Sunday, January 20th
Kourtney & Kim Take Miami, season premiere at 9pm on E!
– Batten down the hatches South Beach, the Kardashians are back in town! Khloe wants Kim to admit she’s upset about the divorce, but Kim just wants to focus on her new kitten. Are the inner workings of Kim’s mind actually one big koan?
Chasing the Saturdays, series premiere at 10pm on E!
– Despite the title, this reality series about a Brit girl group’s American invasion airs on Sundays. Also, nobody is chasing the quintet. In fact, the gals may be here illegally as the U.S. embassy denies their passports in the show’s first scene. But does any of that matter when the scantily clad popstresses start wrestling one another in bed? We report, you decide. The debut season brings hot video shoots, boyfriend distractions and pregnancy secrets.
Monday, January 21st
The Presidential Inauguration, live event from 9am to 3pm on Major Networks, CNN
Ultimate Spider-Man, season premiere at 7pm on Disney 😄
– In Disney XD’s new animated series, Peter Parker gets the chance to raise his game and become the Ultimate Spider-Man. In this prime-time premiere, we meet villains Electro and the Lizard. Though, I must admit when the Lizard is voiced by someone from Phineas and Ferb, it makes him a wee bit less scary.
The Following, series premiere at 9pm on FOX
– America’s fascination with dark dramas like The Walking Dead, Breaking Bad, and Dexter prompted FOX to respond with a bloody serial killer drama of its own starring Golden Globe winner Kevin Bacon in his primetime series debut. The FBI estimates there are currently up to 300 active serial killers in the United States. What would happen if these killers had a way of communicating and connecting with each other? What if one brilliant and charismatic, yet psychotic mastermind was able to bring them all together and activate a cult of believers following his every command? When notorious serial killer Joe Carroll (James Purefoy) escapes from death row, the FBI calls former agent Ryan Hardy (Bacon) to consult on the case. Having since withdrawn from the public eye, Hardy was responsible for Carroll’s capture in 2003, after Carroll murdered 14 female students on the Virginia college campus where he taught literature. In contrast to the original investigation years ago, Hardy isn’t calling the shots anymore. But Hardy proves his worth when he uncovers that Carroll was covertly communicating with a network of followers in the outside world. It quickly becomes obvious that he has more planned than just a prison escape. The tension rises when Carroll’s accomplices kidnap his intended last victim (guest star Maggie Grace) from 10 years ago. Hardy becomes ever more determined to end Carroll’s game when he realizes that the psychopath intends to finish what he started.
Tuesday, January 22nd
The Taste, 2-hour series premiere at 9pm on ABC
– One blind spoonful could change everything on ABC’s The Taste. This new cooking competition show is literally all about taste. Sixteen competitors, from pro chefs to home cooks, whip up dishes attempting to impress four of the world’s most notable chefs. The catch is all the dishes will be judged in a blind taste test. In this pressure-packed contest, the taste of a single spoonful can catapult a contender to the top or send him packing. The Taste features no-holds barred chef Anthony Bourdain, British food star Nigella Lawson, expert chef and author Ludo Lefebvre and restaurateur Brian Malarkey. Each of the four culinary superstars and mentors – Bourdain, Lawson, Lefebvre and Malarkey – will coach a team of four competing pro and amateur cooks chosen from a nationwide casting call as they vie to create the best tasting dish. In each episode, the groups will face team and individual challenges with a variety of culinary themes through several elimination rounds. At the end of each episode, the mentors will have to judge the competitors’ dishes blind, with no knowledge of whose creation they’re sampling, what they’re eating, how it was prepared or whom they could be eliminating.
White Collar, midseason premiere at 10pm on USA
Wednesday, January 23rd
Kimora: House of Fab, series premiere at 9pm on Style
– Kimora Lee Simmons wants to maker her clothing company, JustFab, fashion-forward. She could start by not using the word fab, or at least by embracing the space bar.
Necessary Roughness, midseason premiere at 10pm on USA
Thursday, January 24th
Project Runway, season premiere at 9pm on Lifetime
– The decision to fill this season with team challenges has fans up in arms. Nobody likes forced collaboration because it prevents designers from going after their own unique version. Luckily, the contestants are judged individually and each team’s work doesn’t have to be cohesive, so it’s not THAT drastic a shake-up. The bigger change: Michael Kors and his repetitively lame runway outfit are out and Zac Posen is in, meaning a noticeable decrease in catty one-liners. But there’s still fun to be had, try drinking every time a contestant says some variation of “I’m not a team player.”
Suits, midseason premiere at 10pm on USA
Friday, January 25th
Spartacus: War of the Damned, season premiere at 9pm on Starz
– The final season of Spartacus cashes in on all the traits that made you love (or hate) the show in the first place: blood, sex, and more blood. Gaius Claudius Glaber is dead. Many months have passed since his defeat, and the rebel army, led by Spartacus and his generals Crixus, Gannicus and Agron, continue to amass victories over Rome. With the rebel numbers swelling to thousands of freed slaves, it has become a force that has started to challenge even the mighty armies of Rome. Spartacus is more determined than ever to bring down the entire Roman Republic. Following the death of Ashur, Naevia and Crixus fight as one with newfound strength and determination. And Gannicus, always seeking to embrace life to the fullest, shares his bed with the beautiful and dangerous Saxa. Together, the rebels engage in one bloody skirmish after another and prepare for the inevitable: a full out war with Rome. The Roman Senate turns to its wealthiest citizen, Marcus Crassus, for aid. A powerful, strategic politician, he respects his opponent and refuses to make the same mistakes Glaber and his predecessors have. With a young and fiercely competitive Julius Caesar as an ally, Crassus is determined to crush Spartacus and his rebellion. The epic conclusion of a legendary journey, Spartacus: War of the Damned will unleash a battle unlike anything ever seen before.
Saturday, January 26th
My Big Redneck Vacation, season premiere at 9pm on CMT
– A rowdy, redneck family from Louisiana wreaked havoc on the Hamptons, befriended the British and are now traveling across the United States to spread some all-American, redneck love. Tom Arnold returns as host of the hit series, following our family on their cross-country road trip as they journey to new places, including Miami’s South Beach, Washington, D.C., Mount Rushmore, a dude ranch in Colorado, Area 51, a Native American reservation in the Grand Canyon and more. As they explore new cultures and values, they leave their redneck stamp on each postcard destination along the way.