Tag Archive: Dancing With The Stars


Monday, September 15th

Dancing With the Stars, 2-hour season premiere at 8pm on ABC

– It’s like one of Stefon’s clubs: This season’s dance floor boasts an Olympic athlete (Lolo Jones), a soap hunk (Antonio Sabato Jr.), a YouTube star (Bethany Mota), and a human fire hydrant. (Okay, maybe not that last one.) Plus, there’s Julianne Hough (right), who’s now a judge and will get to critique brother Derek. The final tweak? New showrunner Rob Wade, who wants to amp up the showmanship. ”Freestyle really popped for me,” he says. ”Social media is important to shows like this—it’s important we have things that people can share.” Yep, this show has everything.

Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood, series premiere at 8pm on VH1

– As the newest installment to the record-breaking reality franchise, Love and Hip Hop Hollywood follows the young, hip-hop elite as they strive to either “make” or “maintain” a life in the La La Land of Hollywood! We dive deep into the lives of our cast and discover a turbulent world that lies just beneath the fabulous exterior. From hip-hop artists, to video vixens, to actors, personal assistants, girlfriends, and co-parents, we take an exclusive look behind the curtain at the lives of the hip-hop couples as they struggle to balance their careers and their personal lives. A household name by way of his R&B music, TV shows, and an infamous sex tape with Kim Kardashian, Ray J is has re-invented himself as a heavy-hitting entertainment mogul. His illustrious love life takes center stage once again, as he struggles to deal with the three women who circle him… his ex-fling and ex-Def Jam recording artist, Teairra Mari, his current boo, Princess Love, and his assistant, Morgan Hardman.

Tuesday, September 16th

The Jennie Garth Project, series premiere at 9pm on HGTV

– Recently single actress and mom of three Jennie Garth is starting over. Together with her contractor Scott, she’s stripping a Hollywood Hills home to the studs and building it back up to be her ultimate dream house. It’s a room-by-room transformation filled with Jennie’s sleek and modern style and sensibility.

New Girl, season premiere at 9pm on FOX

– Taking a modern look at friendship and romance, ensemble comedy NEW GIRL begins its fourth season, continuing to follow a group of six friends, their somewhat interconnected romantic exploits and their often hilariously misguided attempts to find their respective places in the world. As the series’ third season came to a close, Jess (Emmy Award and Golden Globe nominee Zooey Deschanel) and Nick (Jake Johnson) ended their romance, when they discovered that their differences outweighed their love for each other. Schmidt (Emmy Award and Golden Globe nominee Max Greenfield) decided to pursue his on-again-off-again relationship with Cece (Hannah Simone), despite her fling with a younger man. Meanwhile, Winston (Lamorne Morris) passed his entrance exam on his way to becoming a police officer, and Coach (Damon Wayans, Jr.) is adjusting to life as a grade school gym teacher. With the loftmates all single in the upcoming fourth season, the pursuit of love drives them all to extremes. In the season premiere, the gang attends the last wedding of the summer and Jess sets her sights on the best man (guest star Reid Scott, Veep) only to find competition from the hottest scientist in the room (guest star Jessica Biel, “Total Recall,” “New Year’s Eve”).

The Mindy Project, season premiere at 9:30pm on FOX

– Created by and starring Emmy Award-nominated writer/producer and New York Times best-selling author Mindy Kaling, the series follows a skilled OB/GYN trying (and failing!) to navigate her romantic life with dignity and grace. Dr. Mindy Lahiri (Kaling) is a talented obstetrician with a chaotic personal life, who struggles to find the perfect relationship, remain focused at work, stay current on reality TV and channel her inner warrior – Beyoncé Pad Thai. Mindy’s love life rivaled a real-life romantic comedy this past season, when she fell for her office sparring partner, Danny. Their relationship skyrocketed to new heights when the two shared a kiss in an airplane, but when their feet hit the ground, the two doctors struggled to make their relationship work. Danny ended the romance and then acted like a jealous boyfriend when Mindy dated other men. But in the second season finale, it appeared Mindy got her fairy tale ending atop the Empire State Building, giving “Harry” and “Sally” a run for their money. Season Three will continue to explore Mindy and Danny’s romantic and professional relationship.

Brickleberry, season premiere at 10:30pm on Comedy Central

– The Tosh-produced comedy tends to rise above your average adult-animation fare, tonight’s episode included. Obama is coming, giving the park’s rangers and rednecks reason to touch on everything from health care to Game of Thrones to puke. It may not be as deft as South Park, but Brickleberry has the same off-color spirit and enthusiasm.

Wednesday, September 17th

Red Band Society, series premiere at 9pm on FOX

– From Steven Spielberg’s Amblin Television and starring Academy Award-winning actress Octavia Spencer (“The Help,” “Fruitvale Station”), Dave Annable (“Brothers & Sisters,” “666 Park Avenue”) and a charismatic cast of fresh faces, Red Band Society is a provocative, unconventional and unique coming-of-age dramedy about a group of rule-bending friends and the adults who mentor them through the ups and downs of adolescence in Los Angeles’ Ocean Park Hospital. Twelve-year-old narrator Charlie (Griffin Gluck, “Back in the Game,” “Private Practice”) is in a coma and introduces us to this band of unlikely friends. These teens form a life-changing bond and singular kinship, represented by their red hospital bands. They face shared experiences, both uplifting and challenging, tragic and comedic, ordinary and out-of-the-ordinary – and they do it together. The pediatric ward is run by Nurse Jackson (Spencer), a caregiver with a take-no-prisoners approach to helping these teens get the most from their lives. Little do they know that she puts her own life second, and her stern manner hides her incredible heart that secretly makes their lives more ordinary. Overseeing much of their treatment is Dr. Jack McAndrew (Annable), the country’s top pediatric surgeon. They are the guiding force for these teens, but in their own personal lives, things might not be so easy. When you’re brought to the brink, that’s when you laugh the loudest, love the strongest and cry the hardest.

The Mysteries of Laura, series premiere at 10pm on NBC

– Debra Messing (Will & Grace) stars as Laura Diamond, a brilliant NYPD homicide detective who balances her “Columbo” day job with a crazy family life that includes two unruly twin boys and a soon-to-be ex-husband – also a cop – who just can’t seem to sign the divorce papers. Between cleaning up after her boys and cleaning up the streets, she’d be the first to admit she has her “hot mess” moments in this hilariously authentic look at what it really means to be a “working mom” today. Somehow she makes it all work with the help of her sexy and understanding partner. For Laura, every day is a high-wire balancing act.

Thursday, September 18th

Tim & Eric’s Bedtime Stories, series premiere at 12:15am on Adult Swim

– If Rod Serling had suffered head trauma before creating The Twilight Zone, it might look like this show. The work of comedians Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim, these short horror comedies are notably slicker than the pair’s cult sketchfest Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! ”We wanted to do something that looked great and actually made sense,” says Heidecker. But there’s still weirdness aplenty: Tonight Wareheim plays a new cul-de-sac dweller who runs afoul of his psychotic, snack-obsessed neighbor, and next week Bob Odenkirk is a podiatrist in a parallel universe where toe removal is routine.

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Sunday, September 15th

Liv and Maddie, series premiere at 8pm on Disney

– Like a Disney version of Tatiana Maslany, Dove Cameron is tasked with playing both of the wildly different title characters on this teen twin-sister sitcom: Liv, a narcissistic Hollywood starlet who recently returned home to Wisconsin, and Maddie, a no-frills athlete. Cameron possesses all the spunk and talent of the Demis and Selenas before her, and Jessica Garcia plays the most endearing G-rated high school tough since The Facts of Life’s Jo Polniaczek.

Foyle’s War, season premiere at 9pm on PBS

– Set along the South Coast of England in the 1940s, Foyle’s War stars Michael Kitchen as Christopher Foyle, the straightforward sleuth who fights his own battles on the home front while war rages across Europe — that is, until now. The war in Europe is over, and Foyle hopes his crime-fighting days are too. But murder knows no respite in the seaside town of Hastings, and the unflappable chief must solve a trio of his most challenging cases yet.

The 2014 Miss America Competition, special from 9 to 11pm on ABC

– Lara Spencer, the lifestyle anchor for ABC News’ Good Morning America, and The Bachelor host Chris Harrison will co-host the competition airing live from Boardwalk Hall in Atlantic City.

