Monday, March 28th
Silent Library, season premiere at 7pm on MTV
– Rarely does the word library become part of the title of a new MTV show that has been described as “Jackass… set in an enclosed environment.” Modeled after a Japanese game show, Silent Library will represent a new breed of competition format that will feature six friends, all vying for a cash prize, forced to impose unimaginable, beyond hysterical stunts on one another. With stunts ranging from brushing one’s teeth with wasabi to having your face held in the path of “the slapper” (a gloved hand that rotates on an automated machine) it will be obvious to viewers that remaining silent is much easier said than done.
Home Takeover with Simon & Tomas, series premiere at 8pm on OWN
– After tackling hundreds of “home takeovers” throughout Sweden and the world, lauded interior designers Simon Davies and Tomas Cederlund are embarking on their first design rescue journey across the United States. The high-energy design duo, armed with their distinctive Swedish style and razor-sharp wit, is on a mission to help American homeowners redecorate and redesign their unstylish rooms.
The Secret Life of the American Teenager, midseason premiere at 8pm on ABC Family
Make It or Break It, midseason premiere at 9pm on ABC Family
Nurse Jackie, season premiere at 10pm on Showtime
– Showtime’s dark comedy about a pill-popping nurse with quick wit, interesting bedside manner, and questionable moral ethics is back for season 3. As an ER nurse, Jackie Peyton skillfully navigates the rough waters of a crumbling healthcare system, doing everything she can to provide her patients with the best possible care. She’s a devoted wife, mother and friend, always going the extra mile to help her peeps in every way possible. But this nurse is not what she seems. She’s hiding a nasty addiction to pain pills, an illicit affair with the hospital pharmacist, and the fact that she’s married with kids from her co-workers. Last season ended with the ugly truth closing in on super-nurse Jackie. Her lover Eddie threatened to come clean about their affair to his good friend Kevin, who also happens to be Jackie’s husband. And O’Hara and Kevin put the pieces together about Jackie’s pill-popping ways and confronted her about her addiction. But if the people in her life think one little intervention is going to stop her, they don’t know Jackie.
United States of Tara, season premiere at 10:30pm on Showtime
– Suburban wife and mother Tara Gregson (Emmy Award winner Toni Collette) juggles her family and career while suffering from Dissociative Identity Disorder — a condition formerly known as multiple personality disorder. It’s never a dull moment in the Gregson household, as Tara’s supportive husband Max and their two teenaged children, Kate and Marshall, try to lead as much of a “normal” life as possible. In Season 2, when Tara decided to move on from her past, a sudden neighborhood incident opens the door to her family’s shocking secrets. Her alters — some old and some new — helped her unravel the mysteries while simultaneously infusing their own chaos into the mix. Meanwhile, the rest of Tara’s family explored their own identities as Max hit a boiling point, Marshall questioned his sexuality, Kate took on an online fantasy persona, and Charmaine found herself in a complicated love triangle. Tune into the season three premiere to see how far Tara and her alters will go this season.
Tuesday, March 29th
Addicted to Food, series premiere at 10pm on OWN
– In this riveting new docu-series, eight people battle their addiction to the one thing they literally can’t live without: food. At Shades of Hope, a rural Texas treatment center, these desperate clients struggle through an intense 42-day treatment plan led by maverick therapist Tennie McCarty. Using unorthodox methods and a tough-love approach, Tennie asks her clients to confront the painful issues in their lives that have led them to use food as an escape. Full of drama, emotion and triumph, Addicted to Food shows us that recovery is possible even for people who fear their lives are hopeless. It’s like Oprah’s positive version of the A&E docu-series Heavy or like The Biggest Loser without the grueling competition element, on this show every person is a winner.
All on the Line, series premiere at 10pm on Sundance Channel
– Joe Zee – fashion powerhouse, celebrity stylist, and Creative Director of ELLE – helps struggling designers save their lines from ruin. Each designer was once heating up the runways but has since lost their way. Now, they have a second chance in his fashion bootcamp. With his market savvy, positive spirit, and a little tough love, Joe attempts to transform these talented but failing businesses into rack ready lines. It’s All on the Line for these designers as they rework everything to show a buyer who can make – or break – their dreams.
Body of Proof, series premiere at 10pm on ABC
– Remember when Dana Delaney’s storyline on Desperate Housewives was getting ridiculously crazy and out of control, literally? Well thank goodness the pilot for this show came along and she was written out of Housewives to star in this new crime drama series, even if her character in this show does have the rather unpleasant job of spending most of her work day examining corpses. Dr. Megan Hunt was in a class of her own, a brilliant neurosurgeon at the top of her game. Her world is turned upside down when a devastating car accident puts an end to her time in the operating room. Megan resumes her career as a medical examiner determined to solve the puzzle of who or what killed the victims. Megan’s instincts are sharp, but she’s developed a reputation for graying the lines of where her job ends and where the police department’s begins. It turns out her career isn’t the only thing that will need to be rebuilt; Megan’s family has taken a backseat to her ambition, and now she’ll discover there’s a lot of work to do when it comes to dissecting her relationships with the living.
