Monday, September 20th
Dancing With the Stars, season premiere at 8pm on ABC
– Three opinionated judges, twelve professional dancers, twelve celebrities, tons of glitter and spray tans, and Tom Bergeron and Brooke Burke. No, we’ll never be able to dance like Chelsie Hightower, Maksim Chmerkovskiy or Cheryl Burke, and that’s exactly why we watch. We can totally relate to the stars competing on the show and it’s pretty cool to know they’re just like us. These actors, athletes, musicians, reality stars, and where-are-they-now personalities start out as lumbering Frankensteins with two left feet, and they slowly transform (we hope) into graceful twinkle-toed Baryshnikovs. The contestants this season have huge graceful dancing shoes to fill after Nicole Scherzinger and Evan Lysacek’s brilliant runs during the epic 10th season. This year’s cast, save “The Situation” and Bristol Palin, leaves much to be desired in terms of colorful characters who can deliver some smooth moves, drama, and comedic relief. But everyone knows that the so-called “stars” are only part of the entertainment. What would DWTS be without Maks’ outbursts at his partner and criticism of the judges, Derek’s hyper-sexual pelvic gyrations (mambo head bobbing in the crotch anyone?), and Edyta’s uber-skimpy costumes? This season veteran pro Edyta Sliwinska, who has yet to win despite being on all 10 seasons, left to study Media Communications at UCLA. Corky Ballas returns to pair with Brady mom Florence Henderson after his successful run with Cloris Leachman in season 7.
Here’s this season’s star-pro pairings:
Michael Bolton and Chelsie Hightower
Brandy and Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Margaret Cho and Louis van Amstel
Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke
Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough
David Hasselhoff and Kym Johnson
Florence Henderson and Corky Ballas
Kyle Massey and Lacey Schwimmer
Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas
Audrina Patridge and Tony Dovolani
Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino and Karina Smirnoff
Kurt Warner and Anna Trebunskaya
And don’t forget to watch the results show on Tuesday at 8pm this week, which moves to its regular slot at 9pm next week.
How I Met Your Mother, season premiere at 8pm on CBS
– This season the showrunners are taking the show back to it’s original sentiment, with much more depth in the show’s relationships and bringing back the big mystery as to who the mother is. We’ll still have the same great laughs from The Goat and Slapsgiving, but we’ll also move the storyline along to come closer to answering the big question as well as other smaller ones, like will soul mates Barney and Robin get back together? This season Ted gets a chance to design the Goliath National Bank building, Marshall and Lily start trying to have a baby, Robin engages in a rivalry with her new coanchor (Laura Bell Bundy), and Barney finally acknowledges that Bob Barker isn’t his father and sets out to find the real one. The premiere features a game-changing wedding, the bride and groom of whom are yet another mystery. This season, Rachel Bilson’s character Cindy bumps into Ted at McClaren’s and Ted is anxious to meet her intriguing roommate, which all clues seem to indicate is the titular mother. Also, producers have cast House’s Jennifer Morrison as a serious love interest for Ted with a long-term arc this season. She’ll be playing Zooey, an activist trying to stop the destruction of a building that will be replaced by one of Ted’s designs. Could one of these women finally be the mother?
House, season premiere at 8pm on FOX
– This Emmy award-winning series is an innovative take on the medical drama in which the villain is a medical malady and the hero is an irreverent, controversial doctor who trusts no one, least of all his patients. Dr. Gregory House (Hugh Laurie), devoid of bedside manner and dealing with his own constant physical pain, uses a cane that punctuates his acerbic, brutally honest demeanor. His behavior often borders on antisocial, but House is a brilliant diagnostician whose unconventional thinking and flawless instincts afford him a great deal of respect. An infectious disease specialist, he thrives on the challenge of solving medical puzzles in order to save lives. In the Season Six finale, House, driven by the loss of a patient he treated at an accident site and confronted with the unexpected news that Cuddy was now engaged, spiraled into despair and considered treating his mental and emotional anguish with Vicodin, potentially prompting the cycle of his dependency and addiction all over again. But in a surprising turn, Cuddy revealed that she called off her engagement and (finally) admitted to House she loves him, despite wishing she didn’t. Also, Thirteen (Olivia Wilde) submitted her leave of absence from the hospital, prompting questions about the status of her health. As Season Seven begins, House and Cuddy attempt to make a real relationship work and face the question as to whether their new relationship will affect their ability to diagnose patients.