Monday, September 16th

Dancing With the Stars, season premiere at 8pm on ABC

– Dancing with the Stars returns for its 17th season with a brand new format, a new cast, great dancing, and musical performances from top recording artists. Dancing with the Stars shakes things up by transitioning to a one night, two-hour format. Combining the best elements of the show every Monday, Dancing with the Stars will continue to feature competitive dance, dynamic group performances and musical guests, all while climaxing to a dramatic elimination. Each week viewers vote for their favorite dancing performance. Each couple will be eliminated at the end of each episode by combining the judges’ scores of that night, along with the public votes from the previous week, which will determine who gets eliminated every Monday night.

Meet the Cast:
ELIZABETH BERKLEY LAUREN partners with VALENTIN CHMERKOVSKIY
CORBIN BLEU partners with KARINA SMIRNOFF
BRANT DAUGHERTY partners with PETA MURGATROYD
BILL ENGVALL joins first time professional partner EMMA SLATER
VALERIE HARPER partners with TRISTAN MACMANUS
KEYSHAWN JOHNSON partners with SHARNA BURGESS
CHRISTINA MILIAN partners with MARK BALLAS
BILL NYE joins first time professional partner TYNE STECKLEIN
JACK OSBOURNE partners with CHERYL BURKE
NICOLE “SNOOKI” POLIZZI joins first time professional partner SASHA FARBER
LEAH REMINI partners with TONY DOVOLANI
AMBER RILEY partners with DEREK HOUGH

Bones, season premiere at 8pm on FOX

– At the conclusion of Season Eight, tech genius and serial killer Christopher Pelant (guest star Andrew Leeds) once again returned to toy with the Jeffersonian team, orchestrating a string ofmurders, all of which involved FBI agents with close ties to Booth. Pelant then set his aim on Sweets, while the team raced to reach Sweets before Pelant did. With Booth having become one of Pelant’s potential targets, Brennan found herself re-evaluating their relationship, resulting in a marriage proposal that Booth happily accepted. But a call from Pelant brought those plans to an endwhen he threatened Booth and forced him to secretly trade his nuptials for the lives of innocent people. Season Nine will begin with Brennan unable to make peace with Booth’s apparent rejection, remaining unaware of his pact with Pelant. She will question the viability of their relationship, while Booth will be forced to win back her trust without ever revealing the reason for turning her down. If Brennan’s love for him is to survive, Booth ultimately concludes that Pelant must die – a moral conundrum with which he will wrestle throughout the season.

Sleepy Hollow, series premiere at 9pm on FOX

– Welcome to Sleepy Hollow, the thrilling new mystery-adventure drama from co-creators/executive producers Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci (the “Star Trek” and “Transformers” franchises and Fringe). In this modern-day twist on Washington Irving’s classic, Ichabod Crane (Tom Mison, “Salmon Fishing in the Yemen”) is resurrected and pulled two and a half centuries through time to unravel a mystery that dates all the way back to the founding fathers. Revived alongside Ichabod is the infamous Headless Horseman who is on a murderous rampage in present-day Sleepy Hollow. Ichabod quickly realizes that stopping Headless is just the beginning, as the resurrected rider is but the first of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and only one of the many formidable foes that Ichabod must face to protect not only Sleepy Hollow, but the world. As Ichabod finds himself in 2013’s Sleepy Hollow, he discovers a town he no longer recognizes and grapples to understand. Teaming up with Lt. Abbie Mills (Nicole Beharie), a young cop who has her own supernatural experiences, the two embark on a mission to stop the evil that has awoken along with Ichabod and that now is seeping into this once-sleepy town. Ripe with untold stories from American history and cloaked in mythology, the divide between present and past becomes dangerously blurred. Lives are in the balance, including that of Ichabod’s late wife, Katrina (Katia Winter, Dexter), who is trapped in a mysterious netherworld. Not everyone believes Ichabod’s tales of 1776 and supernatural evils, especially the new head of Abbie’s police precinct, Captain Frank Irving (Orlando Jones, “The Chicago 8,” “Drumline”). When faced with bizarre events he can’t explain, Capt. Irving reluctantly turns to Ichabod and Abbie to investigate.

Tuesday, September 17th

Dads, series premiere at 8pm on FOX

– From Seth MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild, the creatively outrageous minds behind “Ted,” and Family Guy, Dads explores the often treacherous terrain of the father-son landscape. The multi-camera comedy series follows two successful guys – and childhood best friends – now in their mid-30s, whose relatively stable lives get turned upside down when their inappropriate and pain-in-the-neck patriarchs move in. Eli (Seth Green, Family Guy, Robot Chicken) and Warner (Giovanni Ribisi, My Name is Earl, “Ted,” “Avatar”) are lifelong best friends and the co-founders of Ghost Child Games, a successful video game company. Warner, married with two kids, is a bundle of nerves, as he tries to balance his career with his home life. He and Eli came up with the idea for the gaming company while stoned in college, and Eli has remained stoned ever since. Although Warner and Eli are at very different places in their lives, they are so close, their friendship often seems more like a marriage. And that relationship is more complicated now, as their dads invade their lives. Warner’s neuroses likely stem from having grown up in a family whose fortunes fluctuated wildly from year to year, due to the failed get-rich-quick schemes of his father, Crawford (Martin Mull, Two and a Half Men). Now that Crawford has moved in, Camila (Vanessa Lachey, True Beauty, “Disaster Movie”), Warner’s matter-of-fact and beautiful wife, is constantly trying to get Warner to confront his father, but Warner can’t seem to work up the courage to do so. Eli’s dad, David (Peter Riegert, The Good Wife, The Sopranos), is a towering monument to negativity who has spent his life jumping from relationship to relationship. Equal parts cheap and cranky, David relishes disappointment and has always prepared his son for it. The invasion of the Dads will give these friends and business partners their biggest challenge yet. Between dubious schemes, passive-aggressive busy-bodying and light kissing-on-the-lips, will these beleaguered sons be able to hold the line in the face of two massive game-changers?

Latino Americans, documentary miniseries premiere at 8pm on PBS

– This three-part six-hour documentary is the first major docu-series for television to chronicle the rich and varied history and experiences of Latinos, who have helped shape North America over the last 500-plus years and have become, with more than 50 million people, the largest minority group in the U.S. The changing and yet repeating context of American history provides a backdrop for the drama of individual lives. It is a story of immigration and redemption, of anguish and celebration, of the gradual construction of a new American identity that connects and empowers millions of people today.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine, series premiere at 8:30pm on FOX

– From the writer and producers of Parks and Recreation, and starring Emmy Award winners Andy Samberg (Saturday Night Live) and Andre Braugher (Men of a Certain Age), Brooklyn Nine-Nine is a new single-camera ensemble comedy about what happens when a talented, but carefree, detective and his diverse group of colleagues get a new captain with a lot to prove. Detective Jake Peralta (Samberg) is gifted enough that he’s never had to work too hard or follow the rules too closely. Perhaps because he has the best arrest record among his colleagues, he’s been enabled – if not indulged – throughout his entire career. That is, until the precinct gets a new commanding officer, Captain Ray Holt (Braugher). Captain Holt believes in rules and regulations, two concepts that have long been overlooked by the detectives in the 99th precinct. Jake’s colleagues are a brilliant and capable bunch, but lack a certain level of discipline and leadership. They compete with each other, annoy each other, gossip and flirt, but at the end of the day, they have each other’s backs. Together, they interrogate suspects, arrest perps and solve murders. But, ultimately, Brooklyn Nine-Nine is a workplace comedy that’s not really about the job. It’s about the men and women behind the badge – singing karaoke, grabbing a beer, and dabbling in each other’s personal lives– all while protecting the fine people of Brooklyn.

I Dream of NeNe: The Wedding, series premiere at 9pm on Bravo

I Dream of NeNe: The Wedding proves that the second time around is a charm as the new spin-off reality series features the nuptials of former spouses NeNe and Gregg Leakes. Fans have gotten up close and personal with the couple during The Real Housewives of Atlanta, watching their happy marriage, devastating divorce, and romantic reconnection. The stars align as the Leakes are ready to tie the knot once again in an extravagant wedding fit for a larger-than-life personality like NeNe. Each episode follows NeNe as she plans the wedding of a lifetime and puts her team of experts to the test in executing her dream vision. Alongside NeNe is her bridal party, including Cynthia Baileyand Marlo Hampton, who bring a fair share of drama and fabulousness to the classy affair.

