Tag Archive: Jersey Shore

Sunday, September 30th

Once Upon A Time, season premiere at 8pm on ABC

The Amazing Race, season premiere at 8pm on CBS

Call the Midwife, series premiere at 8pm on PBS

The Simpsons, season premiere at 8pm on FOX

Bob’s Burgers, season premiere at 8:30pm on FOX

Family Guy, season premiere at 9pm on FOX

The Good Wife, season premiere at 9pm on CBS

Dexter, season premiere at 9pm on Showtime

Revenge, season premiere at 9pm on ABC

American Dad, season premiere at 9:30pm on FOX

666 Park Avenue, season premiere at 10pm on ABC

Homeland, season premiere at 10pm on Showtime

The Mentalist, season premiere at 10pm on CBS

Monday, October 1st

IHeartRadio Music Festival, special music concert from 8 to 10pm on The CW

– Rihanna, Taylor Swift, Brad Paisley, Linkin Park, Bon Jovi, and Mary J. Blige performed at last month’s two-day festival in Las Vegas. But will The CW air Green Day frontman Billie Joe Armstrong’s now-legendary “I’m not f—ing Justin Bieber, you motherf—ers!” rant? I hope so.

Tuesday, October 2nd

Raising Hope, season premiere at 8pm on FOX

– Entering its third season, Raising Hope is the critically acclaimed comedy from Emmy Award winner Greg Garcia (“My Name is Earl”) that follows the continuing comic adventures of the Chance family as they raise an adorable toddler named Hope (guest stars Baylie and Rylie Cregut). At 23, Jimmy (Lucas Neff) unexpectedly became a single parent. Now his life’s goal is to be the world’s best dad. Jimmy’s parents, Virginia (Emmy Award nominee Martha Plimpton) and Burt (Garret Dillahunt), who had Jimmy at the tender age of 15, don’t mind being back in the baby game. They made mistakes with Jimmy, but now with their granddaughter, they finally have the opportunity to get everything right. The Chances live with Jimmy’s erratic great-grandmother, Maw Maw (2011 Emmy Award nominee Cloris Leachman). Jimmy works at Howdy’s Supermarket, which gives him a good excuse to spend more time with his long sought-after girlfriend, SABRINA (Shannon Woodward), a sardonic checkout clerk who has become a constant in the Chance family. As Season Two came to a close, the Chance family learned that Hope’s serial killer mom, Lucy (guest star Bijou Phillips), had miraculously escaped capital punishment and was preparing to fight for custody of her daughter – that is, until a freak bus accident ended Lucy’s life once and for all (fingers crossed!). In the Season three premiere, Golden Globe Award winner Tippi Hedren and her real-life daughter, Academy Award nominee and Golden Globe Award winner Melanie Griffith, guest-star as Sabrina’s grandmother and mother, respectively. Also this season, a family member moves out of the house; Sabrina’s mom gets a new boyfriend (guest star Wilmer Valderrama); a fundraising competition turns the Chance family into mobsters; and the entire Chance clan celebrates an early Christmas before the world ends – according to the ancient Mayan calendar, that is – on Dec. 21, 2012.

Giuliana & Bill, season premiere at 8pm on Style

E! News anchor Giuliana Rancic and her husband, season one apprentice winner Bill Rancic, have struggled to achieve their happy ending after four years of trying to conceive a child and Giuliana’s battle with breast cancer last year. With her cancer in recession, the couple finally got pregnant via a gestational surrogate. In the season finale, viewers got a behind the scenes look as Giuliana and Bill viewed their baby’s ultrasound, giving them the news they have been waiting for – they are now in the “safe zone.” This season, we see the happy couple before their son Edward arrived to deprive them of all sleep and sanity. Furthermore, Giuliana has announced her decision to show the baby’s birth on the show this season.

Hart of Dixie, season premiere at 8pm on The CW

– Season two returns with fast-talking New Yorker Zoe Hart (Rachel Bilson), whose carefully planned life as a cardio-thoracic surgeon in New York City somehow went awry. Zoe is now officially a general practitioner in tiny BlueBell, Alabama, where the neighbors take care of one another, the mailman knows your name, there’s a parade every Tuesday…but the townsfolk still aren’t quite sure what to make of Dr. Zoe Hart. Yet she won’t let that discourage her from being the best GP in the country. Last season, arriving in quaint, picturesque Bluebell, Zoe warmed to town golden boy, George Tucker (Scott Porter), and clashed with Dr. Brick Breeland (Tim Matheson). Zoe’s presence will continue to cause friction with Brick’s daughter Lemon (Jaime King) — the sweet southern belle that struggles to keep things civil with Zoe, especially after George calls off his wedding with Lemon, and all of BlueBell blames Dr. Hart. Zoe lives in the guesthouse of her best friend and Bluebell’s mayor, Lavon Hayes (Cress Williams), her confidant and steadfast supporter. Next door, local bad-boy and mischievous charmer Wade Kinsella (Wilson Bethel) sparks a little fire within Zoe that leads to romance, despite the torch she carries for George.

