Monday September 6th

MAD, series premiere at 8:30pm on Cartoon Network

– The outrageous humor and pop culture parodies of MAD magazine come to life in this satirical animated sketch show. Each episode is a collection of 30-second long animated parodies of television shows, movies, games, celebrities and other media using various types of animation. The series of 15-minute micro-sodes aimed at the Robot Chicken set pack a sick punch.

Hoarders, season premiere at 9pm with 2 back-to-back episodes on A&E

– Each episode of this groundbreaking series follows two different people whose inability to let go of their belongings is so out of control that they are on the verge of personal disaster. In season three, the stakes couldn’t be higher as the people profiled are faced with life-changing consequences including eviction, divorce, demolition of their homes, jail time, loss of their children, and even death.

Thintervention with Jackie Warner, series premiere at 10:15pm on Bravo

– In this new series, Work Out trainer Jackie Warner will do what she does best – kick butt and inspire drastic lifestyle changes for her overweight clients who are struggling to lose weight and get healthy for good. Warner will push them to their limit at her gym and inspire them with intense workouts at amazing locations. Not sent to a weight loss camp or facility, instead Warner works with them in their real lives surrounded by the everyday distractions and stresses of family and work, making the chances for long-term success greater. Progress will be checked through group therapy and daily weigh-ins. Warner will do whatever it takes to keep her clients on track – even if it means surprise ambushes at their homes, work or when out socializing.

Tuesday September 7th

360 Sessions, series premiere at 9pm on IFC

– IFC gets up close and personal with some of its biggest and most promising stars in the music industry in this new original docu-series. Each 30-minute episode features a stellar musician or band telling their story in their own words, with intimate in-studio performances recorded live. The 13-episode series captures the more personal side of a musician’s life – in the recording studio, on the road, and at rest – as they share their experiences and their path to success and achievement. The premiere episode follows Snoop Dogg in his hometown of Long Beach, California.

Sons of Anarchy, season premiere at 10pm on FX

– FX’s hit original series is an adrenalized drama with darkly comedic undertones that explores a notorious outlaw motorcycle club’s (MC) desire to protect its livelihood while ensuring that their simple, sheltered town of Charming, California remains exactly that, Charming. The MC must confront threats from drug dealers, corporate developers, and overzealous law officers. Behind the MC’s familial lifestyle and legally thriving automotive shop is a ruthless and illegally thriving arms business. The seduction of money, power, and blood. This season begins with SAMCRO feeling powerless over baby Abel’s kidnapping, especially Jax, whose grief sends him into deeper turmoil over his future with the club.

Wednesday September 8th

America’s Next Top Model, season premiere at 8pm on The CW

– The hit catfight of a reality series goes high-fashion for cycle 15. The show features Tyra Banks and gives real young women of various backgrounds an opportunity to prove that they can make it in the high-stress, high-stakes world of high fashion supermodeling. Banks leads the panel of judges, comprised of influential fashion editor André Leon Talley and photographer Nigel Barker. Jay Manuel serves as the photo shoot creative director, while Miss J Alexander returns as the runway trainer. The winner of Cycle 15 will receive a career-launching package, including a contract with IMG Models; a fashion spread in Vogue Italia and an additional spread and cover of Beauty in Vogue; and a $100,000 contract with CoverGirl Cosmetics.

Hellcats, series premiere at 9pm on The CW

– Marti Perkins (Disney’s Aly Michalka) planned to get through Lancer University on her scholarship, go to law school, and leave Memphis and her hard-drinking mother behind to start a new life as an attorney. Instead, Marti’s scholarship gets cancelled and her mother “forgets” to tell her. Out of options, Marti finds herself fighting for a spot on the Hellcats — Lancer’s legendary cheer squad — and for the scholarship that comes with it. The squad needs a new member when the beautiful Alice Verdura is injured, and Marti’s fierce style, soulful moves and gymnastic elegance win her a place on the team, despite an ugly encounter with Savannah Monroe, a petite and peppy Texan played by High School Musical’s Ashley Tisdale, who ends up being Marti’s new roommate. Marti instantly hits it off with her new squad partner Flynn, and their budding friendship causes alarm bells to go off for Lewis’ ex, Alice.

Terriers, series premiere at 10pm on FX

– This new dramedy centers on “Hank Dolworth,” an ex-cop, who partners with his best friend “Britt Pollack” (True Blood’s Michael Raymond-James) in an unlicensed private investigation business. Comedic, edgy, original, a show about high stakes in the face of low expectations, Terriers explores what it’s like in today’s America to be “too small to fail.”

