Tag Archive: Royal Pains


Sunday, June 3rd

Secret Millionaire, season premiere at 8pm on ABC

- Based on the hit UK series of the same name, each episode of Secret Millionaire follows one of America’s most successful business people for a week as they leave the comforts of home behind. They’ll keep their true identities hidden while living in some of the country’s most impoverished neighborhoods. Residing in local housing on welfare-level wages, these “secret millionaires” will try to find the most deserving people within the community. We’re talking about those selfless individuals who continually sacrifice everything to help anyone in need, and ultimately encourage others to do the same. Throughout this incredible experience, the millionaires will come face-to-face with some truly extraordinary people who put their own needs aside for the sake of others. At the end of the journey, they’ll reveal their true identity and donate their own money to these local heroes. It’s a life-changing moment you won’t want to miss.

The 2012 MTV Movie Awards, special awards show from 9 to 11pm on MTV

- The 2012 Movie Awards are heading back to California for another night of Golden Popcorn in the Golden State. The delightfully eccentric Russell Brand is sure to have plenty of shenanigans hidden up his sleeve so expect the unexpected. Actress Emma Stone will be honored with the first-ever “Trailblazer Award” following her fantastically successful year in “The Help” and “Crazy, Stupid, Love.” The Black Keys, Wiz Khalifa and fun will be performing.

Drop Dead Diva, season premiere at 9pm on Lifetime

- Lifetime’s critically acclaimed hit series returns for a fourth season with 13 new episodes. Joining the series’ roster of top name guest stars is Kim Kardashian (Keeping Up with the Kardashians), who makes her multiple episode debut in the season opener. The comedic drama tells the story of a shallow wannabe model named Deb who dies in a sudden accident only to find her soul resurfacing in the body of a brilliant, plus-size and recently deceased attorney, Jane (Brooke Elliott). The only people who know Deb is still alive in Jane’s body is her best friend/roommate Stacy and her guardian angel Fred. The hilarious Margaret Cho plays Jane’s loud assistant Teri. Carter MacIntyre (Undercovers) and Lex Medlin (Southland) join the ensemble cast as series regulars. Currently in production in Atlanta, season four begins with Jane (Elliott) and Owen (Medlin) enjoying a Roman Holiday in Italy while back at home the firm is on shaky ground under Kim’s (Levering) leadership. Teri (Cho) is dispatched to bring Jane home to take on a lucrative murder case while Grayson (Jackson Hurst) comes to terms with his new feelings for Jane. Meanwhile, following the devastating news of Grayson and Stacy (Bowlby) kissing in last season’s finale, Fred (Ben Feldman, Mad Men) moves on with a new girlfriend, leading Stacy to turn to famed relationship guru, Nikki LePree (Kardashian), for love advice.

The Glades, season premiere at 9pm on A&E

- It’s Season 3 of A&E’s crime procedural The Glades, starring Matt Passmore, Kiele Sanchez, Carlos Gomez and Michelle Hurd. Passmore stars as Jim Longworth, an attractive and brilliant Chicago homicide detective with a reputation for being difficult. When his captain wrongfully accuses him of sleeping with his wife and shoots him, he is exiled and forced to relocate. He lands in the sleepy, middle-of-nowhere town of Palm Glade, outside of the Florida Everglades where he’s surprised to discover murders keep piling up. Season 3 starts after Callie decides to stay in Palm Glade to be with Jim and their relationship is immediately put to the test when it proves more difficult to find work then she had imagined. Despite their love and support, big decisions weigh on them as they roll up their sleeves to make the day to day business of coming together as a couple work, creating new challenges that will test their commitment. Meanwhile, the Palm Glade substation gets shaken up when the FDLE sends Jennifer Starke, the beautiful, dynamic FDLE Bureau Chief to evaluate the substation’s track record of success and high rate of arrest, hoping to create a blueprint for the rest of the department. After a series of initial interviews, it becomes clear to Jennifer that their success is due to Longworth’s unorthodox style of investigation. In order to accomplish her goal, the Bureau Chief decides to take a more hands on approach in her evaluation, creating an interesting tension between the striking Bureau Chief and our lone wolf Detective Longworth.

Longmire, series premiere at 10pm on A&E

- A&E’s new contemporary crime thriller set in Big Sky country, is based on the Walt Longmire Mystery novels by best-selling author Craig Johnson. The series stars Australian actor Robert Taylor (“The Matrix”) as Walt Longmire, the charismatic, dedicated and unflappable sheriff of Absaroka County, Wyoming, along with Katee Sackhoff (Battlestar Gallactica), Lou Diamond Phillips (Numb3rs), Bailey Chase (Damages), Cassidy Freeman (Smallville) and newcomer Adam Bartley. Widowed only a year, Longmire is a man in psychic repair that buries his pain behind a brave face and dry wit. Struggling since his wife’s death and at the urging of his daughter, Cady (Freeman), Longmire knows that the time has come to turn his life around. With the help of Vic (Sackhoff), a female deputy new to the department, he becomes reinvigorated about his job and committed to running for re-election. When Branch (Chase), an ambitious, young deputy decides to run against him for sheriff, Longmire feels betrayed but remains steadfast in his dedication to the community. Longmire often turns to close friend and confidant Henry Standing Bear (Diamond Phillips) for support as he sets out to rebuild both his personal and professional life, one step at a time.

Monday, June 4th

Hell’s Kitchen, season premiere at 8pm on FOX

- Get ready for premiere chef Gordon Ramsay to spice up the tenth season of Hell’s Kitchen with 18 new competitors. These aspiring restaurateurs will brave Ramsay and his fiery command of the kitchen as he once again puts the competitors through an intense culinary academy to prove they possess the right combination of ingredients to win the life-changing grand prize: a head chef position at Gordon Ramsay Steak in the Paris Hotel, Las Vegas, NV. This season, the chefs leave the pleasantries at the door as the pressure to impress Chef Ramsay reaches the boiling point. As the competition progresses, the teams will be reduced until only two chefs are left to compete for the ultimate prize and fulfill their dreams of working in the culinary industry as the winner of Hell’s Kitchen.

Masterchef, season premiere at 9pm on FOX

- Famed award-winning chef Gordon Ramsay, restaurateur Joe Bastianich and acclaimed chef Graham Elliot return for Season Three of the amateur cooking competition Masterchef. This season will feature contestants from all walks of life representing 23 states – including a stock broker, a professional opera singer, an emergency physician, a food photographer, a plastic surgeon, as well as the first blind cook to enter the competition – all with the hopes of turning their culinary dream into a reality. The hopefuls will prepare their signature dish and present them to the distinguished judging panel: Gordon Ramsay (Gordon Ramsay Steak, maze), Joe Bastianich (Del Posto, Eataly) and Graham Elliot (Graham Elliot, Grahamwich). The judges will taste for flavor, originality, creativity and presentation. But most importantly, the amateur cooks must demonstrate a genuine passion for food and a drive to win in order to earn a coveted white apron and move on to the next round. Only those who put their best dish forward will move one step closer to becoming a culinary master.

Push Girls, series premiere at 10pm on Sundance

- Sundance Channel is bringing an unfettered, uncensored glimpse at what it means to be sexy, ambitious and living with paralysis in Hollywood with Push Girls, a new original non-fiction series from producer Gay Rosenthal (Ruby, Little People, Big World). 14 episodes of the docu-series trace the lives of four dynamic, outspoken and beautiful women who, by accident or illness, have been paralyzed from the neck or the waist down.