Wednesday, October 3rd

Supernatural, season premiere at 9pm on The CW

– The thrilling and terrifying journey of the Winchester Brothers continues with the eighth season of Supernatural on The CW. Twenty-seven years ago, Sam Winchester (Jared Padalecki) and Dean Winchester (Jensen Ackles) lost their mother to a mysterious and demonic supernatural force. Subsequently, their father John (Jeffrey Dean Morgan, “Watchmen”) raised them to be soldiers. He taught them about the paranormal evil that lives in the dark corners and on the back roads of America…and he taught them how to kill it. Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean (Jensen Ackles) have spent the last seven years battling the things that go bump in the night. Over the years, with the help of both fallen-angel, Castiel (Misha Collins, “24”), and the King of Hell, Crowley (Mark A. Sheppard), the Winchesters have straddled the line between good and evil. Last season, the boys encountered their worst enemy yet, Leviathan, a highly adaptable, seemingly unkillable foe that takes the form of billionaire Dick Roman. Roman’s plan is to turn the human race into a walking buffet for the Leviathan to feed on once the world has been taken over. Roman discovers the existence of a tablet that is the only source on how to kill the Leviathan and stops at nothing to get it. The Winchesters, along with Castiel, also discover the tablet and the young prophet, Kevin Tran (Osric Chau), who is the only one who can decipher the text. Using the tablet, the boys are able to beat the Leviathan, but after the blast, Dean and Castiel find themselves in Purgatory and Sam finds himself alone. Season Eight begins with Dean’s seemingly impossible escape from Purgatory, though Castiel is nowhere to be found.  However, Dean isn’t alone.  He’s returned with a mysterious comrade-in-arms whose reason for escape is perhaps more than Dean bargained for.  Meanwhile, Sam finds himself reconciling the life he discovered while Dean was gone with Dean’s sudden reappearance.  As the boys struggle with their unexpected reunion, they make a shocking discovery that could lead them on a deeply personal mission to settle old scores.  If only they could agree – is this a “family business” or isn’t it?.

Buying and Selling, series premiere at 9pm on HGTV

– Join the Property Brothers, Drew and Jonathan Scott, as they help homeowners sell their current home and buy a new property in HGTV’s new series, Buying and Selling. Jonathan renovates the family’s current home for a successful sale, while Drew checks out the best options for the family’s new property. Drew then oversees the selling of the renovated home and the buying of a new house.

Presidential Election Debate #1, live programming from 9pm to 10:30pm on ABC, CBS, NBC, FOX

– Jim Lehrer hosts this debate about domestic policy between President Barack Obama and Mitt Romney. If only Miss Brits could mini-clap for their answers.

Life After Top Chef, series premiere at 10pm on Bravo

– For the first time, cameras are taken outside of the Top Chef kitchen and into the lives of Bravo Media’s most beloved former cheftestants in Life After Top Chef. The show follows Richard Blais in Atlanta, Jen Carroll in Philadelphia, Spike Mendelsohn in D.C., and Fabio Viviani in Los Angeles as they reach milestones in both their personal lives and culinary careers, from opening their own restaurants to expanding franchises and establishing themselves as culinary leaders in the food world. Richard Blais is a perfectionist with a relentless mind, and after losing Top Chef: Chicago Season 4, he came back with a vengeance and ultimately won Top Chef All-Stars. If there’s one female chef who can intimidate the guys, it’s badass Jen Carroll. As the bright and shining star of Chef Eric Ripert’s restaurant empire, she left her most recent post as Executive Chef at 10 Arts in Philadelphia to head out on her own. Spike Mendelsohn competed on Top Chef to gain notoriety, and quickly became a household name. Fan favorite Fabio Viviani won over America in Top Chef: New York Season 5 with his thick Italian accent, and suave yet gregarious nature.

Thursday, October 4th

30 Rock, season premiere at 8pm on NBC

– A fulfilling career. True love. Children. A supportive boss who’s good for a laugh despite being a Republican. Can’t a working woman have it all? The show seeks to answer that question definitively for women everywhere, but promises that for Tina Fey’s Liz Lemon, that resolution will be, as always, comically odd and outlandish. James Marsden’s hunky hot dog vendor Chris will be back as Liz’s beau, and two election-themed episodes are in the words. Jenna (Jane Krakowski) will be planning her wedding to Jenna impersonator Paul (Will Forte) with Liz as the (reluctant) maid of honor. Newly single Jack (Alec Baldwin) will juggle five different women at once while making a play for greater power within Kabletown. Executive producer Robert Carlock promises the 13-episode swan song will consist of great 30 Rock episodes, and not always weighted with end-of-series heaviness.

