Curb Your Enthusiasm, season premiere at 10pm on HBO
– Seinfeld co-creator Larry David stars at himself in an unsparing tongue-in-cheek depiction of his life. Shot in a verite style and featuring celebrities playing themselves, the episodes are improvised by the actors from an outline created by David. Season 8 finds David relocating to his hometown of NYC and will feature the fabulous Wanda Sykes in a recurring role, as well as guest stars Ricky Gervais, Michael J. Fox, and Rosie O’Donnell.
Famous Food, series premiere at 10pm on VH1
– From Ashton Kutcher’s Geisha House to Robert DeNiro’s Ago, attaching a celebrity’s name to a restaurant is definitely a growing trend in Hollywood…. but is it always a recipe for success? This new reality series will put this concept to the test by partnering with renowned restaurateurs, The Dolce Group, to give seven celebrities the chance to turn an empty Sunset Strip eatery into a flourishing and fully operating restaurant. If they succeed — one of them will be rewarded with a partnership position in the new venture. The Hills’ star Heidi Montag, Eliot Spitzer’s call girl Ashley Dupre, Three 6 Mafia’s DJ Paul and Juicy “J,” New Jersey Housewife Danielle Staub, The Sopranos’ Vincent Pastore, and The Bachelor’s Jake Pavelka all try their hand at opening a restaurant, which they all have no skill or business doing but oh well I guess watching them crack and fail under the pressure will be amusing.
Monday, July 11th
Adventure Time, season premiere at 8pm on Cartoon Network
– After the animated short became a viral hit on the Internet, Carton Network picked it up for a full-length series in 2008. The show focuses on the surreal adventures undertaken by two best friends, Finn the human boy and Jake the dog with magical powers, that dwell in the Land of Ooo.
The Closer, season premiere at 9pm on TNT
– The seventh and final season of The Closer comes at the behest of star Kyra Sedgwick, aka Kevin Bacon’s wife, who made the call to retire the crime drama after a long and successful run as Southern Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson, head of the Major Crimes division, in ad-supported cable’s number 1 series. Not to fret though, in May TNT announced that a spin-off, entitled Major Crimes and starring Mary McDonnell as Captain Sharon Raydor, had been picked up for a 10-episode season.
Man vs. Wild, season premiere at 9pm on Discovery
This exciting series brings seasoned adventurer Bear Grylls face to face with the grueling task of navigating remote locations, sharing invaluable survival strategies along the way. To kick off a run of all-new episodes, Bear Grylls brought along a companion — actor Jake Gyllenhaal to share in his adventures.
Anthony Bourdain No Reservations, season premiere at 9pm on Travel Channel
– Besides the chef’s hat, Anthony Bourdain wears many others: TV personality, best-selling author, public speaker, weary world traveler, gourmand, punk-rock aficionado, proud New Yorker and, most recently, doting father. He’s even kicked his lifelong smoking habit. However, the fans that know him best can rest assured that the infamously grumpy, sharp-tongued host of No Reservations has become anything but pedestrian. As he continues to explore every corner of the globe on his Emmy winning series, Anthony Bourdain encounters the weird, wild and downright outrageous personalities and places that help define the international cultural landscape. In the world of a cook, an understanding and appreciation of how others eat is akin to discovering secret societies and cryptic subcultures. The food is only the first glimpse of a wider view of how people live their lives in faraway lands and unfamiliar territories. In the season premiere, Tony travels to Cuba in the search of the island’s heart and soul where beauty abounds in the people, the food, and the architecture and streets that are riddled with pristine cars from a different era.
Rizzoli & Isles, season premiere at 10pm on TNT
– Law & Order’s Angie Harmon stars as a Boston homicide detective in this female-centered crime drama returning for its sophomore season. The series follows Jane Rizzoli (Harmon) and medical examiner Maura Isles (Sasha Alexander) working together to solve crimes and bust criminals. Growing up at opposite ends of the economic spectrum, the two remain strikingly different from one another in many ways. Jane, the only female detective in Boston’s homicide division, is a tough and gutsy cop who doesn’t let her guard down, dodges her overprotective mother and is better at basketball than her brother. Maura, meanwhile, is usually more comfortable among the dead than the living. She is always impeccably dressed in designer duds with a steady, sometimes icy temperament. And she is working on curbing her tendency to diagnose the people she meets – including her first dates. Despite their many differences, Jane and Maura are best friends, with a quirky and supportive relationship.
Alphas, series premiere at 10pm on Syfy
– Alphas is an action-packed thriller from writers Zak Penn (The Avengers, X-Men: The Last Stand) and Michael Karnow. In the series, five ordinary people are brought together to form one extraordinary team of Alphas — people with the unique power to stretch the capabilities of the human mind giving them superhuman physical and mental abilities. Operating within the Defense Criminal Investigation Service of the U.S. Department of Defense and led by preeminent neurologist and psychiatrist Dr. Lee Rosen (Emmy Award-winner and Academy Award-nominee David Strathairn), an expert in Alpha phenomena, the team investigates cases that point to others with Alpha abilities. As they work against the clock to solve this new brand of crime, they must prevent their own personality differences and disparate backgrounds from interfering with their ultimate mission to catch the enemy.
Tuesday, July 12th
It’s Worth What?, season premiere at 8pm on NBC
– Hosted by Cedric The Entertainer, this game show taps into America’s love for cost and value, such as hidden gems found in one’s attic. Through set imagery and a never-ending flow of collectibles, antiques and near-priceless treasures, America is brought into a world with seemingly endless doors behind which are various objects ranging from a life-sized replica of the White House, to William Shatner’s kidney stone which was auctioned off for charity. A pair of contestants is taken through a series of challenges that escalate in level of difficulty, tasking the contestants with discerning the price of the items in each round. If they successfully complete the challenges, contestants can win up to $1 million.