Tuesday, June 5th

Rizzoli & Isles, season premiere at 9pm on TNT

- TNT’s hit dramedy stars Angie Harmon as Jane Rizzoli, a tough-as-nails Boston police detective, and Sasha Alexander as Maura Isles, a smart, impeccably dressed medical examiner from a privileged background. Despite being complete opposites, the two women share an offbeat chemistry and strong working relationship that has helped them bust some of Boston’s most notorious criminals. Lorraine Bracco stars as Jane’s demanding and intrusive mother, Angela. Lee Thompson Young is Detective Barry Frost, Jane’s somewhat green partner. Bruce McGill plays Detective Vince Korsak, Jane’s seasoned former partner who resents her being paired with Frost. And Jordan Bridges is Jane’s brother, Frankie Jr., a patrol cop who hopes one day to become a detective. In the season 3 premiere, Jane and Maura’s friendship suffers following the shooting of Maura’s biological father, gangster Paddy Doyle (guest star John Doman). Jane also finds herself in the middle of an Internal Affairs investigation. And her relationship with FBI Agent Gabriel Dean (guest-star Billy Burke) is exposed.

Wednesday, June 9th

2012 CMT Music Awards, special awards show from 8 to 10:30pm on CMT

- Cue what seems like the 50th country music awards show this year! Carrie Underwood leads the field at the 2012 CMT Music Awards, claiming five nominations. Women are the frontrunners this year with Miranda Lambert following close behind Underwood with four nominations – two for her solo work and two as a member of country trio and first-time nominees Pistol Annies, who are up for group video of the year and USA Weekend breakthrough video of the year.Jason Aldean, Lady Antebellum, Rascal Flatts, Blake Shelton, Taylor Swift, The Civil Wars and Thompson Square are next in line, tied for three nominations each.

Royal Pains, season premiere at 9pm on USA

- USA announces the return of the Hamptons’ doctor-on-demand, Hank Lawson (Mark Feuerstein), in Royal Pains. When Hank’s medical career comes to a crashing hault, his younger brother Evan drags him to the Hamptons to drink his sorrows away and by the end of the weekend their new concierge doctor practice HankMed is born with Evan as the CFO. This season, the business might cause a permanent divide between the Lawson brothers. Also, Judy Greer guest stars as a professional matchmaker named Veronica Sullivan who seeks treatment from HankMed for a heart condition, and ends up making Hank (Mark Feuerstein) and Divya (Reshma Shetty) reevaluate their own romantic lives.

Adam Richman’s Best Sandwich in America, season premiere at 9pm on Travel

- The sandwich is the most beloved, deliciously versatile invention of all time. From delicious New York deli meat piled high on rye to central California’s tri-tip smothered in barbecue sauce, this delectable symbol of American ingenuity takes on countless shapes and flavors from coast to coast. But one question remains: Which sandwich is the best in America? Adam Richman is on a mission to find out. In each episode, Adam will choose a region of the country, sample 3 of its top sandwiches – and choose 1 to represent the region in the National Championship. In the hour-long battle royale, the 10 regional winners and 2 secret wild cards will go head-to-head, March Madness-style. In the end, only one will claim the coveted title of Adam Richman’s Best Sandwich in America.

Million Dollar Listing: Los Angeles, season premiere at 9pm on Bravo

- The most buzzed-about real estate gurus return to Bravo for a brand new season of Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles. Josh Flagg, Madison Hildebrand, and Josh Altman give viewers an up-close and personal look inside the high-stakes, cutthroat world of the Los Angeles real estate market. Season 5 puts the spotlight on Josh Altman, Josh Flagg, and Madison Hildebrand, three of LA’s most aggressive real estate magnates selling the high life at high prices in the most exclusive neighborhoods in town; Hollywood, Beverly Hills, and Malibu. Tensions will rise, open houses will flow and clients will test their patience as the guys weather a tough market and trying times in their personal and professional lives in the City of Angels.

Operation Repo, season premiere at 9:30pm on TruTV

- From luxury boats and planes to expensive sports cars and tricked-out trucks, if you can’t make your payments, the Operation Repo team will find you! When it comes to recovering property from deadbeat owners, Lou, Sonia, Matt, Froy and Lyndah will stop at nothing to get the job done.

Thursday, June 7th

Saving Hope, series premiere at 9pm on NBC

- Saving Hope is a new medical supernatural drama series that stars Erica Durance (Smallville), Michael Shanks (Stargate Atlantis) and Daniel Gillies (The Vampire Diaries). In Saving Hope, when charismatic Chief of Surgery Charlie Harris (Shanks) at Hope-Zion Hospital ends up in a coma, he leaves the hospital in chaos – and his fiancee and fellow surgeon, Alex Reid (Durance), in a state of shock. Along with newly arrived star surgeon, Joel Goran (Gillies), Reid races to save Harris’ life. As the action unfolds, the comatose Harris explores the hospital halls in “spirit” form, not sure if he’s a ghost or a figment of his own imagination. Reid, along with her fellow doctors, press on to save his life and those of their other patients as they deal with the complicated and courageous decisions that are made in their daily struggle to keep hope alive.

The Choice, series premiere at 9pm on FOX

- So You Think You Can Dance’s fabulous Cat Deeley hosts a new celebrity dating series with a twist. FOX takes the dating game show for a spin by giving celebrities The Choice to prove that love is really blind. The Choice features the world’s most eligible celebrities competing to find true love among a group of sexy singles…they can’t see. Each episode, 4 celebrities sit in The Voice-type chairs with their back to the stage and pick their (literally!) blind date based only on their voice and immediately go on a date. Featuring celebrities like Jersey Shore’s Pauly D and Mike “The Situation”, former DWTS contestants Romeo and Mike Catherwood, Carmen Electra and teen heartthrob Joe Jonas.

Cajun Justice, series premiere at 10pm on A&E

- This new original real-life series that follows the Terrebonne Parish Sheriff’s Office, a world where the sheriff is like a king, voodoo is a common practice and no police call is routine. Cajun Justice is a character-driven docudrama unlike any other nonfiction cop show. The detectives and deputies of the Terrebonne Parish Sheriff’s Office are charged with serving and protecting over 2,000 square miles of treacherous swampland in Southern Louisiana. Located 45 miles south of New Orleans, the Terrebonne Parish Sheriff”s Office investigates thousands of incidents every year. With the fiery personalities of the local Cajuns and the Louisiana justice system unlike any other (it’s the only state that is ruled under Napoleonic law), there’s no such thing as an ordinary police call. Whether it’s a creepy sighting of the Rougarou (“shape-shifting swamp monster”), a distressed neighbor reporting a stolen air conditioner during a heat wave, or a lead on a gruesome local serial-killer case; the deeper into the sticky swampland the deputies delve, the stranger and more mysterious the calls become. In the remote swamps, certain residents think the rules don’t apply to them and are more than willing to fight back. As the heat and humidity rises, so does the crime rate and unusual behavior. Sheriff Vernon Bourgeois Jr., a former oil man, runs the department with extraordinary power, and like all sheriffs in Louisiana, no one can arrest him except the coroner, dead or alive. In each half-hour episode of Cajun Justice, Bourgeois, with his signature style, leads his colorful crew of detectives and deputies as they investigate the unique and eerie occurrences of the region.

Friday, June 8th

Comedy Bang! Bang!, series premiere at 10pm on IFC

- Based on Scott Aukerman’s (co-creator/director/producer, Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis; writer/performer, Mr. Show popular podcast of the same name, Comedy Bang! Bang! cleverly riffs on the well-known format of the late night talk show, infusing celebrity appearances and comedy sketches with a tinge of the surreal. In each episode, Aukerman engages his guests with unfiltered and improvisational lines of questioning, punctuated by banter and beats provided by bandleader, one-man musical mastermind Reggie Watts (Conan), to reinvent the traditional celebrity interview. Packed with character cameos, filmic shorts, sketches and games set amongst an off-beat world, Comedy Bang! Bang! delivers thirty minutes of absurd laugh-loaded fun featuring some of the biggest names in comedy.