Wednesday, March 30th
The Ultimate Fighter, season premiere at 9pm on Spike
– This reality series and mixed martial arts (MMA) competition comes to us thanks to the collaboration between the man channel Spike TV and The Ultimate Fighting Competition (UFC) in their quest to find the country’s next Ultimate Fighter. The show features unknown, professional MMA fighters living together in Las Vegas and follows them as they train and compete against each other for a prized contract with the UFC.
Coal, series premiere at 10pm on Spike
– Leave it up to the macho men’s favorite channel to make a new reality show about coal miners, although it may be quite timely given the worldwide attention the trapped Chilean miners garnered last year, and reminded us all of just how dangerous this profession is. Mike Crowder and Tom Roberts of West Virginia struck up a partnership while watching their sons practice football and created Cobalt Coal Corporation. They lead their more than 40 machine operators, foremen, electricians, and drivers into one of the most dangerous workplaces on the planet. Every aspect of the job will be covered, from the dangers behind the super-charged explosions needed to open surface mines, to the well-publicized daily dangers of working in the dark recesses of the earth’s crust in a traditional shaft mine. As they face the daily pressure to keep the mine up and running and their workers safe, family men Crowder and Roberts will rely on the support of their loved ones to tackle the mine’s daily demands.
Thursday, March 31st
Mobbed, special at 9pm on FOX
– Are you ready to get flash mobbed? Host Howie Mandel puts a hidden-camera spin on the popular “flash mob” concept. Mandel and hundreds of strangers will help special guests plan extraordinary surprises for friends, family members, loved ones or co-workers. These unknowing participants will be shocked and stunned by surprise performances that lead up to fantastic reveals that include a husband learning that his wife is pregnant, an applicant finding out that she got the job and a marriage proposal, among others. Throughout the hour, the guests will be shown prepping for the event – rehearsing their routines and refining their speeches – all while receiving guidance from host Mandel. Then, on the day of the big event – with the hidden cameras rolling – the detailed plan comes to fruition.
Swamp People, season premiere at 9pm on History Channel
– Deep in the heart of Louisiana lies America’s largest swamp–a million miles of inhospitable bayous, marshes and wetlands where nature rules and humans struggle to tame it. Resilient, self-reliant and fiercely independent, the Cajuns of the Atchafalaya Swamp still carry on many of their ancestors’ trades and traditions. Cameras follow these swampers through a time of year that is crucial to their survival: the 30-day alligator-hunting season. At its core, this is a uniquely American story of a proud and skillful people fighting to maintain an ancient way of life in a rapidly modernizing world, despite the many perils and trials that stand in their way.
Friday, April 1st
Chaos, series premiere at 8pm on CBS
– This new comedic drama is about a group of rogue CIA spies in the Clandestine Administration and Oversight Services (CHAOS), who combat threats to national security amidst bureaucratic gridlock, rampant incompetence and political infighting. The team tackles high risk foreign intelligence missions using manipulation, deception and wit to succeed. Rick Martinez was dismayed when his dream job as a spy was eliminated on his first day. However, CIA Deputy Director H.J. Higgins, a calculating mastermind and the head of CHAOS, recognizes Rick’s unique skill set and places him as an unwitting mole inside the department. Martinez joins the team under Michael Dorset, a psychologist turned CIA operative and a tactical genius motivated by pure paranoia. Working with Martinez is Scottish-born Billy Collins, de-commissioned from the British Secret Service and deported from the United Kingdom; Casey Malick, a 12 year veteran of the agency with an understated demeanor and the ability to transform into a “human weapon.” Attacking each assignment with unparalleled confidence and gusto, these operatives perform covert operations, exert political influence and eradicate all manner of evil – and that’s just to survive the morning staff meeting.
Camelot, series premiere at 10pm on Starz
– Starz presents its new historical-fantasy-drama series based on Arthurian legend. In the wake of King Uther’s sudden death, chaos threatens to engulf Britain. When the sorcerer Merlin (Joseph Fiennes) has visions of a dark future, he installs the young and impetuous Arthur (Jamie Campbell Bower), Uther’s unknown son and heir, who has been raised from birth as a commoner. But Arthur’s cold and ambitious half sister Morgan will fight him to the bitter end, summoning unnatural forces to claim the crown in this epic battle for control. These are dark times indeed for the new king, with Guinevere being the only shining light in Arthur’s harsh world. Faced with profound moral decisions, and the challenge of uniting a kingdom broken by war and steeped in deception, Arthur will be tested beyond imagination.
Say Yes to the Dress: Randy Knows Best, series premiere at 10pm on TLC
– TLC adds another installment of the hit Say Yes to the Dress franchise with this new spin-off featuring Kleinfeld Bridal’s fashion director and star of Say Yes to the Dress – Randy Fenoli – as he dishes out his top ten tips on a variety of bridal related categories. Whether it’s picking out the perfect dress for your body, choosing a dress to complement your venue or theme, or deciding who and what to bring to your bridal appointment, Randy takes on a number of topics as he shares his bridal expertise with viewers.