Sunday, April 8th
Nurse Jackie, season premiere at 9pm on Showtime
– Jackie Peyton (Emmy award winner Edie Falco) is far from ordinary. As an ER nurse, she skillfully navigates the rough waters of a crumbling healthcare system, doing everything she can to provide her patients with the best possible care. She’s a devoted family member, co-worker and friend, always going the extra mile to help her peeps in every way possible. But this nurse is not what she seems. She’s hiding a nasty addiction to pain pills and an illicit affair with the hospital pharmacist. As avoiding detection becomes more and more difficult, the lies pile on top of each other, and the monkey remains firmly on her back, Jackie’s life becomes a high wire juggling act without a net. Now out of tricks, out of excuse and out of control, Jackie finally has to seek help. But coming clean won’t be easy. As Jackie’s about to learn, the truth is a hell of a drug.
The Big C, season premiere at 9:30pm on Showtime
– Mild, conservative Minneapolis wife and mother Cathy Jamison’s life got a major shock when she received a terminal cancer diagnosis. She let her freak flag fly, then got serious about checking things off her bucket list and fighting the disease with everything she’s got. Season two saw Cathy trying to cram half a life into the little time she has left while fighting with everything she’s got in an experimental drug trial, only to have her husband Paul suffer a massive heart attack. Now Cathy appears to be on the mend. Her tumors have continued to shrink, and her doctor is no longer talking about “when,” but “if.” She’s been given a major do-over, and it’s finally time for her to kick up her heels and have some fun in this bold, heartfelt and surprising comedy.
The Borgias, season premiere at 10pm on Showtime
– Set in 15th century Italy at the height of the Renaissance, The Borgias chronicles the corrupt rise of patriarch Rodrigo Borgia (Jeremy Irons) to the papacy as Pope Alexander VI, where he proceeds to commit every sin in the book to amass and retain power, influence, and enormous wealth for himself and his family. He uses his cunning son Cesare and the family’s new assassin Micheletto to secure his power; Rodrigo forges strategic alliances by offering the hands of his daughter Lucrezia and his son Joffre in marriage to rival aristocrats. Rodrigo also proves to be an astute diplomat and military strategist who changes the map of Italy, and the course of history, forever. The Borgias’ mortal enemy Cardinal Della Rovere wields his influence to persuade King Charles of France to invade Italy and depose the corrupt Pope. But Alexander persuades the French King to spare him (and Rome) and instead head south for the Kingdom of Naples. The unbounded audacity of this original crime family went on to inspire Machiavelli’s “The Prince” and Mario Puzo’s “The Godfather.”
The Client List, series premiere at 10pm on Lifetime
– Everyone’s got something to hide and Riley Parks is no exception. Jennifer Love Hewitt plays Riley, a single mother, living in a small Texas town and leading a shocking double life. Her secret would send shockwaves through the community and possibly land her in jail if it was ever exposed. Riley’s taken a job at a seemingly traditional day spa, but soon realizes that the parlor offers a little more than just massage therapy. It’s not the happy ending she was expecting but it does open her eyes to a world she’s never seen before. The series follows Riley balancing these two worlds – one that revolves around her kids and family – and the other that revolves around the massage parlor and it’s special clientele. These two worlds couldn’t be farther apart, yet she’s totally comfortable in both. Keeping them separate … now that’s the tricky part as she discovers she’s not the only one with secrets.
Monday, April 9th
Hotel Impossible, series premiere at 10pm on Travel
– Competition is fierce in the hotel business. Online review sites can kill a business’ reputation with one bad review. Staffs are untrained, surly or apathetic in a profession that lives or dies on service. So what’s a struggling hotel operator to do? Bring in Anthony Melchiorri, a hotel “fixer,” who can turn any establishment around in weeks … and he does just that in Hotel Impossible. Melchiorri’s tough-love style can be hard to swallow and overhauling a business is a painful and often emotional task, but the potential reward of a fully booked hotel with excellent customer reviews makes it all worth it.
Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations, season premiere at 9pm on Travel
– As he continues to explore every corner of the globe on his Emmy Award winning Travel Channel series, chef and host Anthony Bourdain encounters the weird, wild and downright outrageous personalities and places that help define the international cultural landscape. Whether it’s eating the raw eyeball off a bloody seal carcass on a kitchen floor, flying through the treetops of Vancouver on a zip-line, or hunting for lizards in the desert of Saudi Arabia, Bourdain refuses to yield to middle age or tar-stained lungs when adventure comes calling. However, it’s the foreign food that best captures our host’s attention. In the world of a cook, an understanding and appreciation of how others eat is akin to discovering secret societies and cryptic subcultures. Cooks have special access. As always, the food is only the first glimpse of a wider view of how people live their lives in faraway lands and unfamiliar territories.
NewNowNext Awards, awards show from 10 to 11:30pm on Logo
– Kelly Osbourne hosts and Idol alum Adam Lambert performs.
Tuesday, April 10th
Shannen Says, series premiere at 10pm on WEtv
– An international icon, a devoted daughter, a perfectionist and a bride-to-be (for the third time) – there’s more to Shannen Doherty than tabloids have led you to believe. In the original series, Shannen Says, Shannen Doherty takes viewers on the bumpy and hilarious ride toward the altar with her fiancé, famed photographer Kurt Iswarienko. As if wedding preparations aren’t stressful enough, Shannen has only seven weeks to plan and pull off her big day. When the pressure becomes too much, Shannen enlists My Fair Wedding host David Tutera to help bring her vision to life. Pre-wedding jitters, a career-distracted groom, a trip to Prague, family turmoil and wardrobe malfunctions should be enough to make them pull the plug – but maybe love will conquer all, in Shannen Says.