Lives on Fire, series premiere at 9pm on OWN

- Lives on Fire takes us inside the extraordinary worlds of four remarkable women who risk their lives every day to take command during California’s most dangerous disasters. As members of one of the nation’s largest emergency response teams, these female firefighters are ready to battle against nature’s most unforgiving forces. Viewers witness the drama, action and danger of their jobs as they respond to life and death situations. With the ending of each shift, these women also open the doors into their personal lives as they strive to balance being mothers, wives, girlfriends and daughters. Viewers will follow four very different women including Nica Vasquez, a mother who has 12 years of experience working in the service as a veteran firefighter/engineer; Rosanne Grier, who is in her fifth year as a seasonal firefighter working against the odds to become permanent; Michele Dyck, a veteran firefighter/engineer with 12 years of experience who works at a station in a coastal area known for its dangerous cliff and open water rescues; and Diley Greiser, a mother who is in her seventh year as a firefighter/paramedic who is adjusting to being the new person at Station 17 – one of the busiest and most demanding stations in Riverside County.

Saturday, June 9th

Guys Choice Awards, awards show from 9 to 11pm on Spike

- Spike TV’s Guys Choice isn’t the typical Hollywood awards show honoring the same celebrities and categories viewers always see. This show is a star-studded event featuring what guys want, including innovative and creative categories and a bevy of foxy trophy ladies. Guys Choice – chosen by guys, for guys. This year’s star-studded homage to the year in Guydom once again brings together the biggest names in entertainment and sports.

Sunday, January 15th

The 69th Annual Golden Globes Awards, special awards show from 8 to 11pm on NBC

- The never-boring multi-talented Golden Globe and Emmy Award winner Ricky Gervais (The Office, The Ricky Gervais Show) returns for the third time as host to continue insulting every celebrity possible in this entertaining awards show honoring what the Foreign Press deems to be the best movies and television shows of the past year. Black and white silent film The Artist leads the movie nominations with 6 nods, following closely behind are The Descendants (starring Best Actor nominee George Clooney) and The Help (starring Best Actress nominee Viola Davis and Best Supporting Actress nominee Octavia Spencer) with 5 nods each. Clooney’s other film The Ides of March, was also a big hit, garnering him nominations for Best Director and Best Screenplay. In the TV category for best drama, new shows came out on top with Showtime’s Homeland, FX’s American Horror Story and Starz’s Boss all nominated in addition to HBO’s Game of Thrones and Boardwalk Empire. They all edged out perrenial favorites Dexter, Breaking Bad and House, Mad Men didn’t air a new season within this year’s awards show qualifying time frame. Best comedy series included Fox’s Glee and New Girl, along with ABC’s Modern Family. Showtime’s Episodes and HBO’s Enlightened also made the cut.

Napoleon Dynamite, series premiere at 8:30pm on FOX

- An animated series based on the hit film, Napoleon Dynamite follows the comic adventures of America’s most awesomely awkward teenager and his offbeat family and friends as they navigate small-town life in rural Idaho. Whether he’s facing down bullies or discovering the meaning of friendship, Napoleon (voice of Jon Heder) proves that true heroes follow their own path – especially when they have secret ninja skills from the government. The original cast from the film – Heder, Aaron Ruell, Efren Ramirez, Tina Majorino, Sandy Martin, Jon Gries and Diedrich Bader – return to voice their roles, and many new characters will be added along the way.

Monday, January 16th

Revolution, series premiere at 2pm on ABC

- ABC’s new daytime show follows in the likes of The Chew starring a large all-star multi-talented cast consisting of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition’s Ty Pennington, Project Runway’s iconic Tim Gunn, celebrity trainer Harley Pasternak, OB-GYN Jennifer Ashton and therapist Dr. Tiffanie Davis Henry. The Revolution is an uplifting, inspiring, and groundbreaking new daily show about health and lifestyle transformations co-hosted by a stellar team of experts who will help viewers with complete transformations in all areas of their lives. It focuses on improving your physical and emotional well-being, fashion, family, home design, personal finance, food, jobs and more. In addition to being a motivating and interactive resource for viewers at home, the show features a unique concept: each week one woman’s five-month weight loss journey will unfold in just five days with daily results and a final transformation reveal on Friday. This show is your daily boost, whether you are looking for inspiration to accomplish little victories or you need a road map for a major change.

Alcatraz, 2-hour series premiere at 8pm on FOX

- From executive producer J.J. Abrams (Fringe, Lost, Star Trek and Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol) and writer and executive producer Elizabeth Sarnoff (Lost and Deadwood) comes this chilling new thriller centered on America’s most infamous prison and one-time home to the nation’s most notorious murderers, rapists, kidnappers and thieves. When San Francisco Police Department Det. Rebecca Madsen (Sarah Jones, Sons of Anarchy) is assigned to a grisly homicide case, a fingerprint leads her to a shocking suspect: Jack Sylvane, a former Alcatraz inmate who died decades ago. Madsen’s interest is immediately piqued, and once the enigmatic, knows-everything-but-tells-nothing government agent Emerson Hauser (Sam Neill, Jurassic Park) tries to impede her investigation, she’s doggedly committed. Madsen turns to Alcatraz expert and comic book enthusiast, Dr. Diego “Doc” Soto (Jorge Garcia, Lost), to piece together the inexplicable sequence of events. The twosome discovers that Sylvane is not only alive, but he’s loose on the streets of San Francisco, leaving bodies in his wake. And strangely, he hasn’t aged a day since he was in Alcatraz. Madsen and Soto reluctantly team with Agent Hauser and his technician, Lucy Banerjee (Parminder Nagra, ER), to stop Sylvane’s vengeful killing spree. By delving into Alcatraz history, government cover-ups and Rebecca’s own heritage, the team will ultimately discover that Sylvane is only a small part of a much larger, more sinister present-day threat. For while he may be the first, it quickly becomes clear that Sylvane won’t be the last prisoner to reappear from Alcatraz.

Betty White’s 90th Birthday: A Tribute to America’s Golden Girl, special event from 8 to 9:30pm on NBC

- In an all-new all-star special, some of Hollywood’s biggest stars — including Mary Tyler Moore, Hugh Jackman, Jay Leno, Amy Poehler and Carol Burnett — gather to celebrate Betty White’s 90th birthday. White’s “Hot in Cleveland” co-stars Valerie Bertinelli, Wendy Mallick and Jane Leeves, along with her “Mary Tyler Moore” co-stars Ed Asner, Valerie Harper and Gavin MacLeod, will also be on hand, along with Joel McHale, William Shatner and many more.

Betty White’s Off Their Rockers, special preview at 9:30pm on NBC

- Forget everything you thought you knew about the older generation. Betty White’s Off Their Rockers takes senior stereotypes and blows them out of the water with a cast of sassy septuagenarians who are hip, sexy and ready to party! America’s favorite comedy sweetheart sends a fearless band of senior citizens to the streets to pull shockingly hilarious pranks on the younger generation in Betty White’s Off Their Rockers, an outrageously funny “hidden camera” show unlike anything viewers have ever seen. White, a seven-time Emmy Award winner, will star in and executive produce the series, adapted from the hit Belgium series Benidorm Bastards. “People have been telling me that I’m ‘off my rocker’ for years,” says White. “Now I can prove it!”

Tuesday, January 17th

Remodeled, series premiere at 9pm on The CW

- Modeling industry veteran Paul Fisher is planning to bring together hundreds of small agencies around the world in a new venture called The Network. The Network will give Paul the leverage to change the industry from the inside out. He has two missions: to make sure agents in small towns no longer get screwed, and to empower models to take control of their careers and lead healthier lives.