New Girl, season premiere at 9pm on FOX

– Taking a modern look at friendship and romance, FOX’s hit comedy New Girl breezes into its upcoming third season as it follows a group of five friends, their somewhat interconnected romantic exploits and their often hilariously misguided attempts to find their respective places in the world. As the series concluded its second season, Jess (Zooey Deschanel) and Nick (Jake Johnson) ultimately gave into their mutual attraction and decided to take their relationship to the next level. Schmidt (Max Greenfield) desperately tried to win back Cece (Hannah Simone), after breaking off his romance with her, and his efforts were rewarded, when Cece called off her wedding. Meanwhile, Winston (Lamorne Morris), seemingly the most grounded of the loftmates, slowly revealed cracks in his calm, cool and collected façade. In the upcoming third season, Jess and Nick will go “all-in” on their relationship, but they will have to overcome some major obstacles, not the least of which just might be Schmidt. Following Cece’s aborted wedding, Schmidt finds himself unable to choose between Cece and Elizabeth (guest star Merritt Wever) and deals with it in the “Schmidt-iest” way possible. Also, Winston reconnects with Coach (guest star Damon Wayans, Jr.) bringing him back into the loft when one of the roommates moves out.

The Mindy Project, season premiere at 9:30pm on FOX

– The hit sophomore comedy series created by and starring Emmy Award-nominated writer/producer and New York Times best-selling author Mindy Kaling (The Office) follows a skilled OB/GYN trying to balance both her personal and professional life. Dr. Mindy Lahiri (Kaling) is a talented obstetrician with a hectic personal life, who struggles to find the right guy, the right outfit and the right attitude. Mindy shares a practice with two doctors, neither of whom makes life any easier for her. Dr. Danny Castellano (Chris Messina) is a hothead and a guys’ guy who criticizes her for everything, including her struggling love life and her lack of professionalism. In contrast, Dr. Jeremy Reed (Ed Weeks) is the walking definition of bad news, and everything comes easy to this suave skinny jean-wearing Brit. Rounding out the medical staff is male nurse Morgan Tookers (Ike Barinholtz), a reformed ex-con with a heart of gold who, despite his best intentions, always seems to land himself in trouble; the hospital’s resident cheerleader, Betsy Putch (Zoe Jarman), a young, earnest and easily excitable receptionist; the grumpy and absent-minded nurse Beverly (Beth Grant); and the newest addition to the nurse station, Tamra (Xosha Roquemore), a girl who would rather dish gossip and dole out beauty tips than do anything resembling work. Having traveled to Haiti at the end of Season One, Mindy returns from her volunteer mission hoping to save the practice from disarray, but finds that the office has gotten along fine without her, thank you very much. Danny has brought in a new physician, Dr. Paul Leotard (guest star James Franco, “This is the End,” “127 Hours”), who has taken over Mindy’s office. Meanwhile, Jeremy begins to play a bigger role in the practice and Morgan is spending his spare time saving dogs.

Wednesday, September 18th

Survivor: Blood vs. Water, season premiere at 8pm on CBS

– The fall edition of Survivor, themed “Blood vs. Water,” will feature former players competing with – and ultimately against – their loved ones who share the same goal: to outwit, outplay, outlast and ultimately be crowned Sole Survivor. Will the returnees use their prior experience in the game to help their partners or will they leave their relatives alone to fend for themselves? Alliances and relationships will be tested and bonds will be broken when mothers, daughters, brothers, spouses and partners vie against each other in the ultimate competition, raising the question: which is thicker – Blood or Water? This edition of Survivor will feature the return of Redemption Island, where castaways who have been eliminated from the game can seek redemption and return for a chance to win the million-dollar prize.  The twist this season, however, is loved ones will be forced to choose whether to “save” their partner on Redemption Island and switch places with them, thus allowing their loved one to immediately re-enter the game, or leave them in exile to survive on their own.

Friday, September 20th

Shark Tank, season premiere at 9pm on ABC

– The critically-acclaimed business-themed show, Shark Tank, has the Sharks continuing the search to invest in the best businesses and products that America has to offer. The Sharks – tough, self-made, multi-millionaire and billionaire tycoons – will once again give budding entrepreneurs the chance to make their dreams come true and potentially secure business deals that could make them millionaires. They are: billionaire Mark Cuban, owner and chairman of AXS TV and outspoken owner of the 2011 NBA championship Dallas Mavericks; real estate mogul Barbara Corcoran; “Queen of QVC” Lori Greiner; technology innovator Robert Herjavec; fashion and branding expert Daymond John; and venture capitalist Kevin O’Leary.

Saturday, September 21st

2013 Primetime Creative Arts Emmy Awards, live awards show from 9 to 11pm on FXX

– The Primetime Creative Arts Emmy Awards, traditionally held the weekend before the live Primetime Emmys telecast, are largely dedicated to key technical disciplines and behind-the-scenes crafts essential to television production: art direction, cinematography, hairstyling, makeup, music, picture editing, sound editing and mixing, special visual effects, stunts and more.

Monday, March 18th

Dancing With The Stars, 2-hour season premiere at 8pm on ABC

– Fire up the spray-tan machine—it’s time to airbrush muscular definition where no abs exist for Dancing’s 16th season! Ancient Planet Mirrorballus lore would predict victory for the young Olympic gold medalist (gymnast Aly Raisman), the NFL star (Jacoby Jones), or Derek Hough’s partner (Idol alum Kellie Pickler). But do not underestimate figure skater Dorothy Hamill and my favorite Leprechaun Tristan MacManus. But nevermind the so-called “stars,” of note this season is the absence of the Russian with the big mouth Maksim Chmerkovsky and his fine derriere.

Top of the Lake, miniseries premiere at 9pm on Sundance Channel

Mad Men’s Elisabeth Moss and Holly Hunter star in this terrifically moody 7 part miniseries about a 12-year-old girl who is 5 months pregnant when she walks into a lake…then disappears. Detective Robin Griffin (Moss) returns home to investigate, but it’s not a simple missing persons case. In this breathtaking but remote mountain town, there are evil forces as powerful as the land itself. And those who offer a glimpse of paradise also provide a path to hell. Trapped where happiness and honest work are just out of reach, Griffin must not only find the girl but also face her own haunting past. With the men that she once left behind now standing in her way, every step closer to solving the case unearths a dangerous truth about herself.

Bates Motel, series premiere at 10pm on A&E

– A&E presents a highly-anticipated sinister new series about a young pre-“Psycho” Norman Bates (Freddie Highmore) and his sexy smothering mother Norma (Vera Farmiga). This contemporary prequel to the genre-defining Hitchock film promises to give viewers an intimate portrayal of how Norman Bates’ psyche unravels through his teenage years. Fans will have access to the dark, twisted backstory and learn first hand just how deeply intricate his relationship with his mother truly is and how she helped forge the most famous serial killer of them all.

Tuesday, March 19th

Splash, series premiere at 8pm on ABC

– When you run out of good programming ideas, casting washed-up celebrities in a high diving competition reality series is sure to generate viewership, right? Apparently, ABC execs seem to think so, well at least it beats The Neighbors…I think… Splash marks the first time 10 celebrities will train and compete in regulation platform and springboard diving at dizzying heights in front of a weekly poolside audience. Each week the celebrities will look fear in the face as they leap off the 10-meter high dive, pair off to complete synchronized stunts, and flip, twist and spin into the depths of the pool below. Leading up to the competition, the world’s most decorated and medaled diving legend, Greg Louganis, will give each celebrity weeks of training. Each dive will be critiqued by the judges, London Olympic U.S. Gold medalist David Boudia and Australian Olympic athlete and USA Dive Team director Steve Foley. The celebrity cast includes former NBA player Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, reality star and former girlfriend of Hugh Hefner Kendra Wilkinson, comedian Louie Anderson, Nickelodeon star Drake Bell, Chelsea Lately star Chuy Bravo, pro skier Rory Bushfield, actresses Nicole Eggert and Keshia Knight Pulliam (who? Exactly…), NFL player Ndamukong Suh, and Miss USA contestant and TV correspondent Katherine Webb.