Food(ography), season premiere at 9pm on Cooking Channel
– Ever wonder how people and societies were shaped by food? Take a look at cultural food themes by learning about the past, present and future of iconic, classic and tasty treats. CBS Sunday Morning News correspondent, writer, actor, satirist and food person, Mo Rocca hosts.
Wednesday, July 13th
Roseanne’s Nuts, season premiere at 9pm on Lifetime
– Where in the world is Roseanne Barr? Lifetime answers the question with the premiere of the all-new docu-series Roseanne’s Nuts, marking the Emmy Award–winning actress, comedienne and best-selling author’s eagerly awaited return to television. Following Barr’s decision to manage a fully functional 40-acre macadamia and livestock farm in Hawaii after a long, self-imposed sabbatical from series television, Roseanne will mark her long-awaited television re-debut with back-to-back episodes.
Damages, season premiere at 10pm on DirecTV
– The Emmy award-winning series starring Glenn Close and Rose Byrnes returns to TV on a new network after FX pulled the plug due to high production costs from the series’ all star cast and on-location shooting in NYC. The highly anticipated fourth season of the legal thriller takes on the controversial subject of private military contractors in the Middle East. Two years after the Tobin case, Ellen (Byrne) has moved on with her life. Now an attorney at her old mentor’s firm, she’s content with her cases and colleagues. Deep down, however, she wants a bigger challenge. When she discovers her friend has been through a traumatic experience while working for High Star, a private security firm hired by the U.S. government to carry out special missions in Afghanistan, she suspects foul play and asks her old boss Patty (Close), who in season 1 ordered a hit on Ellen, for help. Patty knows that trying a case against High Star can make Ellen’s career. Or ruin it.
The Franchise: A Season With the San Francisco Giants, season premiere at 10pm on Showtime
– This new docu-series follows the 2010 World Series champions as they defend their title in 2011. With unprecedented access to Giants players, their families, coaches and team personnel, this series provides a candid look at the struggles, relationships and day-to-day lives of Major League Baseball players. It’s an up close and personal journey from the off-season to Spring Training, the All-Star Game and beyond.
Rescue Me, season premiere at 10pm on FX
– In the aftermath of Damian’s on-the-job accident, Tommy, Sheila, and the guys of the 62 truck have done their best to work through the tragedy and get on with their lives. Things have slowed down for Tommy, both at home and on the job, until a news reporter decides to feature Jimmy as the subject of her 9/11 retrospective. When she delves too deep into the personal lives of her subjects and suggests fault within the FDNY, Tommy turns on her and soon finds himself jobless. With Tommy absent, Lou at less than hundred percent, and Feinberg deteriorating fast, Franco seizes the opportunity to take on a leadership role. Under Franco, the house sees order unlike ever before. But Franco’s inexperience leading the troops into battle proves to be treacherous.
Dance Moms, series premiere at 10pm on Lifetime
– Set in Pittsburgh’s renowned Abby Lee Dance Company, owned and operated by notoriously demanding and passionate instructor Abby Lee Miller, this new reality series follows children’s early steps on the road to stardom, and their doting mothers who are there for every rehearsal, performance and bow … all under the discerning eye of Miller. Presenting a powerful cast of characters sure to raise eyebrows, the series immerses itself in the highs and lows surrounding competition season to deliver an intriguing and dramatic look at the cast’s frantic pursuit of the ultimate National Dance title. Centered on the devoted Miller, who runs her school with an iron tap shoe as she instructs her young, talented students while also dealing with over-the-top mothers who go to great lengths to help their children’s dreams come true, Dance Moms will pose the tough questions many ask about what really goes on behind the scenes in the fast-growing and controversial sport of competitive dance.
Thursday, July 14th
Sweet Home Alabama, series premiere at 9pm on CMT
– It’s a Southern version of The Bachelorette with way less resources than ABC to take them on exciting adventures around the world and possibly bachelors who are not just on the show for their own shameless self-promotion. Ten “city slickers” and 10 “country” guys are vying for the affections of Devin Grissom, a sweet Southern girl from Alabama. In order to win her heart, the bachelors from across the country compete in challenges to win time with the Southern beauty. In each one-hour episode, Devin says goodbye to more of her suitors in the hopes of finding her true love and someone her family approves.
The Green Room With Paul Provenza, season premiere at 11pm on Showtime
– New York City native Paul Provenza is a comedian/actor/producer and the director of the critically acclaimed documentary, The Aristocrats. For the second season of his backstage original Showtime series The Green Room, Provenza has assembled a wide range of hilarious panelists to tackle a variety of provocative subjects. The series offers comedy fans the chance to see the world’s greatest comedians in a roundtable setting, speaking off-the-cuff and uncensored in front of a studio audience. No rules, no agenda, no censors… just some of the funniest people around, riffing on and ripping each other apart.
Saturday, July 16th
Pit Boss, season premiere at 10pm on Animal Planet
– Former actor, entertainment guru and pit bull rescuer Shorty Rossi has lofty ideals, a tough attitude and an entertainment industry Rolodex to help his cause. He’s gathered together a team to take on the gargantuan task of rescuing, rehabbing and training the most misunderstood breed — pit bulls. Shorty, a workaholic with a devilish sense of humor and quick temper, balances two jobs—running Shortywood Productions, a Hollywood talent management company for little people, as well as Shorty’s Rescue, his pit bull rescue group. Shorty, aptly named, and his three cohorts happen to be little people with the biggest hearts for these adorable dogs, who often are bigger than they are. From the producers of Millionaire Matchmaker and Blowout, Pit Boss follows the everyday drama and joy of these buddies and business partners as they hit the streets of Los Angeles in their fight to overcome stereotypes — for themselves and the pit bulls they save.