Thursday September 9th

The Vampire Diaries, season premiere at 8pm on The CW

– Returning for its second season, this surprisingly good drama series is the story of two vampire brothers obsessed with the same beautiful girl, and battling to control the fate of an entire town. During season one, Stefan (Paul Wesley, Fallen) and Damon Salvatore (Ian Somerhalder, Lost), returned to their hometown of Mystic Falls, Virginia, for very different reasons – Stefan was determined to get to know Elena Gilbert (Nina Dobrev) who bears a striking resemblance to Katherine Pierce, the beautiful but ruthless vampire the brothers knew and loved in 1864. Meanwhile Damon returns intent on releasing Katherine from the tomb where he believed she was trapped by a witch’s spell all those years ago. In season two, the appearance of the villainous Katherine in Mystic Falls will throw a wrench into the love triangle between Stefan, Elena and Damon, and the other residents of Mystic Falls must choose sides as they fall victim to a new breed of danger. Stefan and Damon will be forced to face a villain more evil and diabolical than they ever believed possible.

Nikita, series premiere at 9pm on The CW

– CW is making a risky move with this second small-screen adaptation of the hit ’90 French film “La Femme Nikita” that has been unable to find long-lasting success as a TV series. But there is hope that this one will be a winner with Mission: Impossible III’s Maggie Q sizzling as Nikita, a deeply troubled teenager rescued from death row by a secret U.S. agency known only as Division, who faked her execution and told her she was being given a second chance to start a new life and serve her country. What they didn’t tell her was that she was being trained as a spy and assassin. Throughout her grueling training at Division, Nikita never lost her humanity, even falling in love with a civilian. When her fiancé was murdered, Nikita realized she had been betrayed by the only people she thought she could trust, so she did what no one else before her had been able to do: she escaped. Now, after three years in hiding, Nikita is seeking retribution and making it clear to her former bosses that she will stop at nothing to expose and destroy their covert operation.

Beast Legends, series premiere at 10pm on Syfy

– This new six-part series journeys around the world using scientific data to reconstruct what mythological monsters, from Krakens and Griffins to Fire Dragons, would have looked like. The investigations are conducted by the “Beast Seekers,” an expert team of specialists that includes anthropologists, biology professors, archaeologists and adventure seekers. In each of the hour-long episodes, Beast Legends uncovers historical and eyewitness accounts by zeroing in on archaeological and other physical evidence to assemble the most accurate picture possible of these monsters, from where they might have lived to how they would have behaved. The team then moves to the ‘Beast Lab’ to build the creature, first as initial sculpts and wire-frame forms, before finally bringing it to life in stunning 3D CGI.

Friday September 10th

Stand Up to Cancer, fund-raising special at 8pm on ABC, CBS, NBC, FOX, HBO, etc.

– Katie Couric, Diane Sawyer and Brian Williams host this special to raise money for cancer research featuring cancer-surviving celebs Christina Applegate, Robin Roberts, and Lance Armstrong among others.

DOC Talk, season premiere at 8pm on Documentary

– Documentarians get a chance to voice their opinions of why documentaries are awesome on a channel that very few people get, oh well.

Martin Lawrence Presents 1st Amendment Stand-Up, season premiere at 11pm on Starz

– Martin Lawrence Presents 1st Amendment Stand-Up is returning for a fifth season with comedian Sheryl Underwood as the new host. The new season welcomes a fresh line-up of rising and seasoned comedy stars. A no-holds barred urban standup comedy show featuring some of the hottest, hippest, comedians of the next generation along with seasoned veterans performing their most outrageous and funniest routines. Uncut, uncensored and unabashedly funny – 1st Amendment allows comedians to exercise their right to make you laugh!

Saturday September 11th

Cops, season premiere at 8pm on FOX

– The rawest and the realest of all so-called reality shows, COPS allows viewers to ride along with the men and women of law enforcement every week as they take on everything from domestic disputes to car chases. From the crazy and bizarre to the seriously dangerous, COPS never fails to surprise, startle and entertain.

America’s Most Wanted, season premiere at 9pm on FOX

– Most people know John Walsh as the dedicated host of America’s Most Wanted, the man whose groundbreaking television program has helped take down over 1,050 dangerous fugitives and bring home more than 50 missing children in the past 22 years. But it’s not the career he envisioned for himself. He was a successful businessman, building high-end luxury hotels and building his life. But in 1981 his six-year-old son was abducted and murdered. After Adam’s murder, everything changed. Ever since, John has dedicated himself to fighting on behalf of children and all crime victims.

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