Friday, March 22nd

Tanked, season premiere at 9pm on Animal Planet

– Following the antics of two brothers-in-law as they run the largest aquarium manufacturing company in the nation, Tanked dunks viewers into the high-decibel, family-owned business of Acrylic Tank Manufacturing (ATM). Led by business partners, best friends and constant rivals Wayde King and Brett Raymer, this 13,000 square foot facility, located in Las Vegas, produces some of the most outrageous, larger-than-life and one-of-a-kind tanks for some of the most striking fish and clients around. No job is too big, too far, or too outlandish as Wayde and Brett travel the world to make fellow fish enthusiast’s dreams of having their own little piece of the ocean a reality. They’ve created tanks to look like pyramids, spheres, phone booths, cars, kegs, the female anatomy and much more. Their work is customized to fit intricate and interesting locations including restaurants, casinos, banks, hotels, churches, corporate offices, mansions, museums and zoos. Tanked brings the secrets of the underwater world to the surface with a comedic twist, leaving viewers amazed and enthralled with each project from conception to final reveal.

Saturday, March 23rd

Nickelodeon’s 2013 Kids’ Choice Awards, awards show from 8 to 9:30pm on Nickelodeon

– Fergie’s hubby and Safe Haven star Josh Duhamel is hosting. Bring on the slime!

Sunday, March 18th

Frozen Planet, series premiere at 8pm on Discovery Channel

– From the makers of Planet Earth and Life, Frozen Planet is the ultimate portrait of our earth’s polar regions, where the scale and beauty of the scenery and sheer power of the natural elements are unlike anywhere else on the planet. A co-production of Discovery Channel and the BBC, and narrated by award-winning actor Alec Baldwin, the production of this seven-part series spanned four years. Among the jaw-dropping footage seen in the first two programs premiering Sunday: the killer whale “wave wash” behavior in which orcas swim in a line to make waves that knock a seal off an ice floe, and a pack of 25 patient wolves working together to separate a bison from its herd.

Monday, March 19th

Dancing With The Stars, 2-hour season premiere at 8pm on ABC

– Get ready for a new season of quicksteps, salsas and spray-tans as Dancing with the Stars returns for its 14th season with an all-new cast vying for the coveted Mirrorball Trophy! From the world of television we have steamy soap star Jack Wagner, Family Matters man Jaleel White, Sherri Shepherd from The View, Little House legend Melissa Gilbert, Disney Channel star Roshon Fegan, Latin heartthrob William Levy and Extra host Maria Menounos. We’re wondering if top pop singer Gavin DeGraw, sexy soprano Katherine Jenkins and music legend Gladys Knight will get to dance to one of their own songs. The sports world is well represented with Green Bay Packers star Donald Driver and tennis great Martina Navratilova.

Styled By June, series premiere at 9:30pm on VH1

– When you think of the fashion world, you think photo spreads, models, runways, and amazing opulent outfits. But fashion is more than what you’re wearing. It’s about your attitude. It’s about branding. And, more important, it’s about staying relevant in the public eye. VH1 goes inside the world of fashion in a unique docu-soap series with the ultimate “Curator of Style” – June Ambrose. She is THE celebrity stylist. From Puffy to Jay-Z, she rebranded hip-hop as upscale in the 1990s. And in the 21st century, she has reshaped and re-launched the careers of hundreds of celebs, including Mariah Carey, Mary J Blige, and Will Smith. June pushes the envelope and specializes in the unexpected, making us all stand up and take notice. June is a triple threat. She is a design guru and styling expert, a rebranding genius, and a rock mom to boot (to two kids Chance, 10, and Summer, 7). In this series, June forges forward revamping her clients with her group of trusty assistants. Together the team takes celebrities and reimagines their look and brand for 2012 and beyond. Each episode will follow a celebrity’s EMANCIPATION (a June-ism), culminating in a re-launch that coincides with a high profile event: new album, new tour, new music video, etc.

Tuesday, March 20th

The Little Couple, season premiere at 10pm on TLC

– Bill Klein and Jen Arnold are just like your average newlyweds – except for the fact that they’re both under 4 feet tall! TLC’s newest reality series follows the couple as they embark on their new life together. They’ll face not only the struggles of two little people in an average-sized world, but will also move to a new city, negotiate the purchase of a home, and weigh the risks of planning a family – all while navigating the ups and downs of any new marriage!

Wednesday, March 21st

Bent, series premiere at 9pm on NBC

– This new romantic comedy follows a womanizing, surfer dude contractor and his beautiful, no-nonsense, type-A client, who work together to remodel each other’s lives as they renovate her Venice, California home. On the surface, Alex (Amanda Peet) and Pete (David Walton) could not be more different. The recently divorced Alex is a hard-working, high-strung lawyer who is raising her 10-year-old daughter Charlie as a single mom following her husband’s incarceration for insider trading. Unwilling to let anything get in her way, she downsizes into a smaller house and hires the charismatic Pete, a free-spirited ladies man and recovering gambling addict who desperately needs this gig with Alex to jumpstart his life – and prove that he is no longer a screw-up. Upon hiring him, Alex quickly realizes that she has met her match in Pete, who – along with his motley construction crew – will not only tear apart her kitchen, but also transform her worldview in the process.

Duck Dynasty, series premiere at 10pm on A&E

– A&E Network introduces the Robertsons, a Louisiana bayou family living the American dream as they operate a thriving business while staying true to their family values and lifestyle. Ask anyone in Louisiana and they’ll tell you that the bayou state’s favorite first family doesn’t live in the governor’s mansion but in the backwoods, where the Robertsons’ rags-to-riches story is still unfolding. A homegrown mom-and-pop operation, Duck Commander has become a sporting empire by fabricating top-of-the-line duck calls and decoys out of salvaged swamp wood. This newly minted multimillionaire family is kept in line by business-savvy Willie, who runs Duck Commander with the help of his brother Jase, their respective wives Korie and Missy, patriarch and founder of the company, Phil, and uncle Si. Together they run a booming business that employs half their neighborhood, but at the end of the day, you can find the whole family around matriarch Miss Kay’s dinner table.

Thursday, March 22nd

Touch, world premiere at 9pm on FOX

– It’s been almost two whole months since the sneak peek of the pilot of this Kiefer Sutherland starring series about a man trying desperately to connect with his son who can’t or won’t speak. If you’re planning on tuning in for the first time, make sure you catch a repeat of the pilot on Monday night at 9pm. From creator and writer Tim Kring (Heroes) and the executive producers of New Girl and Terra Nova, this new drama series operates on the premise that we are all interconnected. Blending science, spirituality and emotion, the series will follow seemingly unrelated people all over the world whose lives affect each other in ways seen and unseen, known and unknown. At the story’s center is Martin Bohm (Sutherland, 24), a widower and single father, haunted by an inability to connect to his emotionally challenged 11-year-old son, Jake (David Mazouz). Caring, intelligent and thoughtful, Martin has tried everything to reach his son. But Jake never speaks, shows little emotion, and never allows himself to be touched by anyone, including Martin. Jake is obsessed with numbers—writing long strings of them in his ever-present notebooks—and with discarded cell phones. But everything changes after Martin learns that Jake possesses an extraordinary gift—the ability to perceive the seemingly hidden patterns that connect every life on the planet. While Martin wants nothing more than to communicate directly with his son, Jake connects to his father through numbers, not words. Martin realizes that it’s his job to decipher these numbers and recognize their meaning. As he puts the pieces together, he will help people across the world connect as their lives intersect according to the patterns Jake has foreseen.

Saturday, March 24th

Ball Boys, series premiere at 3pm on ABC

– This new series about a sports memorabilia business comes from the producers of Pawn Stars and will follow the action at Robbie’s 1st Base in Baltimore, and the family-like relationships of the sports fanatics who work there, Robbie Sr. and Junior, Sweet Lou and Shaggy. The 12 half-hour episodes will feature the negotiation of buying and selling unique sports merchandise, both at the store and at off-site locations. Additionally, sports stars — from Jim Brown to Pete Rose to Jalen Rose — will stop by the store to join in lively debates, talk smack and hang out with the staff.