Justified, season premiere at 10pm on FX

- Developed by Graham Yost and starring Timothy Olyphant, this modern-day Western is based on the works of crime novelist Elmore Leonard, including Leonard’s short story Fire in the Hole. In Season 2, Deputy US Marshal Raylan Givens (Olyphant) squared off against criminal matriarch Mags Bennett (Margo Martindale’s won an Emmy Award-winning role). The end of Season 2 brought about the end of the Bennett family’s hold over Harlan County and the return of Raylan’s old nemesis/friend Boyd Crowder to the criminal life. This season, Boyd and his crew will find they aren’t the only ones making a play to rule the Harlan underworld. Now Raylan finds himself facing off against dirty politicians, hidden fortunes, a mysterious man named “Limehouse” and an enterprising and lethal criminal from the Motor City.

Southland, season premiere at 10pm on TNT

- Head back to the streets of Los Angeles for the new, explosive season of Southland, the critically acclaimed drama series from Emmy-winning producer John Wells (ER, The West Wing). Chronicling the lives of LAPD officers and detectives like no other series on television, this powerful, intensely emotional drama stars Michael Cudlitz, Shawn Hatosy, Regina King and Ben McKenzie, along with special guest star Lucy Liu. Since premiering in 2009, Southland has redefined the police drama with its raw, authentic look at the lives and work of Los Angeles detectives and beat cops. The show centers on four main characters: Officer John Cooper (Cudlitz), a seasoned cop who will have to prove himself again after recovering from surgery; Officer Ben Sherman (McKenzie), who still has much to learn after recently completing his training rotation; Detective Lydia Adams (King), whose unending caseload hits closer to home; and Sammy Bryant (Hatosy), a former detective who decided to go back to being a uniform cop after the traumatic death of his partner. Shot on location in the streets and neighborhoods of Los Angeles, Southland captures a realistic, natural environment where similar situations can and often do occur in real life.

White Collar, midseason premiere at 10pm on USA

- In the summer finale, Neal and Mozzie must stay one step ahead of the FBI while appearing to work with them in order to keep them from discovering that they possess the treasure. They manage to throw Peter off the scent for the time being, but with the Feds slowly closing in, Mozzie decided he’s waited long enough. Mozzie gave Neal an ultimatum – leave with him, and the treasure, in 48 hours, or stay in Manhattan with Peter. Time to choose a side. Meanwhile, when the feds tracked the Degas to a black market arms trafficker, Peter cut Neal out of the inner circle. Out of the loop but not out of options, Neal devised his most daring plan yet to replace the Degas with a forgery, thus erasing any connection to Neal, Mozzie, and the treasure. However, Keller is still lurking in the Manhattan shadows, and he’ll do anything to possess the treasure. In the midseason premiere, Neal is forced to come clean with Peter about the hidden cache in order to save Elizabeth.

Ink Master, series premiere at 10pm on Spike

- Hosted by rock legend Dave Navarro and judged by icons of the tattoo world, Chris Nunez and Oliver Peck, 10 of the country’s most creative and skilled tattoo artists descend on NYC to compete for a hundred thousand dollars and the title of Ink Master. The stakes couldn’t be higher with ‘Living Canvasses’ donating their skin to be permanently marked in this adrenalized competition elimination.

Wednesday, January 18th

American Idol, 2-hour season premiere at 8pm on FO

- The most-watched TV series in the past 10 years has rebounded after some rocky ratings following Simon Cowell’s and Paula Abdul’s departure, which bounced back when the audience opened up to its new panel of judges. Season 10 of the country’s biggest singing competition series (yes, even the much-hyped The X Factor could not dethrone Idol from the top spot) brings Jennifer Lopez, Steven Tyler, and Randy Jackson together to judge contestants on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Jimmy Iovine, chairman of Interscope Geffen A&M Records, mentors the finalists each week and lends his expertise, and Ryan Seacrest continues to host the show for his tenth season.

Mistresses, season premiere at 10pm on BBC America

- The sexy, sophisticated drama Mistresses is back for a final season. But all has changed as Katie, Trudi, Siobhan and Jessica are no longer friends. But what could have caused these friends to split? Katie, the group’s emotional rock, is back from time spent in Australia and ready to put her failed relationship with Dan behind her. However, her meticulously-organized life changes with the arrival of her widowed mother Vivienne. Trudi is struggling with finding a solid balance between family life and her successful baking business. When an investor proposes to buy the bakery, she isn’t sure she’s willing to give it all up. Also enjoying motherhood is Siobhan, but such family bliss is interrupted when her former lover and the father of her child, Dominic, returns to town—to announce his engagement to New York socialite Alice. Jessica is desperate to have a family with her husband, Mark. But after suffering a miscarriage 18 months earlier and Mark’s financial difficulties, she’s left second guessing her IVF plans. Having been through their fair share of torment and loneliness and love and excitement over the years, the bond between these four women once seemed unshakable. Katie asks them to come together with the hope of addressing what’s happened in the last year, but will old secrets leave them wishing they never reconnected?

Royal Pains, midseason premiere at 10pm on USA

Thursday, January 19th

Unsupervised, series premiere at 10:30pm on FX

- Unsupervised is an animated, half-hour comedy about two eternally optimistic best friends Gary and Joel, who are navigating the harsh landscape of adolescence and trying to do what’s right despite having no parental guidance whatsoever. Gary’s father took off years ago and left him with his absentee stepmom, while Joel’s elderly parents remain unseen and uninvolved. And the adults that are actually present in Gary and Joel’s lives are anything but role models. At first glance, Gary and Joel’s world may be bleak but their worldview is bright as they guide themselves through life with each other to depend on. Unsupervised features the voices of Justin Long as Gary, David Hornsby as Joel, Kristen Bell as Megan, Rob Rosell as Russ and Romany Malco as Darius.

Friday, January 20th

Shark Tank, season premiere at 8pm on ABC

- The Sharks are back to continue their search to invest in the best products and businesses that America has to offer. The critically acclaimed Shark Tank gives budding entrepreneurs the chance to make their dreams come true, and possibly make a business deal that will make them a millionaire. Season Three continues to make TV history, with the Sharks offering over $6.2 million of their own money in investment deals to bankroll a creative array of innovative entrepreneurs. Billionaire Mark Cuban, owner and chairman of HDNet and outspoken owner of the 2010-2011 NBA championship Dallas Mavericks, returns as a Shark in all 13 episodes. Also, Lori Greiner, a prolific inventor of retail products and often referred to as the “Queen of QVC,” will join the show as a guest Shark investor for three episodes. Returning “Sharks” joining Cuban and Greiner are real estate mogul Barbara Corcoran, technology innovator Robert Herjavec, fashion and branding expert Daymond John and venture capitalist Kevin O’Leary, who we all know has also been called Mr. Wonderful (by himself, of course).

Saturday, January 21st

Bayou Billionaires, series premiere at 9pm on CMT

- In a modern day rags to riches story, Bayou Billionaires tells the story of the Dowdens of Shreveport, LA – a hardworking family of modest means who recently discovered their home sits on the fourth largest deposit of natural gas in the United States. After years of pinching pennies and balancing budgets, the over-the-top Dowdens are ready to enjoy the finer things in life, sparing no expense. Bayou Billionaires follows Gerald and Kitten and the rest of their family as they experience the perks of belonging to a brand new tax bracket. The close-knit Dowden family includes a colorful cast of characters who each have their own plans for living the American dream. Led by patriarch, Gerald, and matriarch, Kitten, the family includes daughter Valerie, an outspoken, single mother of three who works for the public defender’s office in Shreveport; daughter Chantel and her offbeat, live-in boyfriend Albert (aka Carl; aka Jimmy) whose hilarious exploits and anecdotes keep things very, very interesting; adventurous son Gerald Jr. and his wife Peggy; and the youngest son Thomas, who admits to being his mother’s favorite, and his wife Mallory. Kitten’s 90-year-old father, Grandpa, is a ladies’ man who often spends his time talking on the phone to his many girlfriends.