Jersey Shore, season premiere at 10pm on MTV

– Summer after summer, we’ve watched them party, tan, and throw-down on the Jersey Shore. And now, America’s favorite roommates head to the shore one last time. Fresh out of rehab, Mike “The Situation” is navigating the party-world of clubs and nightlife while maintaining his sobriety and mending relationships with his former roommates. MVP is finally back!  And with Mike’s newfound maturity, he may even decide to make it official with his on-and-off girl Paula. Deena is in love for the first time and turns to hardcore partying while struggling with being away from her boyfriend. Jenni and Roger’s relationship continues to grow and get pushed to its limits. Speaking of rocky relationships, Sammi and Ron are back together. In the bromance department, Vinny & Pauly are still going strong. And all the roommates rally around Snooki as she goes through her pregnancy as only she can! It’s a Jersey Shore Baby on the way and all the girls throw Snooki a shower. Seaside is home and to this Jersey Shore family, there’s no better place to bring up baby. But even with impending adulthood, you can’t tame this crew. The more things change, the more they stay the same.


Sunday, January 1st

Mob Wives, season premiere at

Monday, January 2nd

The Bachelor, season premiere at 8pm on ABC

Pretty Little Liars, midseason premiere at 8pm on ABC Family

Antiques Roadshow, season premiere at 8pm on PBS

Celebrity Wife Swap, series premiere at 10pm on ABC

It’s a Brad, Brad World, series premiere at 10pm on Bravo

Tuesday, January 3rd

The Biggest Loser: No Excuses, season premiere at 8pm on NBC

Work It!, series premiere at 8:30pm on ABC

Jane by Design, series premiere at 9pm on ABC Family

Wednesday, January 4th

Steven Seagal Lawman, season premiere at 10pm on A&E

Thursday, January 5th

Project Runway All Stars, series premiere at 9pm on Lifetime

Jersey Shore, season premiere at 9pm on MTV

Friday, January 6th

Portlandia, season premiere at 10pm on IFC

Merlin, season premiere at 10pm on Syfy

The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret, season premiere at 10:30pm on IFC

Saturday, January 7th

Dog Whisperer with Cesar Milan, season premiere at 8pm on Nat Geo Wild

My Cat From Hell, season premiere at 8pm on Animal Planet

Monday, January 3rd

The Bachelor, season premiere from 8 to 10pm on ABC

– The self-proclaimed “most controversial season of The Bachelor so far” all hinges on the fact that the infamous season 11 bachelor Brad Womack who chose NOBODY in the end has come back to find his wife after three years of self-reflection and intensive therapy. After Brad left both Jenni Croft and DeAnna Pappas crying and alone in the season finale, he was the most hated man in America. Thereafter, Brad describes a journey of working on his commitment issues, which all stem from being abandoned by his father as a child. The biggest challenge for Brad? Proving to the new bachelorettes that he is really a changed man and that he won’t have a problem picking a woman he loves to be his wife. He also has to prove that he isn’t a total a**hole.

Pretty Little Liars, midseason premiere at 8pm on ABC Family

– In the little town of Rosewood, four estranged friends are hiding dark secrets that, if exposed, could ruin their almost-perfect lives. One year ago, Alison, the Queen Bee of their group, disappeared and the girls swore they’d never tell what really happened that night. They thought their secrets would bond them together, but just the opposite is true. Now, as the mystery surrounding Alison’s disappearance resurfaces, the girls begin getting messages from “A,” saying – and threatening – things only Alison would know. But it couldn’t be Alison. Could it? Whoever it is, they seem to know all the girls’ secrets, and seem to be watching their every move. In the summer finale, a new piece of evidence led the police to officially announce that Toby Cavanaugh is wanted for the murder of Alison DiLaurentis, though Emily, Spencer, Aria and Hanna have their doubts they’ve nabbed the right suspect. When Hanna is abruptly dumped from the guest list of Mona’s birthday party, the rest of the girls plan to attend to scope out the scene and see if “A” is also in attendance. Later, Hanna sneaks into the party and finally spots the elusive “A” leaving behind a clue, but shortly thereafter “A” retaliates by running her over with a car.

Greek, season premiere at 9pm on ABC Family

– The ABC Family original dramedy follows the students at Cyprus-Rhodes University whose life focuses on the social minefield that is the Greek system, centering on the fictional fraternities, Kappa Tau Gamma (ΚΤΓ) and Omega Chi Delta (ΩΧΔ), and the fictional sorority, Zeta Beta Zeta (ΖΒZ). The show stars active Zeta member Casey (played by Kelsey Grammer’s daughter Spencer), who is in a love triangle with Kappa Cappie and Omega Chi President Evan all throughout college. At the end of last season the Gamma Psi (ZBZ’s rival) house burns down, and the ZBZ house is to blame but eventually Casey breaks down from the guilt and confesses what happened. In the final episode Cappie tells Casey he loves her and wants to lavaliere her. Casey she tells him she’s decided to go away to George Washington Law School after all, sending Cappie into a rage and ending with him breaking up with her. The fourth and final season opens with Casey, Evan, & Ashleigh‘s graduation day from Cyprus-Rhodes and Casey preparing to move away to Washington, DC.

Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives, season premiere at 9pm on Food Network

– As host of the hit primetime game show Minute to Win It, it’s a wonder that the bleach-haired Guy Fieri also finds the time to host three other shows on the Food Network! The season 2 winner of The Next Food Network Star is certainly taking that title seriously. Diners, Drive-ins and Dives are popular again thanks to faithful baby boomers, a slew of younger fans and a whole new generation of owners. Hit the road with Guy as he travels across the country visiting classic “greasy spoon” spots, from a roadside shack in Tarpley, Texas to a Las Vegas sports bar with stellar stromboli.

In The Bedroom With Dr. Laura Berman, series premiere at 10pm on OWN

– Dr. Laura Berman wants you to have great sex. With more than 20 years of experience as a sex educator, researcher and therapist, Dr. Berman has the tips and tricks you and your partner need to uncover what’s really going on between the sheets. Watch as this New York Times best-selling author and a Sirius XM radio host makes house calls to help couples confront their intimacy issues head on. No issue is off limits with Dr. Berman and she isn’t afraid to talk specifics.

Tuesday, January 4th

The Biggest Loser: Couples, season premiere from 8 to 10pm on NBC

– The 10th season of the hit reality competition series revolves around the new theme of “paying it forward” and 21 contestant hopefuls vying for a spot at the ranch to get healthy and change their lives forever. With obesity now one of the leading causes of preventable death in the United States, The Biggest Loser wanted to broaden their reach this season, pay it forward and motivate communities – not just contestants – to get healthy. So trainers Bob Harper and Jillian Michaels and host Alison Sweeney travel to seven cities in the premiere episode to put contestant hopefuls through fitness challenges. The two candidates who complete their fitness challenge first win a spot at the ranch. Those who don’t make it will get a chance to vie for a spot on the show in a later episode. The new season players include Burgandy (Eagle Mountain, Utah), a military wife, foster parent and mother of five; Aaron (Kent, Ohio), the son of an alcoholic who hopes to be a better role model to his own son; and Montina (Houston, Texas), a background vocalist for Beyonce who wants to look as good as she sounds.

Live to Dance, series premiere from 8 to 10pm on CBS

– Paula Abdul, the beloved former judge on American Idol, is taking her star power and legion of worshippers to a new network to host a reality competition series that is trying to compete with So You Think You Can Dance but really is just a dance-only version of America’s Got Talent. Primarily known as The Paula Abdul Dance Show because Paula is executive producer, creative partner and lead expert for Live to Dance. Oh wait, I almost forgot there are other people on this show besides Paula: rounding out the judges’ panel is Travis Payne, choreographer for Michael Jackson, and founding member of Pussycat Dolls Kimberly Wyatt. Also, an Australian cutie named Andrew Günsberg will take up hosting duties. The show invites dancers with raw ability, in any age group from across the nation (either performing solo or in a group) can audition in any form of dancing – ballet to break dance, tap to tango, or show us something we’ve never seen before with your own unique fusion of styles – rock ballet, hip-hop clogging or contemporary mixed with capoeira. The most talented dancers who make it through the callback process will have the chance to perform live on CBS in the semi-finals and finals, where they will battle for the right to be crowned LIVE TO DANCE champion and be awarded a $500,000 prize.

V, season premiere at 9pm on ABC

– Despite less-than-stellar ratings at the end of its first season, V is returning for a short 10-episode second season that promises to be sharper and more intriguing. The remake of the 1983 miniseries chronicles the arrival on Earth of a technologically advanced alien species which ostensibly comes in peace, but actually has sinister motives. The Visitors, led by their charismatic High Commander Anna, came bearing gifts of medical miracles and technological breakthroughs far beyond our wildest imaginations. As the world’s fascination with the V’s grew, Counterterrorism agent Erica Evans discovered a secret hidden beneath the skin of every V – a secret that may threaten the lives of everyone close to her, including her teen son Tyler who is in a romantic relationship with Anna’s daughter Lisa. Erica assembled a group of people skeptical of the V’s intentions and joined the Fifth Column, V’s living on earth who have turned against Anna’s leadership. Together, they plot to bring down Anna before the V’s are able to carry out their doomsday plan for Earth.

Permanent Mark, series premiere at 11pm on SPIKE

– His name is “Permanent Mark” and he travels the globe seeking out the most unique and the strangest tattoos known to man. Follow tattoo artist Mark Walters as he travels the globe on a quest to find the great masters of tattooing. See how far he’ll go and how much pain he’ll endure for the chance to experience the world’s best ink.

Southland, season premiere at 10pm on TNT

– The gritty “too real for TV” cop drama cancelled by NBC shortly before its second season aired is now embarking on its third season after being rescued by TNT. From Emmy Award winners John Wells, Ann Biderman and Chris Chulack comes a raw and authentic look at a police unit in Los Angeles. From the beaches of Malibu to the streets of East Los Angeles, Southland is a fast-moving drama that will take viewers inside the lives of cops, criminals, victims and their families. Michael Cudlitz (A River Runs Through It) plays John Cooper a seasoned Los Angeles cop, assigned to train young rookie Ben Sherman (Ben McKenzie, The O.C.). Cooper’s honest, no-nonsense approach to the job leaves Sherman questioning whether or not he has what it takes to become a police officer. The season 3 opener finds Officer Cooper battling personal demons, dodging bullets during a bank robbery and responding to a violent confrontation at a toy store.