Chuck, season premiere at 8pm on NBC
– Our favorite secret agent is back in the one-hour action-comedy series. Chuck Bartowski (Zachary Levi) returns as a regular guy who also happens to be the government’s most vital secret agent. Now that those closest to Chuck know his secret, he must try harder than ever to keep his spy life from interfering with his personal life. But this has never been more difficult – his relationship with superspy Sarah Walker is getting serious, and he’s about to take on his most personal mission yet: finding his mother. This season, Chuck’s assignments take him far from Burbank, with each mission bringing him closer to uncovering what happened to his mom, Mary Elizabeth Bartowski
Rules of Engagement, season premiere at 8:30pm on CBS
– The comedy follows the different phases of male/female relationships, as seen through the eyes of a newly engaged couple, Adam (Oliver Hudson) and Jennifer (Bianca Kajlich), a long-time married pair, Jeff (Patrick Warburton) and Audrey (Megyn Price), and a single guy on the prowl, Russell (David Spade). As they find out, the often confusing stages of a relationship can seem like being on a roller coaster. People can describe the ride to you, but to really know what it’s like you have to experience it for yourself.
Lone Star, series premiere at 9pm on FOX
– In this new drama series, Robert/Bob Allen (James Wolk) is a charismatic and brilliant schemer who has meticulously constructed two lives in two different parts of Texas. Groomed by his father from a young age to be an expert conman, he’s juggling two identities and two women in two very different worlds – all under one mountain of lies. As “Bob,” he lives in Houston and is married to Cat (Adrianne Palicki), the beautiful daughter of Clint Thatcher (Jon Voight), the patriarch of an ultra-wealthy Texas oil family. More than 400 miles away in the suburban west Texas town of Midland, he’s “Robert,” living a second life with his sweet, naive girlfriend, Lindsay Holloway (Eloise Mumford). There he plays the perfect boyfriend while secretly bilking local investors of their savings. While in Houston, he’s a devoted husband, charming Cat and her family to cement his position in the rich family business he aims to clean out. With the cons closing in on him, Bob begins to fear his secret lives may unravel as he becomes divided by his love for two women; his loyalty to his father and mentor, John (David Keith); and his respect for his father-in-law, Clint. Now as he tries to hold his two lives together, while fending off angry investors and the growing suspicions of those around him, Bob puts it all on the line hoping he can beat the odds, leave the schemes behind and keep two separate relationships afloat.
Two and a Half Men, season premiere at 9pm on CBS
– The hit comedy series that is completely uninterrupted by Charlie Sheen’s minor domestic violence and DUI charges is still on course for another season. It’s a comedy about the lives of two brothers, one brother’s son, and the many women who surround them. Charlie Harper is a well-to-do bachelor with a house at the beach, a Mercedes in the garage and an easy way with women. His casual Malibu lifestyle was interrupted when his tightly wound brother, Alan, and Alan’s son, Jake, came to stay with him. Complicating matters further are Charlie and Alan’s narcissistic, emotionally toxic mother, Evelyn; Alan’s deeply neurotic ex-wife, Judith and Charlie’s domineering, unapologetically blue-collar housekeeper, Berta. Despite the complexities of their lives and their own strained relationship, Charlie and Alan have one thing in common – they both love Jake and want what’s best for him. As a result, they manage to create a little family unit that promises to make each of them a better man.
The Event, series premiere at 9pm on NBC
– This new high-concept drama series is an emotional conspiracy action thriller that follows Sean Walker (Jason Ritter), an everyman who investigates the mysterious disappearance of his would-be fiancée Leila (Sarah Roemer), and unwittingly begins to expose the biggest cover-up in U.S. history. Sean’s quest will send ripples through the lives of an eclectic band of strangers, including newly elected U.S. President Elias Martinez (Blair Underwood); Sophia Maguire (Laura Innes), who is the leader of a mysterious group of detainees; and Leila’s shadowy father (Scott Patterson). Their futures are on a collision course in a global conspiracy that could ultimately change the fate of mankind.