An Idiot Abroad 2: The Bucket List, season premiere at 10pm on Science

- This travel documentary series stars Karl Pilkington, a household name thanks to the The Ricky Gervais Show podcasts. The franchise’s second installment comes on the heels of the first season of An Idiot Abroad, which became the Science Channel’s most-watched series ever in 2011. After his tour of the Seven Wonders of the World, Pilkington could be considered an international jetsetter, however, his recent global exposure has made him even more resistant to the call of the open road.  Nevertheless, world-class tormentors Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant prove that one man’s anguish can be another man’s amusement, as they send him around the world to fulfill his Bucket List. However, the list – compiled by Gervais and Merchant – is geared more toward the personal torture of Pilkington than it is for his personal fulfillment. Over eight episodes, Pilkington attempts to survive challenges including bungee jumping, taming cobras and swimming with sharks – solely for the amusement of his “friends” back in London. Now Karl can only hope that his quest to accomplish the definitive list of “things to do before you die” doesn’t kill him first.

Dancing With the Stars, syndication premiere at 6pm on GSN

- For the first time on television since they debuted, the past seasons of this sensational series will be shown in their entirety. All the sexy stars, all the beautiful dances and all the heart-pounding excitement can now be seen on GSN. So, whether you’re enjoying them once again, or if you’re catching them for the very first time, don’t miss a single episode. The syndication premiere begins with Season 4 aka the season of winners Apollo Anton Ohno and Julianne Hough.

Sunday, June 26th

BET Awards ’11, awards show from 8 to 11pm on BET

- Chris Brown and Lil Wayne grabbed the most nominations with six and five respectively. Their collaboration with Busta Rhymes, “Look At Me Now“, is nominated for Video of the Year. Also, former collaborators, Rihanna, Kanye West, and Drake, follow closely behind with four nods each. Queen Latifah, Bruno Mars, Justin Bieber, Gladys Knight, Nicki Minaj, Ne-Yo, Beyonce, Mary J. Blige, Patti LaBelle, Trey Songz, Lil Wayne, Drake, Chris Brown, Alicia Keys, and Cee Lo Green are all scheduled to perform. Comedian/rapper Kevin Hart (aka Chocolate Drop) will host the event.

Leverage, season premiere at 9pm on TNT

- This little action-packed and clever show with a Robin Hood undertone has a coveted position on my TIVO for profiling a team of thieves at the top of their game who use their “skills” to help victimized people in a manner the law can’t. Since we last saw the Leverage crew in the season three finale, the team was laying low after finally fulfilling their obligation to a mysterious Italian agent who blackmailed Nate into hunting down a nefarious financier. The ordeal seems to have opened up a new side of Nate, who is more determined than ever to focus on bringing down bad guys. He is also reluctant to deal with the uncomfortable dynamic between him and Sophie after the two wound up in bed together. The fourth season opens in epic fashion as the team heads to the rugged mountains of Alaska to help a woman whose husband has disappeared, possibly as a victim of foul play. More than any previous job, this one will push the Leverage team to the edge of endurance in one of the world’s harshest terrains, where a single wrong step could send them plunging into an almost certain death. This season on Leverage, the team will face bigger challenges than ever before. They will be forced to face the moral ambiguity of what they do as Nate continues to struggle with his inner demons.

True Blood, season premiere at 9pm on HBO

- The hit sexy HBO original series set in Louisiana about the love affair between Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin), a telepathic waitress at a bar, and vampire Bill Compton (Stephen Moyer) enters its fourth season this summer. Last season, Sookie and Bill’s relationship went through many rough patches after Bill was kidnapped and held hostage by a vampire King and Sookie went to go find him with the help of a werewolf named Alcide. Bill also learned through Claudine and revealed to Sookie about her heritage as part fairy. Sookie’s fairy blood will allow vampires to “day walk” In the season finale, Sookie was joined by Claudine and other fairies and transported to their world.

Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew, season premiere at 9pm on VH1

- This marks the fifth season of the first television series to chronicle the dramatic, unscripted real life experiences of a group of actual celebrities as they make the life-changing decision to enter themselves into a drug, alcohol and addiction treatment program with the sincere desire to achieve true rehabilitation and recovery. This compelling true account of addiction, healing, and redemption continues to be supervised with great compassion and insight by renowned addiction and recovery expert Dr. Drew Pinsky. The most listened to doctor in America, Dr. Drew is the host of the nationally syndicated radio show Loveline where he has been taking calls from listeners since 1983. This season’s high-profile celebrities include Lindsay Lohan’s dad Michael and Guns N’ Roses drummer and season 2 cast member Steven Adler, as well as actress Sean Young who was the first eliminated contestant on ABC’s new series last winter Skating With The Stars.  

The Marriage Ref, season premiere at 10pm on NBC

- Jerry Seinfeld is back and in the producer’s chair for an all-new and improved second season of The Marriage Ref. In this revealing comedy panel series, real-life married couples take center stage as their quirky, funny and relatable disputes are explored, examined – and ultimately judged. For the sophomore run of the show, couples will appear in-studio and face a panel of “experts” composed of top celebrities and comedians who will weigh in and decide which spouse is right. The goal is to give couples something they have always wanted but have never had – a clear winner. At the end of each episode, the studio audience will vote to make one of the winners “The Rightest of the Right.” These winners will receive $25,000 and their very own billboards, in their hometowns, declaring they are right. Comedian Tom Papa (The New Adventures of Old Christine, The Informant!), who was personally chosen by Seinfeld, is back in the center of the action where he serves as the host and the “ref.”

Monday, June 27th

Weeds, season premiere at 10pm on Showtim

- The once naîve suburban soccer mom Nancy Botwin has certainly come a long way in six seasons after in season 1 when she was widowed and left destitute with a family to raise, Nancy turned to drug dealing to make ends meet. Pot-selling single mom turned Mexican mafia princess turned escape artist Nancy Botwin turned herself in to the FBI rather than face certain death at the hands of her vengeful ex Esteban and his goon squad. It’s now three years later and Nancy is sprung from the joint and making a fresh start in New York City. Will Nancy be able to successfully reunite her far-flung family and keep her hands clean?

The Big C, season premiere at 10:30pm on Showtime

- Laura Linney stars in this comedy series about living with cancer. Conservative Minneapolis wife and mother Cathy Jamison let her freak flag fly when she got her cancer diagnosis. She also decided against treatment, at least until her loved ones learned the truth. After spending most of season one ignoring her illness, Cathy Jamison has decided to fight back. “Bring it on,” says Cathy, as she enters an experimental clinical trial while continuing to live life to the fullest in this heartfelt and surprising comedy.

Tuesday, June 28th

I Kid With Brad Garrett, series premiere at 8pm on TLC

6’8’’ comedian Brad Garrett hosts a show where he talks to kids about everything from politics, to religion, to family-life and current events, letting their funny reactions and candid answers take center stage.

Wednesday, June 29th

Melissa & Joey, midseason premiere at 8pm on ABC Family

State of Georgia, series premiere at 8:30pm on ABC Family

- The former The Crosby Show and Disney Channel star Raven-Symoné stars in a new comedy series as Georgia, an aspiring actress from the South with a larger than life personality and her science geek best friend who try to make headway in New York City. The series is already shockingly more risqué than Symone’s previous gigs (she seduces a casting director in the premiere episode) but still features her distinct brand of comedy. Grey’s Anatomy’s Loretta Devine plays Georgia’s Aunt Honey who has a sweet pad, great wardrobe, and unnecessarily overshares about her sex life.

Royal Pains, season premiere at 9pm on USA

- This summer marks the third season of the series about the successful ER doctor turned reluctant doctor for hire serving the rich in the Hamptons. The Hamptons’ hottest doctor-in-demand Hank Lawson finally puts his conscience at ease with making big bucks from people who don’t know what how to appreciate the value of a dollar bill by providing free service to the less fortunate who can’t afford medical care. At the end of last season, Hank and Hamptons Heritage hospital administer Jill finally ended up together, again, only to break up again in the season finale when Jill was offered and accepted a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to help launch a group of medical mobile clinics in South America.