Wednesday, January 5th

Minute to Win It, moved to new night on Wednesdays at 8pm on NBC

People’s Choice Awards 2011, special awards show from 9 to 11pm on CBS

– Sure, celebrities love to be honored by their industry, but what they really live for is the validation of ordinary citizens. Queen Latifah hosts, Kid Rock and Diddy-Dirty Money (is that supposed to be P. Diddy/Diddy? Stop changing your name dude, you will always be P. Diddy!) perform, and stars like Ashton Kutcher and Stephen Moyer present trophies. See if your esteemed favorites like Inception and guilty pleasures (Jersey Shore!) pick up trophies tonight. As much as I love any excuse to see the cast of Jersey Shore, I won’t be tuning in because I can’t bear to watch the cast of Twilight win any more undeserved awards, especially the stupidly awkward Kristen Stewart who is painful to watch.

Are We There Yet?, season premiere at 10pm on TBS

– The TBS comedy series is loosely based on the 2005 film of the same name and its 2007 sequel Are We Done Yet? America’s favorite blended family is back in the neighborhood for a second season. Terry Crews and Essence Atkins star in this popular sitcom as a newly married couple adjusting to life as newlyweds and the complexities of raising children, while also dealing with the everyday challenges of romance, friendship and the drama of extended family. Teala Dunn and Coy Stewart co-star as Nick and Suzanne’s children, 14-year-old Lindsey and 10-year-old Kevin. Keesha Sharp is Suzanne’s best friend and coworker, Gigi, who has a taste for men and the finer things in life. Special guest star, Ice Cube will return as Suzanne’s brother, Terrence.

Thursday, January 6th

Winter Wipeout, season premiere at 8pm on ABC

– The sadistically hilarious summer fave returns for a new run filled with snowy, wintery obstacles (“Nana’s House” and “Snowplow Sweeper” are ice-cold brutal) and John Henson’s subversively salty quips. Snowflakes aren’t the only things falling and flying through the air, as snow balls are hurled at contestants, who are themselves literally launched into the frozen tundra. Expect an avalanche of laughs as they take on a spinning ski lift, try to outrun polar bears and avoid hockey pucks to the head — all in a completely new winter Wipeout Zone and amid a snowy blizzard — on this winterized version of Wipeout. And of course, there are the big balls…it just wouldn’t be Wipeout without the big red balls.

Ace of Cakes, season premiere at 10pm on Food Network

– Be sure to tune in for the 10th and final season of this reality show for sweet tooths. Meet Chef Duff. Shaping cakes with drill saws and blowtorches, and staffing his bakery with fellow rock musicians, he’s not your typical baker. However, he’s one of the most sought-after decorative cake makers in the country. Every week at Charm City Cakes in Baltimore, Duff and his team of artists try to meet the demands of creating up to 20 cakes a week, some of which take up to 29 hours to build! From a tilted Dr. Seuss-like seven-tiered wedding cake to an almost perfect replica of Wrigley Field, Duff can build it. Go behind the scenes to see how he and his fellow cake bakers dish up sugar and spice in the most unexpected and entertaining ways.

Jersey Shore, season premiere at 10pm on MTV

– It’s T-shirt time! New Jersey’s most recognizable guidos are reunited and returning to Seaside, NJ – where all the fist-pumping magic began and a pop culture phenomenon was born – for the hit reality show’s third season. This outrageous and hilarious dysfunctional family goes back to work at the tee-shirt shop, kicks back in their original shore house and picks up right where it left off. Even though they’re still experiencing some fallout from “the note” in Miami, nothing can stop the family dinners, G.T.L and gorilla hunting that have bonded them from the beginning. All seven roomies agree they are glad to be back and that Angelina is gone. Too bad none of them know Snooki has invited her BFF Deena Nicole Cortese to fill the void. This cast is about to double their pleasure because like her diminutive, fireball bestie Snooki, Deena is going to prove that big fun and big drama continue to come in small packages. More zany and entertaining than ever, these roommates are going to hit the boardwalk, beat up the beat in the club and continue to prove that while you can summer a lot of places — the Jersey Shore is truly unforgettable.

Friday, January 7th

Your OWN Show: Oprah’s Search for the Next TV Star, series premiere at 9pm on OWN

– Ten contestants with determination, passion and drive were plucked from obscurity from thousands of auditions to compete to get their own TV show on OWN: The Oprah Winfrey Network. Hosts Nancy O’Dell and Carson Kressley guide the hopefuls through intense challenges designed to see if they have what it takes to have their own show. In each episode, the contestants are mentored by A-list hosts. Dr. Phil, Suze Orman, Gayle King and more will make appearances on the series, bestow knowledge to the contestants and judge the episodes. Challenges will range from booking interviews and researching story ideas to successfully completing a pilot presentation. The winner will get his or her very own show!