Sunday, January 15th

The 69th Annual Golden Globes Awards, special awards show from 8 to 11pm on NBC

– The never-boring multi-talented Golden Globe and Emmy Award winner Ricky Gervais (The Office, The Ricky Gervais Show) returns for the third time as host to continue insulting every celebrity possible in this entertaining awards show honoring what the Foreign Press deems to be the best movies and television shows of the past year. Black and white silent film The Artist leads the movie nominations with 6 nods, following closely behind are The Descendants (starring Best Actor nominee George Clooney) and The Help (starring Best Actress nominee Viola Davis and Best Supporting Actress nominee Octavia Spencer) with 5 nods each. Clooney’s other film The Ides of March, was also a big hit, garnering him nominations for Best Director and Best Screenplay. In the TV category for best drama, new shows came out on top with Showtime’s Homeland, FX’s American Horror Story and Starz’s Boss all nominated in addition to HBO’s Game of Thrones and Boardwalk Empire. They all edged out perrenial favorites Dexter, Breaking Bad and House, Mad Men didn’t air a new season within this year’s awards show qualifying time frame. Best comedy series included Fox’s Glee and New Girl, along with ABC’s Modern Family. Showtime’s Episodes and HBO’s Enlightened also made the cut.

Napoleon Dynamite, series premiere at 8:30pm on FOX

– An animated series based on the hit film, Napoleon Dynamite follows the comic adventures of America’s most awesomely awkward teenager and his offbeat family and friends as they navigate small-town life in rural Idaho. Whether he’s facing down bullies or discovering the meaning of friendship, Napoleon (voice of Jon Heder) proves that true heroes follow their own path – especially when they have secret ninja skills from the government. The original cast from the film – Heder, Aaron Ruell, Efren Ramirez, Tina Majorino, Sandy Martin, Jon Gries and Diedrich Bader – return to voice their roles, and many new characters will be added along the way.

Monday, January 16th

Revolution, series premiere at 2pm on ABC

– ABC’s new daytime show follows in the likes of The Chew starring a large all-star multi-talented cast consisting of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition’s Ty Pennington, Project Runway’s iconic Tim Gunn, celebrity trainer Harley Pasternak, OB-GYN Jennifer Ashton and therapist Dr. Tiffanie Davis Henry. The Revolution is an uplifting, inspiring, and groundbreaking new daily show about health and lifestyle transformations co-hosted by a stellar team of experts who will help viewers with complete transformations in all areas of their lives. It focuses on improving your physical and emotional well-being, fashion, family, home design, personal finance, food, jobs and more. In addition to being a motivating and interactive resource for viewers at home, the show features a unique concept: each week one woman’s five-month weight loss journey will unfold in just five days with daily results and a final transformation reveal on Friday. This show is your daily boost, whether you are looking for inspiration to accomplish little victories or you need a road map for a major change.

Alcatraz, 2-hour series premiere at 8pm on FOX

– From executive producer J.J. Abrams (Fringe, Lost, Star Trek and Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol) and writer and executive producer Elizabeth Sarnoff (Lost and Deadwood) comes this chilling new thriller centered on America’s most infamous prison and one-time home to the nation’s most notorious murderers, rapists, kidnappers and thieves. When San Francisco Police Department Det. Rebecca Madsen (Sarah Jones, Sons of Anarchy) is assigned to a grisly homicide case, a fingerprint leads her to a shocking suspect: Jack Sylvane, a former Alcatraz inmate who died decades ago. Madsen’s interest is immediately piqued, and once the enigmatic, knows-everything-but-tells-nothing government agent Emerson Hauser (Sam Neill, Jurassic Park) tries to impede her investigation, she’s doggedly committed. Madsen turns to Alcatraz expert and comic book enthusiast, Dr. Diego “Doc” Soto (Jorge Garcia, Lost), to piece together the inexplicable sequence of events. The twosome discovers that Sylvane is not only alive, but he’s loose on the streets of San Francisco, leaving bodies in his wake. And strangely, he hasn’t aged a day since he was in Alcatraz. Madsen and Soto reluctantly team with Agent Hauser and his technician, Lucy Banerjee (Parminder Nagra, ER), to stop Sylvane’s vengeful killing spree. By delving into Alcatraz history, government cover-ups and Rebecca’s own heritage, the team will ultimately discover that Sylvane is only a small part of a much larger, more sinister present-day threat. For while he may be the first, it quickly becomes clear that Sylvane won’t be the last prisoner to reappear from Alcatraz.

Betty White’s 90th Birthday: A Tribute to America’s Golden Girl, special event from 8 to 9:30pm on NBC

– In an all-new all-star special, some of Hollywood’s biggest stars — including Mary Tyler Moore, Hugh Jackman, Jay Leno, Amy Poehler and Carol Burnett — gather to celebrate Betty White’s 90th birthday. White’s “Hot in Cleveland” co-stars Valerie Bertinelli, Wendy Mallick and Jane Leeves, along with her “Mary Tyler Moore” co-stars Ed Asner, Valerie Harper and Gavin MacLeod, will also be on hand, along with Joel McHale, William Shatner and many more.

Betty White’s Off Their Rockers, special preview at 9:30pm on NBC

– Forget everything you thought you knew about the older generation. Betty White’s Off Their Rockers takes senior stereotypes and blows them out of the water with a cast of sassy septuagenarians who are hip, sexy and ready to party! America’s favorite comedy sweetheart sends a fearless band of senior citizens to the streets to pull shockingly hilarious pranks on the younger generation in Betty White’s Off Their Rockers, an outrageously funny “hidden camera” show unlike anything viewers have ever seen. White, a seven-time Emmy Award winner, will star in and executive produce the series, adapted from the hit Belgium series Benidorm Bastards. “People have been telling me that I’m ‘off my rocker’ for years,” says White. “Now I can prove it!”

Tuesday, January 17th

Remodeled, series premiere at 9pm on The CW

– Modeling industry veteran Paul Fisher is planning to bring together hundreds of small agencies around the world in a new venture called The Network. The Network will give Paul the leverage to change the industry from the inside out. He has two missions: to make sure agents in small towns no longer get screwed, and to empower models to take control of their careers and lead healthier lives.

Justified, season premiere at 10pm on FX

– Developed by Graham Yost and starring Timothy Olyphant, this modern-day Western is based on the works of crime novelist Elmore Leonard, including Leonard’s short story Fire in the Hole. In Season 2, Deputy US Marshal Raylan Givens (Olyphant) squared off against criminal matriarch Mags Bennett (Margo Martindale’s won an Emmy Award-winning role). The end of Season 2 brought about the end of the Bennett family’s hold over Harlan County and the return of Raylan’s old nemesis/friend Boyd Crowder to the criminal life. This season, Boyd and his crew will find they aren’t the only ones making a play to rule the Harlan underworld. Now Raylan finds himself facing off against dirty politicians, hidden fortunes, a mysterious man named “Limehouse” and an enterprising and lethal criminal from the Motor City.

Southland, season premiere at 10pm on TNT

– Head back to the streets of Los Angeles for the new, explosive season of Southland, the critically acclaimed drama series from Emmy-winning producer John Wells (ER, The West Wing). Chronicling the lives of LAPD officers and detectives like no other series on television, this powerful, intensely emotional drama stars Michael Cudlitz, Shawn Hatosy, Regina King and Ben McKenzie, along with special guest star Lucy Liu. Since premiering in 2009, Southland has redefined the police drama with its raw, authentic look at the lives and work of Los Angeles detectives and beat cops. The show centers on four main characters: Officer John Cooper (Cudlitz), a seasoned cop who will have to prove himself again after recovering from surgery; Officer Ben Sherman (McKenzie), who still has much to learn after recently completing his training rotation; Detective Lydia Adams (King), whose unending caseload hits closer to home; and Sammy Bryant (Hatosy), a former detective who decided to go back to being a uniform cop after the traumatic death of his partner. Shot on location in the streets and neighborhoods of Los Angeles, Southland captures a realistic, natural environment where similar situations can and often do occur in real life.

White Collar, midseason premiere at 10pm on USA

– In the summer finale, Neal and Mozzie must stay one step ahead of the FBI while appearing to work with them in order to keep them from discovering that they possess the treasure. They manage to throw Peter off the scent for the time being, but with the Feds slowly closing in, Mozzie decided he’s waited long enough. Mozzie gave Neal an ultimatum – leave with him, and the treasure, in 48 hours, or stay in Manhattan with Peter. Time to choose a side. Meanwhile, when the feds tracked the Degas to a black market arms trafficker, Peter cut Neal out of the inner circle. Out of the loop but not out of options, Neal devised his most daring plan yet to replace the Degas with a forgery, thus erasing any connection to Neal, Mozzie, and the treasure. However, Keller is still lurking in the Manhattan shadows, and he’ll do anything to possess the treasure. In the midseason premiere, Neal is forced to come clean with Peter about the hidden cache in order to save Elizabeth.