Love in the Wild, series premiere at 10pm on NBC

- This exciting new adventure dating series will put relationships to the ultimate test for our amusement. Ten single men and 10 single women, all looking for love, will experience a romantic adventure unlike anything they could have ever imagined. The series will follow them as they head deep into the remote jungles of Costa Rica, paddle down crocodile-infested waters, navigate through bat infested caves, and hang 200 feet above the rain forest floor as they descend down one of the most majestic waterfalls all in the hope of finding that special someone. Sparks will fly and hearts will break.

Necessary Roughness, series premiere at 10pm on USA

- Lets try not to judge too harshly because of the horrible title… Dr. Dani Santino (Callie Thorne) seems to have it all figured out: she’s got a beautiful home, a successful husband, two great kids, and a satisfying career as a psychotherapist. But when she catches her husband cheating, Dani’s perfect world begins to unravel, and she is forced to find a way to keep her family, her finances and her sanity intact. Luckily, a chance encounter with the trainer of the local pro football team offers Dani a chance to show off her counseling skills, and before she can say “Hail Mary,” Dani has taken on the team’s star wide receiver as a patient and become the most sought-after therapist on Long Island. Now, high-profile clients from athletes to entertainers to politicians are clamoring for Dani’s unique brand of therapy during their moments of crisis. But though her career is reenergized, Dani soon discovers that balancing her workload and the new demands of single motherhood won’t be easy. The series is based on the true story of a female psychologist who worked for the New York Jets.

Behind the Music, season premiere at 10pm on VH1

- VH1’s Behind the Music emerged from the cable television jungle of the 1990s to become the most celebrated music documentary series in TV history. BTM blew up the small screen with true tales of drugs and debauchery, breakups and makeups. The show’s addictive portraits of the flipside of pop music stardom became as legendary as many of the bands themselves. The docu-series tells artists’ stories through in-depth, intimate interviews with the artists and their families, friends and colleagues, along with rare and never-before-seen video and film footage. This season features the stories of Nelly, Missy Elliott, and Ice Cube among others.

Thursday, June 30th

Extreme Chef, series premiere at 10pm on Food Network

- Whether extracting ingredients from a block of ice or using a Swiss Army knife as a lone cooking utensil, three chefs are pushed to their physical and mental limits in each episode of Extreme Chef. The series takes chefs out of their kitchen comfort zone to test their wits, adaptability and artistry as they must adapt to extreme conditions and unpredictable factors including swimming across a lake for ingredients and constructing a makeshift stove in only 30 minutes. In a series of arduous challenges, the competitors must impress judges and various guest critics with their unique culinary masterpieces to earn the title Extreme Chef.

Ugly Americans, season premiere at 10:30pm on Comedy Central

- Take New York City, add every horrifying beast, science-fiction freak, and fantasy faerie, shake thoroughly, and you’ve got Ugly Americans. This animated horror-comedy series follows one Mark Lilly, social worker at the Department of Integration, as he helps new citizens both human and “other” adapt to hectic life in the Big Apple. There are easier tasks than weaning vampires off of blood, socializing land-whales, and housebreaking werewolves, but Mark is up to the challenge. Between his stressful job, a zombie roommate, and a demon ex-girlfriend, Mark’s lucky if he can sneak in a few minutes of sleep. But who can sleep when there’s a drop-dead gorgeous Mermaid sitting at the bar?

Sunday, January 16th

The 68th Annual Golden Globe Awards, special awards show from 8 to 11pm on NBC

- The Golden Globes Awards is one of my favorite entertainment awards show of the season because they encompass both film and television…that is of course until they disappoint me, which they ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS do. Ricky Gervais is also hosting again, which is awesome. The King’s Speech leads the pack with 7 nods, followed closely behind by The Social Network and The Fighter. The Social Network has the upper hand for a Best Picture win but all three are going toe to toe in almost all the categories. Black Swan is also right on their tails giving them a run for their money…expect Natalie Portman to bring home a trophy for Best Actress. And if Friday’s Critics’ Choice Awards are any indication, The Fighter has a lock on all the supporting drama categories. In the comedy races, The Kids Are All Right should dominate, and the only suspense in the Best Actor in a Comedy/Musical category is whether Johnny Depp in The Tourist can score an upset over Johnny Depp in Alice in Wonderland (though I would personally love some Jake Gyllenhaal love for Love and Other Drugs). In the TV portion, the Globes stranded the final season of Lost. In keeping with a tradition of rewarding HBO shows, Boardwalk Empire‘s nominations included Steve Buscemi and Kelly Macdonald as well as the show itself. More surprising was the inclusion of AMC’s zombie thriller The Walking Dead, which despite its late-in-the-year premiere and a mere half-dozen episodes managed to impress the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. Other newcomers included nominations for Laura Linney and The Big C and Scott Caan for his supporting-actor work on Hawaii Five-O. It’s a race in the Best Drama Series category between newcomer Boardwalk Empire and veteran winner three years running Mad Men.

Big Love, season premiere at 9pm on HBO

- As if juggling three wives weren’t tricky enough, the fifth and final season of the critically acclaimed HBO series finds modern polygamist Bill Henrickson (Bill Paxton) tackling problems outside his three-house suburban home—and in public. Bill has built a new church and got himself elected to the State Senate, but some of his loyal followers are skeptical and the media’s glare isn’t helping. The power struggles between first wife Barb (Jeanne Tripplehorn), second wife Nicki (Chloë Sevigny) and third wife Margene (Ginnifer Goodwin) continue. And then there are the assorted family dramas including the growing pains of Bill’s eldest, Ben (Douglas Smith), and the endless challenges brought on by his father Frank (Bruce Dern) and mother Lois (Grace Zabriskie). Bold, funny and wholly original, Big Love continues to explore the evolving institution of marriage through this typically atypical family.

Monday, January 17th

Being Human, series premiere at 9pm on SyFy

- This is an American remake of a highly rated and acclaimed British series by the same name that airs on BBC America. This supernatural dramedy is a witty and extraordinary look into the lives of three twenty-somethings and their secret double-lives as a werewolf, a vampire, and a ghost. The 3 housemates struggle to live normal lives, despite their strange and dark secrets, while also helping each other navigate the complexities of living double lives.

Heavy, series premiere at 10pm on A&E

- Add Heavy to the growing list of depressing docudramas (Hoarders, Intervention) A&E has been rolling out in the past few years. Cameras follow twenty-two individuals facing extreme life-threatening health consequences as a result of their obesity. The show highlights two participants per episode documenting their incredible transformations during a six month treatment program. Unlike other weight loss series, Heavy is not a competition or stunt, but is rooted in the incredible real life day-to-day journeys of the participants during a lengthy treatment program. Through their day-to-day struggle and the voices of their loved ones, viewers will see first hand the pain and self-doubt associated with a debilitating weight problem.

Harry’s Law, series premiere at 10pm on NBC

- A new legal drama in the same vein as cancelled NBC series Outlaw starring Jimmy Smits, but this one is starring Academy Award winner Kathy Bates. This is a new dramedy from Emmy Award-winning writer/producer David E. Kelley (Boston Legal, The Practice, Ally McBeal) about how people can embrace the unexpected and other curveballs that life can throw at them. Harriet “Harry” Korn (Bates) doesn’t believe things happen for a reason, but she discovers that they sometimes do. A curmudgeonly ex-patent lawyer, Harry is abruptly fired from her blue chip law firm, forcing her to search for a fresh start. She finds it when her world unexpectedly collides, literally, with Malcolm Davies (Aml Ameen), a kind-hearted college student who desperately needs Harry’s help with his pending court case, and he subsequently goes to work for her. Harry soon finds her balance as well as new offices in an abandoned shoe store just as legal hotshot Adam Branch (Nate Corddry, The United States of Tara) accidentally hits her while driving. Inspired by Harry’s no-nonsense understanding of the law, Adam decides to take leave of his shiny corporate firm to go and work with her. Harry, Adam and Malcolm – unlikely but kindred spirits – along with the help of Harry’s shoe-savant assistant, Jenna (Brittany Snow, Hairspray), are now ready for whatever walks in through the doors of their unique establishment – Harriet’s Law and Fine Shoes.