Mike & Molly, series premiere at 9:30pm on CBS
– This new comedy is about a working class Chicago couple who find love at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting. Officer Mike Biggs is a good-hearted cop who sincerely wants to lose weight. Mike’s partner, Officer Carl McMillan, is a thin, fast-talking wise-guy who, despite his teasing, encourages Mike on his road to slimness and romance. While speaking at an O.A. meeting, Mike meets Molly Flynn, an instantly likeable fourth-grade teacher with a good sense of humor about her curves. For Molly, focusing on smart choices isn’t easy while living with her sexy older sister, Victoria, and their mother, Joyce, both of whom flaunt their effortless figures while indulging their healthy appetites right in front of her. Mike and Molly found each other in the most unexpected of places. Now, they’re about to find out where their quest for companionship will take them.
Castle, season premiere at 10pm on ABC
– The hit crime dramedy starring crime-fighting partners NYPD detective Beckett (Stana Katic) and successful mystery writer Castle (Nathan Fillion) aka the charming thorn in Beckett’s side is back for a season that sees them in relationships with the wrong people, as in not with each other. This season they also face a more worthy criminal foe, a serial killer nicknamed “The Triple Killer” that will be the bane of their existence on and off all season. But single dad Castle may find his biggest foe at home when his teenage daughter Alexis gets her first serious boyfriend. The premiere sneak peek leaves many questions to be answered when Beckett and her team burst into an apartment on a murderer’s trail to find Castle standing over a dead woman’s body holding a gun forcing Beckett to arrest Castle as he asserts his innocence. We have another kick-ass season to look forward to of crime-fighting, sexual tension, and quick wit to keep us coming back for more.
Hawaii Five-0, series premiere at 10pm on CBS
– Hawaii Five-0 2010 is a contemporary take on the classic series about a new elite federalized task force whose mission is to wipe out the crime that washes up on the Islands’ sun-drenched beaches. Detective Steve McGarrett (the abtastic Alex O’Loughlin), a decorated Naval officer-turned-cop, returns to Oahu to investigate his father’s murder and stays after Hawaii’s Governor persuades him to head up the new team: his rules, her backing, no red tape and full blanket authority to hunt down the biggest “game” in town. Joining McGarrett is Detective Danny “Danno” Williams (Scott Caan), a newly relocated ex-New Jersey cop – a working man in paradise who prefers skyscrapers to the coastline – but whose committed to keeping the Islands safe for his 8-year-old daughter from a failed marriage; and Chin Ho Kelly, an ex-Honolulu Police Detective, and former protégé of McGarrett’s father, wrongly accused of corruption and relegated to a federal security patrol. Chin’s cousin, Kono (Battlestar Gallactica’s Grace Park), is a beautiful and fearless native, fresh out of the academy and eager to establish herself among the department’s elite. McGarrett works on repairing his relationship with his estranged sister Mary Ann and vows to bring closure to their father’s case.
Chase, series premiere at 10pm on NBC
– From super-producer Jerry Bruckheimer and exec producer Jennifer Johnson (Cold Case and Lost), this lightning-fast drama drops viewers smack into the middle of a game of cat-and-mouse as a team of U.S. Marshals hunts down America’s most dangerous fugitives. Kelli Giddish (Past Life) stars as U.S. Marshal Annie Frost, a cowboy boot-wearing deputy whose sharp mind and unique Texas upbringing help her track down violent criminals on the run. Starring as the members of Frost’s elite team are Cole Hauser as Jimmy Godfrey, an East Texas kid who never grew up and is a true American cowboy; Prison Break’s gorgeous Amaury Nolasco who plays Marco Martinez, a good intelligence guy who loves to talk; and Rose Rollins (The L Word), who portrays Daisy Ogbaa, a weapons/tactical specialist and a woman of few words. Rounding out the cast is Jesse Metcalfe (Desperate Housewives), who stars as Luke Watson, the fresh-faced newcomer whose Washington, D.C. upbringing did little to prepare him for the Lone Star State.
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