Ink Master, series premiere at 10pm on Spike

– Hosted by rock legend Dave Navarro and judged by icons of the tattoo world, Chris Nunez and Oliver Peck, 10 of the country’s most creative and skilled tattoo artists descend on NYC to compete for a hundred thousand dollars and the title of Ink Master. The stakes couldn’t be higher with ‘Living Canvasses’ donating their skin to be permanently marked in this adrenalized competition elimination.

Wednesday, January 18th

American Idol, 2-hour season premiere at 8pm on FO

– The most-watched TV series in the past 10 years has rebounded after some rocky ratings following Simon Cowell’s and Paula Abdul’s departure, which bounced back when the audience opened up to its new panel of judges. Season 10 of the country’s biggest singing competition series (yes, even the much-hyped The X Factor could not dethrone Idol from the top spot) brings Jennifer Lopez, Steven Tyler, and Randy Jackson together to judge contestants on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Jimmy Iovine, chairman of Interscope Geffen A&M Records, mentors the finalists each week and lends his expertise, and Ryan Seacrest continues to host the show for his tenth season.

Mistresses, season premiere at 10pm on BBC America

– The sexy, sophisticated drama Mistresses is back for a final season. But all has changed as Katie, Trudi, Siobhan and Jessica are no longer friends. But what could have caused these friends to split? Katie, the group’s emotional rock, is back from time spent in Australia and ready to put her failed relationship with Dan behind her. However, her meticulously-organized life changes with the arrival of her widowed mother Vivienne. Trudi is struggling with finding a solid balance between family life and her successful baking business. When an investor proposes to buy the bakery, she isn’t sure she’s willing to give it all up. Also enjoying motherhood is Siobhan, but such family bliss is interrupted when her former lover and the father of her child, Dominic, returns to town—to announce his engagement to New York socialite Alice. Jessica is desperate to have a family with her husband, Mark. But after suffering a miscarriage 18 months earlier and Mark’s financial difficulties, she’s left second guessing her IVF plans. Having been through their fair share of torment and loneliness and love and excitement over the years, the bond between these four women once seemed unshakable. Katie asks them to come together with the hope of addressing what’s happened in the last year, but will old secrets leave them wishing they never reconnected?

Royal Pains, midseason premiere at 10pm on USA

Thursday, January 19th

Unsupervised, series premiere at 10:30pm on FX

Unsupervised is an animated, half-hour comedy about two eternally optimistic best friends Gary and Joel, who are navigating the harsh landscape of adolescence and trying to do what’s right despite having no parental guidance whatsoever. Gary’s father took off years ago and left him with his absentee stepmom, while Joel’s elderly parents remain unseen and uninvolved. And the adults that are actually present in Gary and Joel’s lives are anything but role models. At first glance, Gary and Joel’s world may be bleak but their worldview is bright as they guide themselves through life with each other to depend on. Unsupervised features the voices of Justin Long as Gary, David Hornsby as Joel, Kristen Bell as Megan, Rob Rosell as Russ and Romany Malco as Darius.

Friday, January 20th

Shark Tank, season premiere at 8pm on ABC

– The Sharks are back to continue their search to invest in the best products and businesses that America has to offer. The critically acclaimed Shark Tank gives budding entrepreneurs the chance to make their dreams come true, and possibly make a business deal that will make them a millionaire. Season Three continues to make TV history, with the Sharks offering over $6.2 million of their own money in investment deals to bankroll a creative array of innovative entrepreneurs. Billionaire Mark Cuban, owner and chairman of HDNet and outspoken owner of the 2010-2011 NBA championship Dallas Mavericks, returns as a Shark in all 13 episodes. Also, Lori Greiner, a prolific inventor of retail products and often referred to as the “Queen of QVC,” will join the show as a guest Shark investor for three episodes. Returning “Sharks” joining Cuban and Greiner are real estate mogul Barbara Corcoran, technology innovator Robert Herjavec, fashion and branding expert Daymond John and venture capitalist Kevin O’Leary, who we all know has also been called Mr. Wonderful (by himself, of course).

Saturday, January 21st

Bayou Billionaires, series premiere at 9pm on CMT

– In a modern day rags to riches story, Bayou Billionaires tells the story of the Dowdens of Shreveport, LA – a hardworking family of modest means who recently discovered their home sits on the fourth largest deposit of natural gas in the United States. After years of pinching pennies and balancing budgets, the over-the-top Dowdens are ready to enjoy the finer things in life, sparing no expense. Bayou Billionaires follows Gerald and Kitten and the rest of their family as they experience the perks of belonging to a brand new tax bracket. The close-knit Dowden family includes a colorful cast of characters who each have their own plans for living the American dream. Led by patriarch, Gerald, and matriarch, Kitten, the family includes daughter Valerie, an outspoken, single mother of three who works for the public defender’s office in Shreveport; daughter Chantel and her offbeat, live-in boyfriend Albert (aka Carl; aka Jimmy) whose hilarious exploits and anecdotes keep things very, very interesting; adventurous son Gerald Jr. and his wife Peggy; and the youngest son Thomas, who admits to being his mother’s favorite, and his wife Mallory. Kitten’s 90-year-old father, Grandpa, is a ladies’ man who often spends his time talking on the phone to his many girlfriends.

An Idiot Abroad 2: The Bucket List, season premiere at 10pm on Science

– This travel documentary series stars Karl Pilkington, a household name thanks to the The Ricky Gervais Show podcasts. The franchise’s second installment comes on the heels of the first season of An Idiot Abroad, which became the Science Channel’s most-watched series ever in 2011. After his tour of the Seven Wonders of the World, Pilkington could be considered an international jetsetter, however, his recent global exposure has made him even more resistant to the call of the open road.  Nevertheless, world-class tormentors Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant prove that one man’s anguish can be another man’s amusement, as they send him around the world to fulfill his Bucket List. However, the list – compiled by Gervais and Merchant – is geared more toward the personal torture of Pilkington than it is for his personal fulfillment. Over eight episodes, Pilkington attempts to survive challenges including bungee jumping, taming cobras and swimming with sharks – solely for the amusement of his “friends” back in London. Now Karl can only hope that his quest to accomplish the definitive list of “things to do before you die” doesn’t kill him first.

Dancing With the Stars, syndication premiere at 6pm on GSN

– For the first time on television since they debuted, the past seasons of this sensational series will be shown in their entirety. All the sexy stars, all the beautiful dances and all the heart-pounding excitement can now be seen on GSN. So, whether you’re enjoying them once again, or if you’re catching them for the very first time, don’t miss a single episode. The syndication premiere begins with Season 4 aka the season of winners Apollo Anton Ohno and Julianne Hough.

The finale results day of Dancing With the Stars‘ controversial and shocking 11th season is upon us and as angry and bitter we still may be that Brandy exited the competition last week while boring Bristol made it the finale, we can no longer devote all our energy to griping about the robbery (as booted contestant The Situation would call it).

Last night, we saw top performances from the 3 finalists. Jennifer Grey never ceases to amaze (although we worry that her body will cease to give) scoring a perfect 60 out of 60. She not only killed in an aggressive yet sensual paso doble but also earned a standing O from Len with a hard-hitting, flips-abounding Freestyle with a Dirty Dancing theme and set to the tune of “Do You Love Me?” Kyle brought the funk and shook all the junk in his trunk with a hip hop Freestyle to “Tootsie Roll” in the style of Apolo Ohno’s winning performance circa Season 4. Even Bristol managed to step outside of her comfort zone long enough to dance inside a cage to Chicago’s “Cell Block Tango”, which was the lowest-scoring performance of the night — that was Mark’s bad for making Bristol imitate a famous jazz dance from an iconic Broadway production and movie. Did he not see the Season 9 finale when Dmitry’s “Hair” Freestyle cost Mya the trophy? Big mistake Mark, Bristol the Pistol might not be able to recover from that, even with her legions of Tea Party voters. Bristol’s performance was technically good and she even managed to get into character for the dance but it in no way resembled a Freestyle, which should be all-out fun and tricks.