Mega Dens, series premiere at 10pm on DIY Network

- In each episode of the new home makeover series, host and interior designer Anitra Mecadon creates over-the-top rec-room sanctuaries while giving you the skills to renovate your own family space. Whether she’s dangling from a scaffold or breaking down a concrete wall, Anitra’s rock ‘n’ roll approach gives her an edge not usually found in most designers and transforms these rooms beyond the homeowners’ wildest imaginations. These unbelievable room renovations feature incredible home theaters, innovative gaming areas, clever storage solutions and more.

Skins, series premiere at 10pm on MTV

- The trailers make it seem like the new scripted MTV series is about teens hooking up, drinking, and doing drugs to an extreme that was unheard of in my generation (and I’m only one generation older!)…and those trailers weren’t misleading at all. Skins is a wild ride through the lives of a group of high school friends stumbling through the mine field of adolescence… and stepping on most of the mines as they go. Be it sex, drugs, the breadth of friendships or the depth of heartbreaks, Skins is an emotional mosh-pit that slams through the insanity of teenage years. They’ll crush hearts and burn brain cells, while fearlessly confronting every obstacle head on…or slightly off.

Tuesday, January 18th

White Collar, midseason premiere at 10pm on USA

- The dramedy series with endless charm and savvy returns to finish off its second season. The series follows the unlikely partnership of a con artist and an FBI agent who have been playing cat and mouse for years. Neal Caffrey (Matt Bomer), a charming criminal mastermind, is finally caught (twice) by his nemesis, FBI Agent Peter Burke (Tim DeKay). They hatch an unconventional plan to grant Neal an early prison release in exchange for his services as a consultant for the FBI’s White Collar Unit, helping them catch other thieves. Through the successful apprehending of several white-collar criminals, Caffrey has proven to Burke that he will help him, and that he will not try to escape again. However, it’s hard for Neal to completely ignore his old ways and he’s still motivated to do anything to catch his girlfriend Kate’s killer. When we last left the unlikely duo, Peter discovered Neal had been using him to crack the code of the music box and took Neal off the case. But with Fowler so close, Neal has no intention of staying benched. The gang finds Fowler and finds out he is innocent—he is being blackmailed by the same person Peter has a patchwork picture of. Mozzie cracks the code inside of the music box but before he can tell anyone, he is shot by an unidentified man who steals the code. The midseason premiere finds Peter suspended by the FBI for a crime he didn’t commit. He is forced to run a sting with Neal and the gang to catch Mozzie’s shooter, and clear his name.

Wednesday, January 19th

American Idol, season premiere at 8pm on FOX

- The number 1 rated TV show for the past six years in a row has undergone quite the makeover since 2009. With every judge except for Randy Jackson leaving the show, it’s up in the air how many viewers will tune in to see season 10 of the search for the next American Idol. After much speculation and concern from the entire TV-watching and music-listening community, the new judges were finally revealed: singer and actress Jennifer Lopez and multiple Grammy Award-winning singer and songwriter, and Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductee Steven Tyler, the frontman of Aerosmith “the best-selling American rock band of all time.” As always, Ryan Seacrest, aka the most overhyped and overpaid TV host ever, will return to resume his subpar hosting duties…again. He should’ve joined everyone else on the lifeboat that was floating away from this Titanic-sized disaster. The only saving grace for me is the fact that the showrunners recruited SYTYCD executive producer Nigel Lythgoe to execute the makeover, which, judging from SYTYCD’s new and improved format last season, is a very smart idea.

Hot in Cleveland, season premiere at 10pm on TV Land

- TV Land’s first scripted TV series struck gold no doubt thanks to the comedy legend that is Betty White. The show revolves around three fabulous L.A. women of a certain age who are best friends (Valerie Bertinelli, Jane Leeves and Wendie Malick). Their lives are changed forever when their plane – headed to Paris for a girls-only celebration – unexpectedly lands in Cleveland. They soon rediscover themselves in a new ‘promised land’ that is less shallow, youth-obsessed and weight-conscious than L.A. Loving their new home, the women find themselves living under one roof and battling the sassy caretaker (White) of the property they have rented. Tune in to see Mary Tyler Moore guest star in the premiere episode!

Restaurant: Impossible, series premiere at 10pm on Food Network

- After combating countless “impossible dinners,” Chef Robert Irvine faces a daunting new challenge: save America’s most desperate restaurants from impending failure in just two days with only $10,000. In his new series, Robert uses creativity and resourcefulness along with a lot of muscle in his fight to rescue these restaurants and give hope to the owners and their employees. Day one of the extreme mission begins with a thorough business assessment as Robert launches the restaurant into full service, closely observes the staff and kitchen, and determines their weakest spots. Then, he springs into action by updating the menu, retraining the staff and implementing aesthetic changes with the help of his design team. To ensure a packed house for the grand re-opening at the end of day two, Robert hits the streets to tell the community about the improved restaurant. Will the ruthless schedule, tight budget and ambitious task overcome Robert’s lofty goals, or will this tall order result in restaurant triumph? It’s like Kitchen Nightmares but with a tighter crunch time and on a cable network.

Retired at 35, series premiere at 10:30pm on TV Land

- TV Land’s second venture into original scripted series (Hot In Cleveland starring Betty White garnered the network’s highest rating ever) is a new comedy sitcom starring George Segal (Just Shoot Me, Pushing Daisies). Segal plays successful young businessman David (Johnathan McClain) who decides to leave the rat race of New York City behind and move into his parents’ (George Segal and Jessica Walter) Florida retirement home to reconnect with them, re-evaluate his life and live the dream of retirement that so many are working toward. Why his character would ever choose to do that is beyond me but there you have it.

Thursday, January 20th

Perfect Couples, series premiere at 8:30pm on NBC

- The latest addition to NBC’s Thursday night comedy line-up is a romantic comedy that follows three flawed pairs trying to get it right.  Dave (Kyle Bornheimer, Worst Week) and Julia (Christine Woods, Flash Forward) are the “everyday couple,” messed up in all the “normal” ways. Dave struggles to keep both his wife and his needy best friend, Vance (David Walton) happy. Vance and the volatile Amy (Mary Elizabeth Ellis, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia) are the high-passion, high-drama couple who bring out the best and worst in each other. The third duo features Rex (Hayes MacArthur, She’s Out of My League) and Leigh (Olivia Munn, The Daily Show). Rex is a reformed party guy who has channeled his jock energy into a competitive drive to be the ideal mate. Leigh, a self-anointed relationship guru, has formed the perfect union with Rex, and now considers it her duty to mold the other couples in their image. Unfortunately, this show airs right after the precious gem that is Community, thereby totally ruining your block of comedy fun on NBC. I recommend you take a half-hour break at 8:30pm on Thursday nights, entirely avoid this show, and then come back for some good comedy.

Royal Pains, season premiere at 9pm on USA

- The sophomore series about the successful ER doctor turned reluctant doctor for hire serving the rich in the Hamptons returns for its second season. The Hamptons’ hottest doctor-in-demand Hank Lawson finally puts his conscience at ease with making big bucks from people who don’t know what how to appreciate the value of a dollar bill by providing free service to the less fortunate who can’t afford medical care.