Glee, midseason premiere at 8pm on FOX
Dream Machines, series premiere at 10pm on Syfy
– The Parker Brothers, Shanon and Marc, take the vehicles fantasies are made of and turn them into crazy cool realities. Since creating Parker Brothers Concepts, the sibling duo and their talented team have built a variety of vehicles. Now they’re ready to take their imaginations to the next level for their new Syfy reality series. Tune in as this daredevil crew pushes the limits with fast, powerful and original machines that will blow your mind. For the Parker Brothers, anything is possible and if you can dream it, they can build it.
Love for Sail, season premiere at 10pm on Lifetime
– Ahoy! Lifetime sets its sights on romance on the high-seas by taking match-making to new territories with the launch of the docu-dating series Love for Sail. The series will follow single women as they leave their day-to-day lives behind looking for love aboard a tropical cruise liner. In each episode, four adventurous women will board a Norwegian Cruise Line ship and set sail to exotic locations surrounded by a group of equally-eager single men ready to embark on what they hope to be the voyage of their lives. With the help of the series’ Cruise Directors, Bucko and Carmen, the women meet their suitors at an opening mixer…and then the intense match-making begins. Throughout the cruise the singles participate in a wide variety of romantic dates, mixer parties and adventuresome excursions in many ports of call, giving them the time and space to learn more about each other. Some will make love connections. But for others, it’s not smooth sailing. Either way, viewers will enjoy the fun and drama behind the competitive courtship among the women and men, all of who are hoping to hook-in a mate on this once in a lifetime journey.
Wednesday, April 11th
Don’t Trust the B—- in Apartment 23, series premiere at 9:30pm on ABC
– This hilariously witty new comedy about an ill-fitting pair of roommates was given the coveted post-Modern Family spot in ABC’s Wednesday night comedy block where it will hopefully amass the large audience it deserves. A wide-eyed Midwestern girl moves to New York City to pursue her dream job only to find herself living with an outlandish girl with the morals of a pirate. June’s (Dreama Walker) well-planned well-organized life takes a drastic turn when she arrives in New York to find that the corporate finance job she moved there for no longer exists. As she tries to navigate her newly single life in the big city, her Midwestern scruples are constantly put to the test by her wild and sophisticated party-girl roommate Chloe (Krysten Ritter, Breaking Bad) and Chloe’s best friend, the actor James Van Der Beek (James Van Der Beek, Dawson’s Creek) playing a douche version of himself. The two girls form an unlikely friendship that leads them both to unexpected places and often-illegal experiences.
Baggage Battles, series premiere at 10pm on Travel
– Travel Channel provides a glimpse into the very profitable business of bidding, buying and reselling unclaimed luggage in the new original series Baggage Battles, premiering with a special one-hour season opener featuring back-to-back episodes. The half-hour series follows 3 teams of savvy “auction specialists” who travel to some of the most important and unknown auctions where their bids are based on sight unseen instincts. The season premiere will kick off at Miami International Airport, one of the busiest airports in the world, and then the auction pros will jump across “The Pond” to London. With dozens of auctions to visit, thousands of bags to explore, and millions of dollars at stake, these auction specialists need both skill and luck to hit the jackpot. They don’t know if it’s junk or a jackpot until they win the bid and open the suitcase.
Thursday, April 12th
Eagleheart, season premiere at 11:59pm on Cartoon
– Eagleheart is a live-action comedy on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim produced by Conan O’Brien’s production company, Conaco. Eagleheart follows US Marshall Chris Monsanto (Chris Elliott) as he fights crime with his two partners: the slow-witted Brett and by-the-book Susie. They take on drug smugglers, art thieves, kidnappers, and con artists with bloody violence and gruesome deaths ensuing. The Marshalls report to The Chief who gives them their assignments. Each episode is non-canonical and there is no running storyline. Eagleheart parodies many cop shows, most notably Walker, Texas Ranger and is notorious for its large amounts of graphic violence.
Friday, April 13th
Say Yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids, season premiere at 9pm on TLC
– You think helping a bride-to-be say yes to the dress is dramatic? How about getting the bride and all of her bridesmaids to say yes to the same dress? The team at Bridals By Lori has the dress selection to do just that, but they’ll also have to referee a process where friendships are lost in an instant, brides become bridezillas, and bridal parties revolt. While upstairs, it’s all about the bride, down here in the bridesmaids department, it’s mayhem.
Saturday, April 14th
Titanic, miniseries premiere from 8 to 10pm on ABC
– From creator Julian Fellowes (Downton Abbey) comes the epic four-part miniseries that will conclude on the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the RMS Titanic on April 15, 1912. Titanic is an extraordinary re-telling of the doomed voyage that cleverly weaves action, mystery and romance. Shot in Budapest, Hungary, it features both fictional and historical characters, ranging from steerage passengers and crew to upper class guests and staff, who all come together in an explosive and unforgettable finale. Each hour follows similar events from different points of view, culminating in a cliff-hanger, as the ship begins to founder, and building to an explosive conclusion in the final hour that draws together all the stories. Viewers will be taken on a heart-wrenching journey through Titanic’s last moments, as it’s revealed who among the characters they’ve come to know so well will survive, and who will not.