The Freestyle has always been THE dance that determines the winner. The contestant who comes out with the best combination of technical precision and entertainment/fun has almost always been the one who gets to hoist the coveted Mirrorball high up in the air. If we judge the finalists on who should win based solely on how entertaining their Freestyle was, Jennifer Grey is hands down the most deserving, followed by Kyle (who came in very close to Jennifer), and Bristol in 3rd place. Poor Kyle is getting completely pushed to the side amidst the Bristol-in-the-Finale controversy but he gets major props for giving us loads of fun and enthusiasm every week. Jennifer did everything possible, this entire season and especially last night, to earn the trophy but we can’t all help but worry that Bristol’s Tea Party voting hijackers will steal the win for the “teen activist.” (I mean, was ANYBODY able to vote last night? I got nowhere trying to vote online.) In awaiting tonight’s finale, I feel both excitement (for the fact that Jennifer should take it all, hands down) and fear (for if Bristol ends up winning). Will you tune in despite swearing never to watch this show again after last week’s atrocity? You know you’re curious to see what happens…

Monday, September 20th

Dancing With the Stars, season premiere at 8pm on ABC

– Three opinionated judges, twelve professional dancers, twelve celebrities, tons of glitter and spray tans, and Tom Bergeron and Brooke Burke. No, we’ll never be able to dance like Chelsie Hightower, Maksim Chmerkovskiy or Cheryl Burke, and that’s exactly why we watch. We can totally relate to the stars competing on the show and it’s pretty cool to know they’re just like us. These actors, athletes, musicians, reality stars, and where-are-they-now personalities start out as lumbering Frankensteins with two left feet, and they slowly transform (we hope) into graceful twinkle-toed Baryshnikovs. The contestants this season have huge graceful dancing shoes to fill after Nicole Scherzinger and Evan Lysacek’s brilliant runs during the epic 10th season. This year’s cast, save “The Situation” and Bristol Palin, leaves much to be desired in terms of colorful characters who can deliver some smooth moves, drama, and comedic relief. But everyone knows that the so-called “stars” are only part of the entertainment. What would DWTS be without Maks’ outbursts at his partner and criticism of the judges, Derek’s hyper-sexual pelvic gyrations (mambo head bobbing in the crotch anyone?), and Edyta’s uber-skimpy costumes? This season veteran pro Edyta Sliwinska, who has yet to win despite being on all 10 seasons, left to study Media Communications at UCLA. Corky Ballas returns to pair with Brady mom Florence Henderson after his successful run with Cloris Leachman in season 7.

Here’s this season’s star-pro pairings:

Michael Bolton and Chelsie Hightower
Brandy and Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Margaret Cho and Louis van Amstel
Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke
Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough
David Hasselhoff and Kym Johnson
Florence Henderson and Corky Ballas
Kyle Massey and Lacey Schwimmer
Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas
Audrina Patridge and Tony Dovolani
Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino and Karina Smirnoff
Kurt Warner and Anna Trebunskaya

And don’t forget to watch the results show on Tuesday at 8pm this week, which moves to its regular slot at 9pm next week.

How I Met Your Mother, season premiere at 8pm on CBS

– This season the showrunners are taking the show back to it’s original sentiment, with much more depth in the show’s relationships and bringing back the big mystery as to who the mother is. We’ll still have the same great laughs from The Goat and Slapsgiving, but we’ll also move the storyline along to come closer to answering the big question as well as other smaller ones, like will soul mates Barney and Robin get back together? This season Ted gets a chance to design the Goliath National Bank building, Marshall and Lily start trying to have a baby, Robin engages in a rivalry with her new coanchor (Laura Bell Bundy), and Barney finally acknowledges that Bob Barker isn’t his father and sets out to find the real one. The premiere features a game-changing wedding, the bride and groom of whom are yet another mystery. This season, Rachel Bilson’s character Cindy bumps into Ted at McClaren’s and Ted is anxious to meet her intriguing roommate, which all clues seem to indicate is the titular mother. Also, producers have cast House’s Jennifer Morrison as a serious love interest for Ted with a long-term arc this season. She’ll be playing Zooey, an activist trying to stop the destruction of a building that will be replaced by one of Ted’s designs. Could one of these women finally be the mother?

House, season premiere at 8pm on FOX

– This Emmy award-winning series is an innovative take on the medical drama in which the villain is a medical malady and the hero is an irreverent, controversial doctor who trusts no one, least of all his patients. Dr. Gregory House (Hugh Laurie), devoid of bedside manner and dealing with his own constant physical pain, uses a cane that punctuates his acerbic, brutally honest demeanor. His behavior often borders on antisocial, but House is a brilliant diagnostician whose unconventional thinking and flawless instincts afford him a great deal of respect. An infectious disease specialist, he thrives on the challenge of solving medical puzzles in order to save lives. In the Season Six finale, House, driven by the loss of a patient he treated at an accident site and confronted with the unexpected news that Cuddy was now engaged, spiraled into despair and considered treating his mental and emotional anguish with Vicodin, potentially prompting the cycle of his dependency and addiction all over again. But in a surprising turn, Cuddy revealed that she called off her engagement and (finally) admitted to House she loves him, despite wishing she didn’t. Also, Thirteen (Olivia Wilde) submitted her leave of absence from the hospital, prompting questions about the status of her health. As Season Seven begins, House and Cuddy attempt to make a real relationship work and face the question as to whether their new relationship will affect their ability to diagnose patients.

Chuck, season premiere at 8pm on NBC

– Our favorite secret agent is back in the one-hour action-comedy series. Chuck Bartowski (Zachary Levi) returns as a regular guy who also happens to be the government’s most vital secret agent. Now that those closest to Chuck know his secret, he must try harder than ever to keep his spy life from interfering with his personal life. But this has never been more difficult – his relationship with superspy Sarah Walker is getting serious, and he’s about to take on his most personal mission yet: finding his mother. This season, Chuck’s assignments take him far from Burbank, with each mission bringing him closer to uncovering what happened to his mom, Mary Elizabeth Bartowski

Rules of Engagement, season premiere at 8:30pm on CBS

– The comedy follows the different phases of male/female relationships, as seen through the eyes of a newly engaged couple, Adam (Oliver Hudson) and Jennifer (Bianca Kajlich), a long-time married pair, Jeff (Patrick Warburton) and Audrey (Megyn Price), and a single guy on the prowl, Russell (David Spade). As they find out, the often confusing stages of a relationship can seem like being on a roller coaster. People can describe the ride to you, but to really know what it’s like you have to experience it for yourself.

Lone Star, series premiere at 9pm on FOX

– In this new drama series, Robert/Bob Allen (James Wolk) is a charismatic and brilliant schemer who has meticulously constructed two lives in two different parts of Texas. Groomed by his father from a young age to be an expert conman, he’s juggling two identities and two women in two very different worlds – all under one mountain of lies. As “Bob,” he lives in Houston and is married to Cat (Adrianne Palicki), the beautiful daughter of Clint Thatcher (Jon Voight), the patriarch of an ultra-wealthy Texas oil family. More than 400 miles away in the suburban west Texas town of Midland, he’s “Robert,” living a second life with his sweet, naive girlfriend, Lindsay Holloway (Eloise Mumford). There he plays the perfect boyfriend while secretly bilking local investors of their savings. While in Houston, he’s a devoted husband, charming Cat and her family to cement his position in the rich family business he aims to clean out. With the cons closing in on him, Bob begins to fear his secret lives may unravel as he becomes divided by his love for two women; his loyalty to his father and mentor, John (David Keith); and his respect for his father-in-law, Clint. Now as he tries to hold his two lives together, while fending off angry investors and the growing suspicions of those around him, Bob puts it all on the line hoping he can beat the odds, leave the schemes behind and keep two separate relationships afloat.

Two and a Half Men, season premiere at 9pm on CBS

– The hit comedy series that is completely uninterrupted by Charlie Sheen’s minor domestic violence and DUI charges is still on course for another season. It’s a comedy about the lives of two brothers, one brother’s son, and the many women who surround them.  Charlie Harper is a well-to-do bachelor with a house at the beach, a Mercedes in the garage and an easy way with women.  His casual Malibu lifestyle was interrupted when his tightly wound brother, Alan, and Alan’s son, Jake, came to stay with him.  Complicating matters further are Charlie and Alan’s narcissistic, emotionally toxic mother, Evelyn; Alan’s deeply neurotic ex-wife, Judith and Charlie’s domineering, unapologetically blue-collar housekeeper, Berta.  Despite the complexities of their lives and their own strained relationship, Charlie and Alan have one thing in common – they both love Jake and want what’s best for him.  As a result, they manage to create a little family unit that promises to make each of them a better man.