Parks & Recreation, season premiere at 9:30pm on NBC

- I have been waiting since last season’s finale for this day…the best comedy series on TV returns for its highly anticipated and way overdue (damn you scheduling team at NBC for making us wait so long!) third season. The mockumentary comedy from the producers of the The Office stars SNL’s Amy Poehler as Leslie Knope, Deputy Director of the Department of Parks and Recreation in the small city of Pawnee, Indiana. The ever-optimistic, kind-hearted, and overly ambitious Knope never tires of trying to make her quintessentially American town just a little bit more fun and beautiful even though no one else in her department, or her town for that matter, gives a crap. The critically acclaimed series not only features smart, witty writing, and hilarious storylines, but also one of the best ensemble casts on television. Leslie’s office mate is Tom Haverford (Aziz Ansari, ‘nuff said), a fashion-obsessed wannabe player whose greatest dream is to own his own nightclub. Leslie’s boss, Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman, Children’s Hospital), hates the very government he works for, and sports one of the most impressive moustaches on primetime television. Rounding out the cast are Leslie’s best friend Ann (Rashida Jones, I Love You, Man, The Office), her ex-boyfriend Andy (Chris Pratt, Everwood), and Ron’s assistant April (Aubrey Plaza, Funny People). Adam Scott (Party Down) and Rob Lowe (Brothers and Sisters, The West Wing) joined the cast at the end of last year and will be returning for season three. Can you stand the excitement ‘cause I certainly cannot, it’s gonna be LEGENDARY! The series will be returning to the Thursday night comedy block at a new time after The Office.

Fairly Legal, series premiere at 10pm on USA

- This new legal drama is the latest of several new female-centered series USA is rolling out (Covert Affairs starring Piper Perabo as a CIA agent premiered last summer) to increase its female viewership. Kate Reed (Sarah Shahi) is a firm believer that justice can always be found-even if it’s not always in the courtroom. Once a lawyer at her family’s esteemed San Francisco firm, Kate’s frustration with the legal system led her to a new career as a mediator. Thanks to her innate understanding of human nature, thorough legal knowledge, and wry sense of humor, Kate is a natural when it comes to dispute resolution. Except, it seems, when it comes to conflicts in her own life. Since her father’s sudden death, Kate’s relationship with her new boss-her “wicked” stepmother Lauren has grown ever more complicated, and the situation with her soon-to-be-ex-husband Justin, a San Francisco ADA, is no less confusing. With help from her resourceful assistant Leonardo, Kate’s doing her best to focus on work and avoid her own problems. But with new personal challenges and tough, unconventional cases suddenly on her docket, this newly-minted mediator’s skills are about to be put to the test.

Friday, January 21st

Man Caves NFL, series premiere at 8pm on DIY Network

- In this new male-centered makeover series, contractor Jason Cameron and former NFL great Tony “The Goose” Siragusa team up to create the ultimate Man Caves. Guys need an exclusive space to hang out in their homes — a refuge where they can enjoy what they love, whether it’s a soundproofed basement used as a rock ‘n’ roll lounge and adorned with limited edition guitars; a room where diehard ski fans can chill out with a roaring fireplace and alpine atmosphere; or a lush golf-lover’s paradise, featuring a state-of-the-art virtual reality driving range, media center and top-notch equipment storage space. In each episode of this new series, Jason and The Goose create a man cave solely for one lucky guy, plus offer ideas and expert do-it-yourself instruction to help homeowners everywhere construct their own personal hangouts.

Kitchen Nightmares, season premiere at 8pm on FOX

- World-renowned chef Gordon Ramsay is back for a third course of the ultimate restaurant revival show where he steps out of his own five-star establishments and travels the country visiting some of the most unsanitary and unsuccessful restaurants in America. For many, Ramsay is their last chance to help turn around their businesses or else they’ll be forced to close their doors forever. Each week, Chef Ramsay will observe the inner workings of the chosen establishment to try and get to the root of the problem causing the business to fail. Along the way, he’ll reveal the sometimes harsh and stressful realities of running a restaurant and wastes no time getting down to business as he uses his expertise and professional experience to try and help turn an empty restaurant into the most popular, sought-after venue in town.

Onion News Network, series premiere at 10pm on IFC

- This new parody TV news comedy series brings the parody newspaper/website The Onion’s unparalleled brand of hard-hitting, merciless journalism to television-watching masses. As the nation’s number-one source for breaking news, screaming political arguments and vital information on missing teenage Caucasian girls, Onion News Network will showcase the network’s top-rated prime time show, a hyperactive graphics and sound effect-laden news explosion called “FactZone with Brooke Alvarez,” hosted by the world’s most respected news-reader. The character of Brooke Alvarez is played by Suzanne Sena, best known for her work as an entertainment reporter and host on E! and a breaking news anchor on the Fox News Channel. Brooke’s co-host, Tucker Hope, is played by Todd Alan Crain, who recently became the fourth person to ever host Jeopardy!. The Onion News Network boasts more attack satellites than any other news organization and no other channel has more secret surveillance cameras in homes, businesses, and high-level government offices. The Onion News Network is truly the most powerful name in news.

Spartacus: Gods of the Arena, mini-series premiere at 10pm on Starz

- This six-part miniseries is the prequel to the highly rated Starz original series Spartacus: Blood and Sand, an action drama about the historical figure Spartacus who led a major slave uprising against the Romans. The storyline of the prequel was originally envisioned as a flashback episode but was expanded to a mini-series because Andy Whitfield, who stars as the title character in the original series, was diagnosed with cancer. The mini-series follows the character Gannicus (Dustin Clare), the first gladiator to become Champion of Capua. The House of Batiatus is on the rise, basking in the glow of its infamous champion Gannicus, whose skill with a sword is matched only by his thirst for wine and women. These are the times a young Batiatus has been waiting for. Poised to overthrow his father and take control, he’ll freely betray anyone to ensure his gladiators are in the highest demand. And he’ll have his loyal and calculating wife Lucretia by his side for every underhanded scheme, drawing on the brazen talents of her seductive friend Gaia when it counts. Together, they will stop at nothing to deceive the masses, seize power, and bleed Capua dry.

Portlandia, series premiere at 10:30pm on IFC

- This new 6-part short-based comedy series is created, written by and starring Fred Armisen (SNL) and Carrie Brownstein (vocalist/guitarist of Wild Flag and Sleater-Kinney). Each episode’s character-based shorts draw viewers into Portlandia, the creators’ dreamy and absurd rendering of Portland, Oregon. Portlandia’s inhabitants include but are not limited to: the owners of a feminist book store; a militant bike messenger; an artsy couple who attach cut-outs of birds to everything (“put a bird on it!”); an organic farmer who turns out to be a cult leader; an adult hide and seek league; and a punk rock couple negotiating a “safe word” to help govern their love life.  The show also boasts original music, the majority of which is written and performed by Armisen and Brownstein. An assortment of guest stars also inhabit Portlandia, including Kyle MacLachlan (Twin Peaks, Sex & The City), Aubrey Plaza (Parks and Recreation), Selma Blair (Legally Blonde, Hellboy), Heather Graham (The Hangover), and more.

The new surge of summer series finally arrives this week! Fan favorites premiering this week include Hell’s Kitchen, Wipeout, America’s Got Talent and Tosh.O. But the summer doesn’t really begin until the show that is synonymous with heat, sexiness and burned spy returns. Burn Notice is back for a fourth season on USA followed by the season premiere of Royal Pains, the sophomore hit about a concierge doctor for the rich and not-so-rich in the swanky Hamptons. Interestingly enough, those two shows happen to be the only scripted TV series premiering new seasons this week…apparently reality TV is the king of summer. The Biggest Loser star trainer Jillian Michaels also premieres her new series Losing It With Jillian in which she lives with families across the country to boot them back into shape and good health. PLUS: MTV claims to have found the “New Carrie Bradshaw” – Glamour blogger Shallon Lester stars in the new reality series Downtown Girls about young attractive successful women partying it up in the big apple.

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