Merlin, season premiere at 10pm on Syfy

– This fantasy drama series updates the story of the infamous sorcerer of Arthurian legend for a new audience. The mythical city of Camelot is a fantastical realm of legendary beasts and mysterious peoples. A dangerous world in which magic has been banned by the ruthless tyrant, Uther Pendragon. When Merlin, a young man gifted with extraordinary magical powers, arrives in the kingdom, he quickly makes enemies, including the heir to Uther’s crown, the headstrong Prince Arthur. But guided by Uther’s wise physician, Gaius, Merlin is soon using his talents not just to survive but also to unlock Camelot’s mystical secrets. As he does so, he discovers that his destiny and that of the kingdom’s young leader in waiting, Arthur, are inextricably linked.

Four Weddings, season premiere at 10pm on TLC

– What happens when four brides and four weddings compete against each other for the honeymoon of their dreams? Every bride thinks she’s having the perfect wedding, but what if four brides agree to be guests at each other’s weddings to decide which is best? Tune into find out as these brides score each other’s big day for a fabulous honeymoon vacation prize.

Saturday, January 8th

It’s Me or the Dog, season premiere at 8pm on Animal Planet

– From unruly retrievers to pampered pugs, renowned dog trainer Victoria Stilwell has seen them all. But what about the owners who live with them? It’s not just the dogs that need help! This reality series follows Victoria Stilwell as she tries to restore harmony in homes where pets are running riot and the family is in the dog house. The season premiere features The Real Housewife of New York star Jill Zarin, who feeds her chubby Chihuahua Ginger expensive human food like filet minon on a daily basis.

Sunday July 25th

My Boys, season premiere with back-to-back episodes at 9pm on TBS

– The sitcom revolves around PJ Franklin, a professional sports columnist looking for love within her world, which is dominated by her group of male friends. Her “boys” are her family, which sometimes hinders PJ’s dating life, as the men she tries to date don’t know how to react to her unconventional interests and the all-important men in her life. In a continuation of last season’s cliffhanger, Bobby and Elsa decide to call off their wedding, and Bobby goes on the honeymoon trip alone. Back in Chicago Andy and his wife have a new baby, and the guys are having a moustache-growing contest. Against Stephanie’s advice PJ decides to tell Bobby how she feels about him, and she finds out that he has the same feelings. Bobby and PJ try to keep their relationship a secret but when the gang finds out, Bobby finds it difficult wearing the boyfriend hat around the guys.

I Survived, season premiere at 9pm on Bio

– This candid docu-series allows survivors to explain, in their own words, how they overcame unbelievable circumstances — offering insight into what got them through the experience that changed their lives forever. It’s storytelling at its most dramatic, most basic and most honest.

Mad Men, season premiere at 10pm on AMC

– The three-time consecutive Golden Globe and Emmy winner for outstanding drama series is back for the long-awaited premiere of season four. Set in 1960s New York, the sexy, stylized and provocative AMC drama follows the lives of the ruthlessly competitive men and women of Madison Avenue advertising, an ego-driven world where key players make an art of the sell. Last season stunned audiences with its cliffhanger finale, as Don Draper’s professional and personal lives unexpectedly imploded. In the premiere, the Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce Advertising Agency has relocated to its new offices in the Time & Life Building. Don Draper (Jon Hamm) has to put on a show for a Wall Street Journal reporter after a PR disaster. Meanwhile, January Jones’ Betty is anything but the perfect picture of a happy newlywed wife.

Monday July 26th

Fish Warrior, series premiere at 9pm on NatGeo

– Lifelong angler and world record-holding fisherman Jakub Vâgner embarks on extreme fishing expeditions to the most remote regions of the world. In the premiere episode, Vâgner treks deep into the Amazon in search of a river monster essentially unchanged since the Jurassic age — the arapaima. These massive predators can eat just about anything; even snatching up birds and monkeys from the water’s surface! It’s a grueling expedition, but after days in the jungle’s extreme environment, Vâgner reels in the biggest arapaima he’s ever seen. It’s a 10-foot-long specimen, measuring nearly 5 feet in girth and weighing a whopping 325 pounds!

Tuesday July 27th

Breakthrough With Tony Robbins, series premiere at 8pm on NBC

– This new series consists of inspirational, hour-long specials starring Robbins and his team of experts who will help participants and their families overcome complex challenges and personal obstacles, and turn their lives around. Anthony Robbins has served as a key adviser to renowned world and business leaders. He has an unrivaled ability to distill complex strategies into simple and powerful models that can be applied immediately to produce measurable, lasting results. Robbins, who has dedicated himself to giving through both his work and philanthropic endeavors, will inspire people to find the tools to change their own lives, and also to reach out and help others as well. Guiding the participants through a series of tough challenges that will bring them to the precipice of change, Robbins will help empower each of them to reach their personal goals.