The Event, series premiere at 9pm on NBC

– This new high-concept drama series is an emotional conspiracy action thriller that follows Sean Walker (Jason Ritter), an everyman who investigates the mysterious disappearance of his would-be fiancée Leila (Sarah Roemer), and unwittingly begins to expose the biggest cover-up in U.S. history. Sean’s quest will send ripples through the lives of an eclectic band of strangers, including newly elected U.S. President Elias Martinez (Blair Underwood); Sophia Maguire (Laura Innes), who is the leader of a mysterious group of detainees; and Leila’s shadowy father (Scott Patterson). Their futures are on a collision course in a global conspiracy that could ultimately change the fate of mankind.

Mike & Molly, series premiere at 9:30pm on CBS

– This new comedy is about a working class Chicago couple who find love at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting.  Officer Mike Biggs is a good-hearted cop who sincerely wants to lose weight. Mike’s partner, Officer Carl McMillan, is a thin, fast-talking wise-guy who, despite his teasing, encourages Mike on his road to slimness and romance.  While speaking at an O.A. meeting, Mike meets Molly Flynn, an instantly likeable fourth-grade teacher with a good sense of humor about her curves.  For Molly, focusing on smart choices isn’t easy while living with her sexy older sister, Victoria, and their mother, Joyce, both of whom flaunt their effortless figures while indulging their healthy appetites right in front of her. Mike and Molly found each other in the most unexpected of places.  Now, they’re about to find out where their quest for companionship will take them.

Castle, season premiere at 10pm on ABC

– The hit crime dramedy starring crime-fighting partners NYPD detective Beckett (Stana Katic) and successful mystery writer Castle (Nathan Fillion) aka the charming thorn in Beckett’s side is back for a season that sees them in relationships with the wrong people, as in not with each other. This season they also face a more worthy criminal foe, a serial killer nicknamed “The Triple Killer” that will be the bane of their existence on and off all season. But single dad Castle may find his biggest foe at home when his teenage daughter Alexis gets her first serious boyfriend. The premiere sneak peek leaves many questions to be answered when Beckett and her team burst into an apartment on a murderer’s trail to find Castle standing over a dead woman’s body holding a gun forcing Beckett to arrest Castle as he asserts his innocence. We have another kick-ass season to look forward to of crime-fighting, sexual tension, and quick wit to keep us coming back for more.

Hawaii Five-0, series premiere at 10pm on CBS

– Hawaii Five-0 2010 is a contemporary take on the classic series about a new elite federalized task force whose mission is to wipe out the crime that washes up on the Islands’ sun-drenched beaches. Detective Steve McGarrett (the abtastic Alex O’Loughlin), a decorated Naval officer-turned-cop, returns to Oahu to investigate his father’s murder and stays after Hawaii’s Governor persuades him to head up the new team: his rules, her backing, no red tape and full blanket authority to hunt down the biggest “game” in town. Joining McGarrett is Detective Danny “Danno” Williams (Scott Caan), a newly relocated ex-New Jersey cop – a working man in paradise who prefers skyscrapers to the coastline – but whose committed to keeping the Islands safe for his 8-year-old daughter from a failed marriage; and Chin Ho Kelly, an ex-Honolulu Police Detective, and former protégé of McGarrett’s father, wrongly accused of corruption and relegated to a federal security patrol. Chin’s cousin, Kono (Battlestar Gallactica’s Grace Park), is a beautiful and fearless native, fresh out of the academy and eager to establish herself among the department’s elite. McGarrett works on repairing his relationship with his estranged sister Mary Ann and vows to bring closure to their father’s case.

Chase, series premiere at 10pm on NBC

– From super-producer Jerry Bruckheimer and exec producer Jennifer Johnson (Cold Case and Lost), this lightning-fast drama drops viewers smack into the middle of a game of cat-and-mouse as a team of U.S. Marshals hunts down America’s most dangerous fugitives. Kelli Giddish (Past Life) stars as U.S. Marshal Annie Frost, a cowboy boot-wearing deputy whose sharp mind and unique Texas upbringing help her track down violent criminals on the run. Starring as the members of Frost’s elite team are Cole Hauser as Jimmy Godfrey, an East Texas kid who never grew up and is a true American cowboy; Prison Break’s gorgeous Amaury Nolasco who plays Marco Martinez, a good intelligence guy who loves to talk; and Rose Rollins (The L Word), who portrays Daisy Ogbaa, a weapons/tactical specialist and a woman of few words. Rounding out the cast is Jesse Metcalfe (Desperate Housewives), who stars as Luke Watson, the fresh-faced newcomer whose Washington, D.C. upbringing did little to prepare him for the Lone Star State.

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← New Premieres in TV: Sunday, September 19th

New Premieres in TV: Tuesday, September 21st

This week fall premieres are in full swing with over 45 season or series premieres! While it is a time for excitement and celebration, I can’t possibly fit all of those with synopses in one single post without it being an unorganized convoluted mess. Refer to the guide below for your basic information and if you want more info please click on the DAY for pictures and show overviews.

Sunday September 19th

Boardwalk Empire, series premiere at 9pm on HBO

Fantasia For Real, season premiere at 10pm on VH1

Monday September 20th

Dancing With the Stars, season premiere at 8pm on ABC

How I Met Your Mother, season premiere at 8pm on CBS

House, season premiere at 8pm on FOX

Chuck, season premiere at 8pm on NBC

Rules of Engagement, season premiere at 8:30pm on CBS

Lone Star, series premiere at 9pm on FOX

Two and a Half Men, season premiere at 9pm on CBS

The Event, series premiere at 9pm on NBC

Mike & Molly, series premiere at 9:30pm on CBS

Castle, season premiere at 10pm on ABC

Hawaii Five-0, series premiere at 10pm on CBS

Chase, series premiere at 10pm on NBC

Tuesday, September 21st

Glee, season premiere at 8pm on FOX

The Biggest Loser, season premiere at 8pm on NBC

NCIS, season premiere at 8pm on CBS

NCIS: Los Angeles, season premiere at 9pm on CBS

Raising Hope, series premiere at 9pm on FOX

Running Wilde, series premiere at 9:30pm on FOX

Detroit 1-8-7, series premiere at 10pm on ABC

Wednesday, September 22nd

Hell’s Kitchen, season premiere at 8pm on FOX

Undercovers, series premiere at 8pm on NBC

The Middle, season premiere at 8pm on ABC

Better With You, series premiere at 8:30pm on ABC

Modern Family, season premiere at 9pm on ABC

Criminal Minds, season premiere at 9pm on CBS

Law & Order: SVU, season premiere at 9pm on NBC

Cougar Town, season premiere at 9:30pm on ABC

The Defenders, series premiere at 10pm on CBS

The Whole Truth, series premiere at 10pm on ABC

Thursday, September 23rd

My Generation, series premiere at 8pm on ABC

Bones, season premiere at 8pm on FOX

Community, season premiere at 8pm on NBC

The Big Bang Theory, season premiere at 8pm on CBS

$#*! My Dad Says, series premiere at 8:30pm on CBS

30 Rock, season premiere at 8:30pm on NBC

Grey’s Anatomy, season premiere at 9pm on ABC

CSI, season premiere at 9pm on CBS

Fringe, season premiere at 9pm on FOX

The Office, season premiere at 9pm on NBC

Outsourced, season premiere at 9:30pm on NBC

Private Practice, season premiere at 10pm on ABC

The Mentalist, season premiere at 10pm on CBS

Friday, September 24th

Medium, season premiere at 8pm on CBS

Smallville, season premiere at 8pm on The CW

The Good Guys, season premiere at 9pm on FOX

CSI: NY, season premiere at 9pm on CBS

Supernatural, season premiere at 9pm on The CW

Blue Bloods, season premiere at 10pm on CBS

Which celebrity is struggling to lose 75 pounds on camera while caring for his/her 8 lemurs? Who in the world even has 8 lemurs (lemurs are those adorable creatures from Madagascar)?!? Would you enjoy watching 3 hard-to-please judges berate mega-celebrities the likes of Evan Lysacek, Pam Anderson, Buzz Aldrin, Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger, and supermom Kate Gosselin on DWTS’s most interesting season yet? Could you blame a high school chemistry teacher with terminal lung cancer and whose son has cerebral palsy for turning to a life of producing and dealing crystal meth to pay for his family’s needs? Or perhaps you would love to see TV with a healthy Oliver twist on food? All this and more in store for you this week in TV.

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