinct super powers. For the Powells, embarking on a mission to understand their new abilities becomes the key to rebuilding their family life, as they learn what defines and unifies them. Despite the fact they can collectively lift a car, run at lightning speed, read your mind and calculate the dimensions of the Eiffel Tower — all before you say “superhero” – they are first and foremost an average family with everyday problems.

Stargate Universe, season premiere at 9pm on Syfy

– In 1994, mankind discovered a network of Stargates that took them to the farthest reaches of the universe and unlocked some of history’s greatest secrets. Since that time, they’ve carried us through travels to numerous planets and battles against relentless villains. They’ve brought to the surface the wonders of Atlantis and led us to conflict with the dreaded Wraith. Now, humanity is about to cross a new threshold with the activation of a new Stargate that links to incredible Ancient technology. A group of soldiers, scientists and civilians, fleeing an attack, find themselves stranded far from Earth on a mammoth Ancient ship known as the Destiny. They must live in the limbo of time and space, cling to the notion of hope, locked on an unknown course in search of home. Now the group’s fates lie at the mercy of the ship as they face the challenges of meeting the most basic needs of food, water and air. Through the danger and adventures, some will be revealed as heroes, some will be shown as villains…and some won’t make it out at all.

The Good Wife, season premiere at 10pm on CBS

– Last year’s critics’ pick for favorite new drama is back for a new season of tense legal and marital melodrama. Emmy Award winner Julianna Margulies stars as Alicia Florrick, a wife and mother who boldly assumes full responsibility for her family and re-enters the workforce after her husband’s very public sex and political corruption scandal lands him in jail. Pushing aside the betrayal and public humiliation caused by her husband, Peter, Alicia starts over by pursuing her original career as a defense attorney. As a junior associate at a prestigious Chicago law firm, she joins her longtime friend, former law school classmate and firm partner Will Gardner. Last season, Will and Alicia, who have been pining over each other since college, shared their first kiss followed by a shit ton of awkwardness. In the finale, we saw Alicia choosing to go stand with her hubby behind the podium over answering Will’s phone call, ouch. Well in the season premiere we find out that Will left a swoon-worthy message, which was promptly deleted by sketchy Eli. Also this season, Alicia’s gay brother visits and appears on YouTube saying that Peter is uncomfortable with gays, oh damn.

Wednesday, September 29th

Law & Order: Los Angeles, series premiere at 10pm on NBC

– In the wake of the original Law & Order’s retirement, they decided to relocate the show to Los Angeles and start all over again with another spin-off in the style of the CSI franchise with location-themed shows. The newest addition to the Law & Order brand, the crime procedural fuses classic ripped-from-the-headlines storytelling with the distinctive backdrop of LA – delving into the unique attitudes, cultures and crimes of the West Coast. As members of the Los Angeles Police Department’s elite Robbery Homicide Division, Detective Winters (Skeet Ulrich) is a straight-shooting ex-Marine with a clear-cut worldview as stubborn as he is, while TJ (Corey Stoll), who grew up the son of an Oscar-winning Polish cinematographer, knows too well the dark underside that is behind-the-scenes Hollywood. Deputy District Attorney Morales (Alfred Molina) is a sarcastic realist who believes moral righteousness is great in theory, but ineffective in a street fight. Though he knows how to manipulate both his public image and the behind-the-scenes politics, he’s still a killer in the courtroom who lives to see justice served.

Friday, October 1st

The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret, series premiere at 10pm on IFC

– Created, written by, and starring Arrested Development’s David Cross, the freshman comedy series follows the awkward misadventures of an American office temp and convenient liar named Todd Margaret. Margaret bluffs his way into a senior sales position heading up the London office for the new energy drink Thunder Muscle. Cross’ out-of-control farce reaches epic proportions when his character’s gaffes and misfortunes wreak havoc on the city of London. His antics are often fueled by Dave, (Blake Harrison), his mysteriously devious and sometimes useless assistant.  Complicating matters is Todd’s misplaced attempts to win the affection of Alice (Sharon Horgan), his uninterested UK love interest. The series also features fellow Arrested Development alum Will Arnett as Todd’s hard-ass, foul-mouthed boss. Amber Tamblyn also guest stars as Todd’s American “girlfriend.”