MasterChef, series premiere at 9pm on FOX

– It is officially impossible to ever not catch Gordon Ramsay on TV all-year-round. The famous chef known for barking orders on his hit FOX series Hell’s Kitchen and Kitchen Nightmare has brought a new culinary competition series to the States. MasterChef conducted a nationwide search for the best home cooks in America, and through a series of exciting elimination rounds, will turn one of them into a culinary master. Contestants will be judged and mentored by Chef Gordon Ramsay. Joining him on the judging panel are restaurateur and wine maker Joe Bastianich, owner of some of the most-celebrated Italian restaurants across the country; and Graham Elliot, the youngest four-star chef in the U.S. and mastermind behind Chicago’s first “bistronomic” restaurant. In addition to propelling the contestants to new careers as professional chefs, the winner of America’s first-ever MasterChef will also walk away with a quarter of a million dollars and will publish his or her own cookbook.

Growing Up Twisted, series premiere at 10pm on A&E

– Who couldn’t use another celebrity reality series? At least this one isn’t about a Kardashian sister or Lindsay Lohan… Dee Snider is instantly recognizable as the front man of heavy metal band Twisted Sister that was all the rage in the 80s. But really, he’s just one of six – a regular guy navigating life in the suburbs of New York with his powerhouse wife, Suzette, and their four kids. They are an off-beat but tight-knit family with children who are fiercely independent and strong-willed: Jesse is an aspiring rock musician, husband and new father; Shane is the resident comic; Cody’s a budding filmmaker; and Cheyenne is daddy’s little girl, making the tough transition to teenager. Despite their father’s rock star status, they are just like every other family… only not at all.

The Colony, season premiere at 10pm on Discovery

– What would you do in the wake of a global catastrophe? Even if you survived it, could you survive the aftermath? This reality series follows seven to ten cast members in an environment that simulates life after a global catastrophe. Season Two introduces viewers to a new group of volunteers with differing backgrounds, skills and personalities, to bear witness to how these colonists will survive and rebuild in a world without electricity, running water, government or outside communication. Filmed on 10 acres of abandoned neighborhood on the Gulf Coast of Louisiana, the show’s simulated environment had been left decimated by Hurricane Katrina, a naturally occurring disaster zone that was slated to be bulldozed and turned into a public park. The series features on-going commentary and input from experts in homeland security, engineering, psychology and the medical community, with expertise and insight into what the future could look like after a biological disaster.

Wednesday July 28th

Plain Jane, series premiere at 9pm on CW

– Another shallow makeover show was just what we needed, and who else but the CW to make girls feel bad about themselves for not looking like supermodels? This new summer reality series aims to transform one woman from the inside out to reveal a brand new woman. Each of the eight episodes will feature a new “Jane” searching for the change of a lifetime. With the help of British fashion expert Louise Roe, each Plain Jane will receive a head-to-toe style transformation, including new wardrobe and confidence-building exercises. Once the transformation is complete, the formerly Plain Jane will surprise her unsuspecting crush with the new look and reveal her true feelings to him… I’m sorry but I totally missed where the show even TRIED to pretend that they would actually change “Jane” from the inside, I suppose they assume anybody who is suddenly attractive will instantly feel better inside and being proud of your appearance is really all that matters!

Thursday July 29th

Project Runway, 90-minute season premiere at 9pm on Lifetime

– The talent competition that at it’s peak brought the world the fierce Christian Syriano before it died down in a lukewarm past 2 seasons since its move to Lifetime, is back for season 8. Hosted by supermodel and fashion maven Frau Heidi Klum, the hit series provides 17 talented designers with an opportunity to launch their careers in fashion, under the watchful eye of mentor and Liz Claiborne Chief Creative Officer, the fabulous Tim Gunn. Judges, the painfully plainly-dressed Michael Kors and the queen of the death stares Nina Garcia, weigh in on the best and worst of the runway.

Jersey Shore, season premiere at 10pm on MTV

– The most highly-anticipated show of the summer has finally arrived…the show that made the “Situation,” the poof and GTL household names to everybody who is remotely tuned into pop culture, even celebrities love this guilty pleasure show that is too much fun to stop watching! The smash hit reality series stars 8 fist-pumping, tanned, Jersey guidos and guidettes whose main goals in life are to look good and hook-up with other attractive Italian-Americans. The ethnic-centered series stirred controversy among Italian-American groups who petitioned MTV to cancel the show for making all Italians look like shallow twenty-somethings who drink excessively and engage in sexually inappropriate behavior. But of course the most genius show of the past decade survived these complaints and went on to gain a huge following for itself. For the first-half of season 2, the guidos are in Miami over Spring Break enjoying the sunny weather and tearing it up Jersey-style. The area code may have changed but the drama remains the same as The Situation and Pauly D creep on girls, Snooki and Jwoww go gorilla hunting and Sammi and Ron pick up right where they left off (which, if you didn’t catch the reunion show, was a heated and dramatic break-up over Sammi’s late-night talks with the Situation!). The haters will be hatin’, the Ron Ron Juice will be flowin’ and Snooki will be Snookin’ on Season Two of Jersey Shore.

On The Road with Austin & Santino, series premiere at 10:30pm on Lifetime

– After the failed experiment that was Models of the Runway, Lifetime is trying their hand at another Project Runway spin-off, but this time they are focusing on some of the designers we love and miss. Breakout stars from seasons 1 and 2 Austin Scarlett and Santino Rice have made names for themselves on and off the catwalk with their unique styles and eyes for fashion, working with some of the biggest stars in the business. In this new reality series, the talented designers team up for the first time ever to travel to, and immerse themselves in the culture of, small towns across America to create new, dream-come-true looks for special women in unique situations as they celebrate such life milestones as anniversaries, birthdays, balls, graduations and bachelorette parties. But if you saw Austin and Santino on Runway you would know that this pair is the antithesis of a match made in heaven…or is it? Austin Scarlett is known for his personally glamorous style (and passing as a girl on the runway when a model was MIA) almost as much as for the exquisite one-of-a-kind fashions he creates. Santino Rice is known as much for his scruffy beard as his spot-on impersonations of Tim Gunn. Either adored or despised for his cutting wit and directional designs, Rice is still undeniably one of the most memorable and discussed designers from the series.

THE BEST SHOW EVER started filming season 2 in South Beach with the original cast on Monday. JERSEY SHORE: Spring Break in Miami Edition has stirred up some controversy among us fans…how can it take place anywhere other than the Jersey Shore? There are no other Italians in Miami, that would have to be for the Cuban spin-off! Well my loyal (?) followers, the Jersey Shore is not warm this time of year and if you want your next dose of Jersey Shore sooner (summer) rather than later (winter), the cast clearly had to go someplace warmer so they could start filming now. And if the cast can go to any of the top spring-break destinations, the rowdy college kids with fake IDs whiling out “Girls Gone Wild”-style in South Beach is right up the guidos’ alley.

But really, the cast can go anywhere that has a tanning salon, a gym, bars, clubs with house music, a hot tub, drunk guys who think they’re tough trying to fight Ronnie, desperate girls willing to sleep with The Situation, grenades and grenade launchers, and a refrigerator that is stocked with pickles. They just have to get the guidos on a plane, pack the quacking duck, lock up Sammi’s hair extensions in a cage and put it in the cargo hold, get an extra seat on the plane for JWOWW’s double WW’s, pay for the unusual baggage size of Pauly D’s tanning bed, ship all the “I Love The Situation” booty shorts, play Scarface during the fight and the guidos are good to go. However, Jersey Shore will remain somewhat true to its roots as the original cast will conclude season 2 by returning to the infamous spot where it all began: Seaside Heights, as reported by TV Guide. Apparently, the guidos running amuck in Miami couldn’t find any other “juiced tanned guidos” to hook up with besides each other and their excessive guido fabulousness annoyed all the Cubans straight into haters-ville.

But in other Jersey Shore news, MTV and the casting agency posted an online casting call “to explore the possibility to adding new roommates to ‘carry on the legacy,’” according to TV Guide. Eight tanned hypersexual guidos in one house is already more drama (and of course more entertainment) than anybody thought humanly possible, now they are going to add some newcomers into the sacred guido household of drunken debauchery and inappropriate hookups? Uh oh, we got a situation!

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I don’t usually write about Mercy, the nurse drama on NBC, but this week’s episode was so evidently “inspired” by one of my all-time favorite shows Jersey Shore I had to. Frankly, I’m kinda surprised it took the writers this long to spoof the hit MTV reality series considering Mercy Hospital is located in Jersey City, NJ. However, I think they made the right call because the way they were able to use the St. Patty’s day episode to pit the young Irish-Americans against the Italian-Americans was hilarious. The best thing is how the writers managed to exploit as many elements of the Jersey Shore stereotype as possible. Try to keep count as I recap what happened whenever the Jersey Italians were on screen.  

The nurses walk into the ER at the beginning of their workday (we are told sometime before 11am) to find the ER flooded with Jersey Shore-type guidos and guidettes fighting with lots of Irish peeps, all of whom have clearly been drinking. Given the reputation we saw on Jersey Shore that young Italian-Americans like their liquor, they of course had to partake in the drinking holiday. The Irish Americans took issue with Italians celebrating an Irish holiday and they all ended up in the ER with non-serious injuries they sustained while fighting each other at the bar. The nurses and security had to break up several fights between the (already injured) dueling groups as they wait in the ER for approximately 5 minutes.

Of course, the Italian crew is all done up and put together with some serious tans and bling. The girls wear tight clothes, big hoops, big hair, high heels, and heavy makeup. The guys, who are all fit and fancy themselves real tough guys, sport tight sweaters with popped collars and the zipper down to reveal their wife beaters. Larry, the head guido, also has diamond studs in both ears and gelled up hair, although I wouldn’t really call it a blowout, its a little too tame for that.

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